I need your input please...?

Question

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Sieghan (my 5 year old) is a very bright child... he was totally potty trained at 2 years old. (well, except being night trained.. we are working on that one believe it or not. it is a hard one because he sleeps so deep) anyway, since begining school he has come home with his pants wet three times. I asked him... what happened? "I peed my pants and i am sorry" why did you pee your pants Sieghan? "i raise my hand but the teacher never answers me and if i talk i get my clip moved, finally i cant hold it anymore so i accidentally go in my pants" this ticks me off!! i mean Gosh if the kid has to pee he cant tell her? she says .. Silent hands raised in my class... we do not raise our hands and speak out" but, but he has to pee????????? am i wrong here???? also, if he is wetting his pants, doesnt she notice? i mean he comes home and they are SOAKED i see it the second he gets off the bus. she cant see this?????
and if she does see it is she just ignoring it???

Answer 1

I'd be very unhappy! Making a child this age "hold it" for any length of time could cause bladder infections, among other things! He could end up in the hospital...and the teacher should be well aware of this! I'd definitely do something, call the school and make them listen to you!

Answer 2

Sometimes when kids your son's age get busy playing and stuff, they don't pay attention to having to go to the bathroom. I have a 5 1/2 year old and she gets so busy playing sometimes that she will wet her underwear. It isn't a huge amount, but never-the-less she still does it.

Also, I do feel like the teacher shouldn't keep your child from being able to go to the bathroom. I feel it is wrong for the teacher to let him wait because he didn't properly raise his hand and ask right. What if your child had urinary problems or something like that? That would be horrible if the teacher said, "Well, I'm sorry to hear you have problems with your urinary tract, but unless you raise your hand and don't say anything, I will not let you go to the bathroom. " That is ridiculous. Also, when he wets his pants she should call you so you can bring him another pair instead of her making him sit in them all day. That is wrong.

I would talk to the teacher about it. In my opinion, there is no reason for anyone to let a child just wet himself and not do anything about it.

Answer 3

Call a confrence between you, the teacher and the principal. That is wrong that she doesnt hear him, that is wrong that she cant see his pants wet. Do they not take regular bathroom breaks? Maybe that is something they should do. My son is in pre-k half day and they go before they get into class (they meet in the gym at first) and then also go in the middle of class to. He is only there 2 hours and 45 mins which makes 2 bathroom breaks perfect for 4 and 5 year olds

Answer 4

We had this happen last year with my son. he was raising his hand quietly and sometimes, if he didn't get the teacher's attention in time, he would wet his pants.
Then he would be sent to the nurse to change. After a while they just asked me to send in clothes.
I had a talk with my son first and he told me this, that he didn't get permission to go from the teacher, and he couldn't hold it any longer (he was five when he started, turned 6 last January). I asked him "what do the other kids do" and he told me they just go when they have to. I told him he should try that, if he could not get the teacher's attention when he raised his hand. And then I talked to the teacher, and she agreed too, that he doesn't need to wait, and that she didn't make kids wait, they could just use the bathroom when they have to and only get reprimanded if they are not quiet in the bathroom (which I knew was not a problem for my son)
The teacher actually felt very bad about this and wanted my son to just get up and go! (but I think he was afraid he might miss something)
I think in your case, the teacher should be more attentive. I know in ours, the school nurse was a little snippy at times, but she got over it once we started sending in our own clothes.
I would talk to my son every time it happened, and it just seems like he was very concerned about doing what he was supposed to be doing and didn't want to miss anything or upset the teacher. (even though he had a really great teacher, very kind and helpful)
But if I were you I would talk to the teacher. I would send in extra clothes "just in case" (but not with your son, you don't want him to think you expect an accident , drop them off while he is in class) with plastic bags for the dirty clothing to be sent home to wash. I would also insist that she not make your son wait while he raises his hand, since she has failed to acknowledge the request in the past so many times!
It is very irresponsible of the teacher to let him go through the day with wet pants! If it doesn't get resolved after your talk with her, I would go to the principal and then the superintendent.

Answer 5

Your son should have learned by now to feel the stretch reflex that the bladder gives when the first sign of urination is prevalent, so that he has PLENTY of time to raise his hand, and ask to go to the toilet. I don't have all the the facts, obviously, and since you are not in class either, neither do you. That being said, it is in my opinion that your son is ticked off with his low level of control of his abilities to get up to go the the toilet and thus wets himself to give inconvenience to the classroom. The teacher has decided that his poor choice will not affect the classroom and thus allowed him to live with his consequences. I know as a mom you feel as if your son deserves more understanding, and care- but early training is paramount.

I hope I have brought some understanding from the other side, however I may have just offended you. Not sure how you will accept this information.

Answer 6

Talk to the teacher. See what she says. Often times, kids are not telling exact truths. If he is telling you the truth..then she may not be aware that she is not calling on him. Ask if they give group bathroom breaks. If so, tell him that he has to go during those times. If you get resistance from the teacher..or things continue after you talk with her..talk to the principal. Also..you could try pull ups or something to keep him dry in the meantime. This might be an issue if the other kids find out though. Although..anything would be better than having him wet all day. Good luck.

Answer 7

It is extremely common for children in their first year of school (usually kindergarten in the US) to have bathroom accidents. It also happens in first grade as well. Speak privately with your son's teacher about the bathroom procedures she has for the classroom. Sometimes children misunderstand directions. Before making any assumptions in this situation get all the facts first. It may be possible that your son is not peeing in school, but on the bus ride home so the teacher is not aware of the problem. You and your son's teachers must be partners in your son's education. Do not approach her with accusations, but explain your concern and find out what can be done to alleviate this problem. In our school, it is highly recommended that all kindergartners keep a Ziploc bag in their back pack with an extra pair of underwear, pants and socks. Our kindergarten teachers are quite sensitive to the fact that this happens often and help the students to quietly get their extra clothes and get to the bathroom to change. Make a phone call to the teacher and see what she has to say before jumping to any conclusions.

Answer 8

You should have a meeting with the teacher, the principal (her boss), and the school counselor all at the same time about this issue. That way everyone knows what's going on and why. You can set up the appointment with all three directly thru the school principal. I actually had to do this last year because of some inappropriate dealings between the teacher and my son. It worked out great because everyone knew exactly what the problem was, what I expected, and the teacher couldn't b.s. her way out of it because everyone was present. Don't let your little boy come home again with wet pants because of his teacher being unreasonable and unsympathetic.

Answer 9

Ask to sit in the classroom and watch the interaction between your son and teacher. See how often he asks to go to the bathroom. If you feel she is not doing right by your child talk to her after school. If you get no satisfaction then talk to the principal.
You can also buy those big boy pants for kids that wet their bed at night. He can wear them during the day too so at least he wont' have wet pants at school. That's not fun :(

Answer 10

I know this isn't what you are going to want to hear but having worked in a Kindergarten classroom I have had a lot of experience with this problem. There are specific times of day that kids are expected to use the bathroom. They are numerous and the kids are SUPPOSED to go. If they don't then the teacher is stuck with 24 kids asking to go every 5 minutes. This is very disruptive. You are thinking of it in terms of JUST your child, but if everyone in class does this all day it will consume all the teachers time. You should encourage him to go when he has the chance.