I havent had sex with my girlfriend yet.........i actually have never had sex b4 so it'll be my first time(and yes im old enough, im 29. long story as to why ive never did the deed). But she said to me the other nite that she expects me to wear a condom. And she said it in a way that it wasnt even up for debate. I dont want my first time to be wearing a piece of rubber. Ive been told that sex is crap with a condom and it can actually be uncomfortable. She has had sex b4 and i know for a fact that she didnt make her last boyfriend wear a condom. She was taking the pill. So i wanna know why shes making me wear a condom and she dint make him wear one? I know it seems childish but i just need to kow why? Should i ask this question or should i keep it shut? Do i have a right to know?
2006-11-17 00:41:27 · 12 answers · asked by macmurphy45 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Shes not taking the pill now
2006-11-17 00:49:16 · update #1
Yes she knows ive never had sex...and no im not desperate, thanks
2006-11-17 00:54:56 · update #2
I think you do have a right to know. I also think she has the right to decide whether she wants you to wear one or not. But I think that people should be open in a relationship so she should at least be able to tell you why she wants you to wear one. I mean it's a long term relationship right? So you should just calmly ask her why she didn't wear a condom with her last boyfriend? Do you know for a fact that she is still on the pill? Just try and talk with her calmy about this. This should help. Don't sound accusing, just sound curious.
Yes, I disagree with the first person who commented, because I feel that if you are in a committed relationship, there shouldn't be any secrets. People should be able to talk about anything. And if you were to not ask her about this, feelings of resentment may build up as to why she didn't use a condom with her last boyfriend, but she DID with you. Communication is the key to any relationship and people must be open and honest with their feelings. Tell her how you are feeling about this.
2006-11-17 00:47:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you dont have a right to know this was in her past. She was on the pill then and maybe she isnt now or she has switched the type of pill she was on and you need to wear a condom. You are a mature man so you know you cant base your relationship on things that she did with her ex. You are right that is being childish and so is your reason for not wanting to wear a condom. Right now you are going on what other people have told you about sex. You dont have any real experience so you dont know if it will feel like crap. This is your first time so I am sure with or without a condom it will be memorable.
2006-11-17 00:53:07 · answer #2 · answered by justturning40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 She is 100% right to request that you wear a condom.
#2 It is perfectly fine for you to ask why she didn't "make" the last guy wear one.
#3 Likely as not, she will say that at first she made him wear one.
#4 You're a 29 year old virgin and you have "heard" that sex isn't as good with a rubber????? Be thankful that you have a girlfriend who isn't freaked about the fact that you have never "did the deed" and who is patient enough to go through this process with you.
After you have earned the trust of one another, after you both go to the doctor and have STD testing, after you commit to an exclusive relationship, then you can forego the rubber.
But a bunch of different kinds and try them on for comfort so when the big event finally happens you are wearing one that is the most comfy. Be thankful for what you are getting instead of wishing for what you can't have.
2006-11-17 00:50:40 · answer #3 · answered by ssssss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has a right to demand you wear a condom. You have the right to refuse..but then she'll probably not do the deed with you. You could ask her nicely why she is so adamant about it...but her answer probably wont make a difference. Sex isn't as good with a condom..but it's better than no sex. Good luck.
2006-11-17 00:48:47 · answer #4 · answered by trevnme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to end up being a Daddy after your first time I'd wear a condom and get over it. She is no longer on the pill so she is being smart and adult about it to protect herself. I'd say if you want to have a first time, wear a condom.
2006-11-17 00:52:25 · answer #5 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares why.You should use one if you don't want to catch any STD's,or even aids.Also if you don't want to make a baby.Maybe she didn't make her last boyfriend wear one because she didn't know about all of the dangers of unprotected sex or didn't care but now does.Don't start your life of sex on the wrong foot,your first time could be your last.
2006-11-17 00:54:36 · answer #6 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 29, you should probably take what you can get bud :) Sex does not suck with a condom anyway! Does she know your a virgin?
2006-11-17 00:51:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has been with others WARE THE CONDOM there are STD'S(sexually transmitted diseases) and more often than not there are no signs plus some of them can kill you. (aids & syhlis ) plus there are ones that there are no cure for ( HERPIES) are jsut a few examples Plus birth contol is not full proof.
2006-11-17 00:54:51 · answer #8 · answered by anita_reel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk to her and tell her that you will put a condom on before you *** in her that way she won't get pregnant and maybe that is all she is worried about unless she has a disease that she don't want to give to you and that is her way of saying protect yourself
2006-11-17 00:48:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she wants to try something differnt. Tell her you don't feel comfortable with rubber.
2006-11-17 00:47:30 · answer #10 · answered by Allie loves Nick J. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋