Ready to make long-distance relationship real but getting mixed feelings from her now.?

Question

My gf and I have been together for 1 yr. We are 5 hrs apart, talk all the time and see each other once per month. Things are always great when we are together, we have talked about marriage and me relocating there in the past but I have been slow to act mainly due to the fact that it will be hard to find a job making what I do now and I am heavily in debt for 2 more yrs. I love her very much and she knows it but I have let our situation bring me down at times. We decided to take a break because she said she is tired of hoping for something that will never happen. I agreed at first but a few days later it hit me hard. We have continued talking and I went there this week to talk in person. I am applying for jobs there and have decided that I can't throw this away because of money. She says that she still loves me but it will take time to get back to where we were. I understand how she feels and am doing everything I can to convince her. Should I go there anyway not knowing.

Answer 1

well if she loves u as much as she u say she does and she knows how much u love her, n your problems, then she should see the significance in what your doing...good luck

Answer 2

She must know how serious you are with her with all the effort you are doing.But the way you're describing your relationship sounds a bit one-way to me.What is she doing in order to make the long distance relationship work?Was it the two of you who decided that you be the one relocating?Why not her relocating?
A few days separation could not change a person's feelings suddenly but maybe she is disappointed that your plans have not yet come through but instead of blaming it on you because you can't leave your job, why not for her to relocate?
I know you love her and maybe this has clouded the way you look at how she's handling your(plural) situation?You've only been together a year, talked a lot yet but words can be very easy to say.Being together all the time \can make you see the other person more than just listening to words.
If she has changed after just a year of trying to find a solution to your situation and says that it's hard to go back to where you were after just a few days of taking a break, I'm sorry but I think she gets disappointed too soon.Sometimes long distance relationships create an unreal relationship between two people because you really want it to work and many things are overlooked.
I'd suggest you spend more energy on knowing her and her feelings more first than focusing on you relocating.If she's as serious as you, try suggesting other alternatives other than you relocating if this is impossible for you financially.But I'm thinking if this is hard for you financially, wouldn't it be harder for you getting married now with the debt that you have?
I think she should think and consider and be more sensitive to your situation rather than focus on how your marriage plans and relocatin has not pushed through, if she really loves you.

Answer 3

2 options Go be with her no matter the consequences. The 2 of you together should make ends meet. Or move on. Start dating others and forget about her. No option 3 here. I lived 2 states away was single and making a good amount of money. I met this girl in another state. fell in love with her. So I gave up my home. moved with her Now I have a girlfriend with 2 children, A house mortgage and a LOT less money. but it was all worth it. No regrets. If you love her you will find a way. If your worried about money and debt. Then maybe you should question your love for here.

Answer 4

my friend tommy and his EX girlfriend tried a long distance relationship he lives in Binghmaton, NY and she likes in North Carolina and they tried it but when she moved away it was hard to keep all the feelings that were there they talk all the time and he sees her once in awhile when is family goes down there for a holiday she only moved last year but they stll have strong feelings for each other but they broke up in september because its hard to keep tabs on that person you dont know what there doing or if there telling the truth all you can do is hope that they are. They both still have feeling for eachother and they think that maybe it will work in the future. u never know when someone could just come along and you could find some one who could become special to you in a matter of time. You dont wanna waste yer time on a long distance relationship that could ruin your hope for a good futurer with someone close by.


respond back

Answer 5

Life is about taking chances! I say yes, you should go.

I'm sure she is just feeling lonely and discouraged right now. Long distance relationships are very difficult. She needs some reassurance that there is a chance that you will be together. She is probably beginning to feel like she is wasting her time. Show her you love her!! Make that step and take the chance. If it doesn't work, you can always move back. If you don't at least try, you will regret it.

Good luck to you!

Answer 6

I wouldn't say that you have been slow to act, you have been together only a year which is long enough to know your feelings but maybe not enough to take such a big chance .the only person who can decide is you but if you are in debt and your move is because of her alone it is understandable that you are having doubts, it could be the best thing you have ever done you will have to decide whether it is worth the risk

Answer 7

A few months ago I was at the EXACT point that you are. I was seeing someone that was 9hrs away. We talked ALL the time, I went there, she came here; things were almost identical to your situation. I have a job here that I absolutely HATE - but make really good $$$$ and it is super secure w/great benefits. My friends, family and all I know is here. And yet I was more than willing/ready to give it all up because I KNEW that she was 'the one'. Unfortunately, things changed on her end and I won't be moving. But ask yourself what is truly more important - $$$$? or love and the life you could have ?

I know what my answer was.........

Answer 8

if you love her and want to be with her then everything else will fall into place make the move.. 5 hours isnt that big a deal. my brother is moving halfway across the country next week for his gf and giving up his friends and family just to make it work.. so if you love her you will make it work regardless of the money situation you can find a job anywhere doing anything and if you get married then you can move wherever TOGETHER. so dont blow it just because youre afraid. you will regret it and sounds like you already do so dont let her get away

Answer 9

Well in my experience if you need to take a "break" in the relationship. The relationship will never be back to where it was prior to the break. I'm not saying it can't happen but things are never the same after a "break". So unless you want to move there for yourself, I would not move there for her. Chances are your relationship will not work out. Personally I would just end it and move on with my life. But thats the tough decision you will have to make.

Answer 10

If the break was only a few days long, there is no reason she should be hesitant now unless she realized that she is looking forward to being single again. HAve a long talk with her and figure out if she is committed until you make this move.

Answer 11

It sounds like to me when you guys took your break she got to thinking about alot of stuff. Maybe she saw other people and found someone! Maybe she is afraid you won't want to do it cause it took a while! Just talk to her about it, ask her if she really wants you to move....there's no point in doing it if she is going to be hesitant about it! Why give up your life to find out she doesn't want you in hers? My advice is to talk to her. Let you know how you feel, find out what she feels, and go from there! If you think she is worth giving your life up where you have been then do it and pray to God she feels the same way. Cause if not your gonna be left with nothing!