I'm in my 20s and my girlfriend and I have been going out for four years, living on opposite sides of the Atlantic. We love each other a lot, write regularly and IM nearly every other day. She doesn't want to commit to anything because of the distance, and she says we should date other people casually. I'm finding this hard to accept because I am certain of how I feel about her and I don't want to date anybody else, even though I rarely see her. I just found out that she went on a date with someone recently and it hurts. Part of me knows she's being practical and sensible, since we're both fairly young and live in different places, but it still hurts that she isn't as sure of her feelings for me as I am of my feelings for her. I've never been this close to someone before and I'm afraid of losing her and hurting both of us if I do the wrong thing. What should I do?
2006-11-17 00:05:31 · 24 answers · asked by Jeroboam 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Can i date her
2006-11-17 00:09:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't healthy to be so attached to another person. There is nothing you can do to make her feel exactly the same way you feel. I, personally, think she is gently trying to end the relationship because of the long distance. Go on a date with someone else even though you don't feel like it. Do it with an open mind and you'll be surprised at what fun you'll have - then you won't be so dependent on your current girlfriend. I think she is a really good person to be handling it this way. I'm truly sorry you are hurting, but if you go out on a date, it will definitely help. Good luck to you!
2006-11-17 00:16:38 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. G. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahh, now, I know how that feels like. Maybe you should tell her your side as well, how much it hurts you and how this will help the relationship (?) cause you can say that you love her too much and you don't wanna potentially ruin this..etc, etc. If she still wanna give it a go, then I guess you have to yield. It seems unfair but maybe she's too lonely and misses you a lot. The best way to compromise is SET BOUNDARIES. This time, she must comply. Like, maybe you can date but no kissing or you can date the same person but not more than three times...whatever you like. Just try to meet in the middle on this one to be fair.
2006-11-17 00:18:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Face it my friend. She wants to date others because she is already dating. You can tell yourself over and over that she's not. But I promise you she is. You cant expect her to just sit around and wait on you. Women have needs and wants, and she cant fulfill them with you when your an ocean apart. So now you have only 2 choices... Get a paddle boat and start paddling your *** off, or forget about her and move on. Their is no option 3. If you really love her then I would go with choice # 1 I'm sure you know what the right to do is,,, Good luck
2006-11-17 00:37:16 · answer #4 · answered by highrange101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." Letting go is not easy, but it is the best thing you can do to test just how strong of a relationship you and your girlfriend really have. Just be totally honest with her; communication will offer some sort of closure in the event she should chose to go her own way. You will lose her if you don't respect the fact that she needs to spread her wings to be sure of things.
2006-11-17 00:18:48 · answer #5 · answered by tramps3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must come to terms and realize that your girlfriend has decided to see other people. I know it hurts but life teach all of us lessons of love and in your case you just finished life #101. Give yourself time to heal and remember not to hold any grudges just remember how special you are. Reason why, because its hard finding a nice guy that just want to be with 1 girl. Keep your head up and realize that you're going to make it.
2006-11-17 03:00:02 · answer #6 · answered by pradavee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Move to where she is so geography is no longer an issue.
2. Get real and date some other people like she did.
3. She obviously likes some other people, she is trying to push you away so she can allow her feelings for others to develop.
Pick one and stick to your guns. Being wishy washy really is not that impressive with a woman.
2006-11-17 00:12:25 · answer #7 · answered by Satsune 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, because you are both at seperate places, you cannot refrain her from doing what she wants t6o do afterall she could have cheated on you behind your back but instead she chose to tell you. At least, it counts for something. I know you must be hurt but as they say, love hurts. Whatever the case, if both of you were meant to be, you both will be.
2006-11-17 00:16:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her, give the space she is asking for. Love should always be voluntary. Let her be. She is still not sure of her feelings. When she will be, I am certain, she will realize she wants to be with you more than anything else.
2006-11-17 00:18:24 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should think on it a little more. distance can make or break a relationship. if you are really hurt then you should tell her. tell her your fears. maybe she'll see that your really in this for the long run.
if you disagree maybe you should look into closing the distance or maybe really ust moving on.
if your meant to be then you'll be. your relationship should be the perfect relationship for both of you. not just one.
2006-11-17 00:13:17 · answer #10 · answered by erin_patrice05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋