What to do with my stubborn dad?

Question

My dad has some strange skin problem that reoccurs every winter. Rash (and lots of it) appears on his entire upper body, back, front, kneck, arms... Doctor prescribed some strong medicine cream to apply but doesn't seem so useful. His rash continued until spring or summer.

He keeps saying when he goes outside he feel comfortable so it MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST because of the heat, but we have set the temp to 19C and the heater rarely runs (and we all feel cold). If the room temp goes up to 20C, he will starting scolding with really hash words and insist we have to turn the temp down to make him comfortable (how? turn on A/C in winter?)

Then my sis remember our family doc says it might have been because of the dry air. So we bought a humidifier (well, we mentioned that in conversation and then he insisted we had to buy it to give him a try).

And the worst part is he insisted the humidifier must run until the humidstat says 70% and AUTOMATICALLY switch off at ...

that point. But all of the humidifers we look at only operate automatically in 30%-65% range.

We are trying to tell him not to let it run because 70% is too humid (without it, the room was 55%-60%) and will cause mold, baterial build up. But he's extremely stubborn, saying this machine helps him sleep better at night and that's the only thing he cares about now. He says we never consider his current illness and always worry about some long term health caused by high humid. "I will have been dead before that happens" is his words.

He said his kneck feel hot whenever he is home, and (don't know whom he listens to) that's because the heat is trapped in the air and in his body and there's no where to go unless he sweats... (yes, the room temp is 19C, and he wants it down and wants to sweat and still wear sweater to sleep, pls don't laugh)

And he keeps saying I never showed up how to set the humidifier to automatically runs until 70% then turn off.

HELP HELP HELP !!!

Answer 1

Your dad does sound stubborn. But part of the healing process is being positive about one's disease and believing in the treatment, as clichee as it may sound. If your dad insists that it must be cold and the humidifier run at 70%, then let it be so. As long as he thinks it's helping, then let him have his way. However, if this continues for 2 months and there's still no sign of his skin disease getting better, I think it would be fair for all of you to stop the humidifier and find an agreeable room temperature for everyone.
Make it clear to him that although everyone wants him to get better, he is not making it easy for the family to live with him. Tell him that you don't want him to be stressed all the time, but that he is impossible to be around. Tell him you all are on his side, but you must find compromises in order for you guys to support him. Tell him that although everyone knows he is sick, he can't get everything his way. He has to understand that people who love him and want to help him are living in the same household and would like to support him, but he must also acknowledge their preferences.
Maybe you could have the humidifier and room temperature set to his needs in a specific room designated for all of this, like his bedroom.

Don't put pressure on him by blaming him for the fact that everyone's unhappy. Don't give him the feeling that it's his fault that everyone is miserable (although it may be true). He can't help being sick, but he could definitely work on being more understand toward everyone else's needs, just as you guys are understanding towards his.

Answer 2

You know what? Sit down with your dad and find out his reasons why he is so stubborn about not having a dog right now. Here's the problem with convincing him. That's only the first step. When I was younger, I REALLY wanted a dog and my dad was reluctant to let me have one. So, I begged and begged. However, the dog was a point of tension and stress in our household because he didn't want to have one in the first place. We had to get rid of the dog. A little patience pays off sometimes. It's easier to just not have a dog and wait until your dad decides he wants one or until you're old enough to get it on your own than to get one and have to give it away later. You know what else you can do? Do what a boy in my neighborhood did. His parents wouldn't let him have a dog. So, he started a dog walking business! It was great for the neighborhood and gave him a chance to bond with dogs even though he couldn't have his own dog.

Answer 3

tell your dad to stop being a donkeys butt and go to a dermatological specialist. or an allergist.
there might be something in the detergent that you all use. tell him to throw out his old mattress and get a new one. does he bath regularly and use fragrance free moisturizers??
you can't all be expected to freeze to death because of this.
it's a good thing you have it that cold though with the humidity that high.
and your dad is wrong. molds and bacteria grow VERY quickly. if he keeps up with humidity like that 'even' with the cold, mildew and mold are probably ALREADY growing in your house.

i don't know what you are going to tell your stubborn dad but i wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

It sounds like your dad has eczyma. It is a skin condition that can be brought on by pretty much anything. My sister has eczyma on her wrists and behind her knees. She gets it when she sweats.
Your dad should see a dermatologist. It could be an allergy or something dangerous.