I have been spending time with my dad for the first time in about 16 years, I just met him recently and I keep getting in awkward positions where I have to call him something. I still haven't called him Dad...so when is the best time to? Keep in mind that he hasn't called me by my name just yet either.
2006-11-17 00:04:50 · 15 answers · asked by blinkcharlotte 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just let the relationship between you and him unfold naturally. In due time you will know if you want to call him Dad or not. It wouldnt be disrespectful if you never call him Dad considering he wasnt there for you all this time. Just play it by ear and listen to your heart......you will know when and if you want to do this, but i am glad the two of you are working on a relationship
2006-11-17 01:38:24 · answer #1 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In a sense,i can understand the awkard feeling. But as time passes you will bound to call him dad purposedly or not. The main point is that whether you love your dad enough to call him dad. Because if you are still unsure than keep spending time with him and sooner or later it will come out of your mouth and the both of you will start to smile and you would feel shy but you will feel great after years,you are finally able to say the word dad to a r eal person.
2006-11-17 08:16:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just use his first name for now and with time and getting to know each other the appropriate time for calling him dad will come. Remember u are still strangers to a certain degree so u would not call a stranger dad give it time and when u are ready to trust him again daddy will smile as well as you
2006-11-17 09:39:47 · answer #3 · answered by bridgettemarie123@yahoo.com 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take your time, don't rush yourself. You will know when you are comfortable enough with him. I think it's great that you have the opportunity to get to know your Dad. My biological father left when I was 2 yrs old and I've never heard from him again. I consider my step father to be my Dad. Enjoy your time together and do what you feel is right for you in your own time.
2006-11-17 08:25:23 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to call him Dad right now or ever if you don't want to. I met my real father when I was a little girl. Me and my brother never called him Dad. We just stuck to calling him by his real name. He didn't mind this, and he didn't expect us to call him Dad, and we were way younger then you are right now. I think you should wait until you two are really close and if you feel like at that point that you want to call him Dad, then let it out. Otherwise, don't worry yourself right now with it. Just concentrate on building a solid relationship with him right now to make up for lost time. Everything else will fall into place when it needs to. Take care!
2006-11-17 08:16:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
When you feel most comfortable with him. He is feeling akward too so just remember what he must be going through. when you get to know him better and feel asthough you are close that is a good time. when you feel he is really your 'dad'. You might take a long time to get to know him at first but don't be shy to ask questions and get some info. And remember he probably wants to get to know you too. I'm sure he is a great guy and loves you lots even though it might not show!
2006-11-17 08:45:54 · answer #6 · answered by devltam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The thing is that you DONT have to call him "Dad" until you are comfortable, and if you never feel like calling him dad, then you never have to. What makes a dad a dad? Love, care, nurturing, teaching, playing, learning... these are all things we do as a child, if he wasn't there to do that, then that is probably why you dont feel comfortable with it. IT'S OK!
2006-11-17 08:47:41 · answer #7 · answered by Crzy Virgo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reconciliation is difficult after such a long time! I went through something similar with my own father. I hadn't spoken to him for 10 years. One day I was convicted to call him. I picked up the phone and called. A little girl answered the phone. (I later found out that she is my niece...I also hadn't spoke with my step-brother in 10 years)
I asked to speak with my dad and she asked who was calling. I said Heather. She hands the phone to my father and he snaps WHO IS THIS
I replied its Heather, your daughter. At first, his reaction was angry, he thought someone was playing a cruel joke, but that didn't last long. Now my father is never an emotional man. He just isn't, but he became emotional that day.
He had done wrong in our relationship, but so had I. When I first approached him, I humbled myself. I began with the apology. I gave a sincere apology for what I had done wrong. He forgave me, in his own way, saying "don't worry about that, it is over now" etc. And he followed suit with an apology.
The next step was going out to talk. We met and went out to dinner, we spent hours talking, and not so much about what happened in the past, but instead about what we had missed out on in the 10 years that passed. I shared pictures, and told him he had 2 grandchildren. etc...
In our situation, I came into it forgiving, and humble. I didn't accuse him, and that helped him not to feel threatened. He wasn't defensive, because I never mentioned the situation that caused our separation. There is no need to it is over now, and cannot be changed. The only reason I was able to do that was because in my heart I had forgiven him.
Because we didn't drudge up old skeletons, we were able to begin to mend our relationship. I could never have initiated contact in the way that I did if I had not really forgiven him
As far as calling him Dad, for me, I just began doing that. Father, Dad, seemed more respectful than calling him by his first name. Our trouble was saying I love you to each other again. We both feel it, just have trouble saying it. So lately I have just been saying it, like when we are getting off the phone, I just say, " Bye dad, Love ya", And when we are leaving his home I will tell him I love him. Again, I had to be the one who initiated it, but he responds genuinely. Time will heal our relationship.
I don't really have advice for you, honestly every ones' situation is different, but I hope you will consider my story, and maybe come up with some answers on your own.
It is so important to heal relationships. Even our healing relationship is better than none. Don't be so prideful that you won't take the first step. Had I not reconciled with him when I did, I would not have been able to see my brother again. I stayed away from my brother, because I disconnected from "that side of the family" About a 1 1/2 years after I began talking with them again, my brother died at age 33. I still have my deepest regrets about the time we missed, but thankfully I did have some time with him again before he died. I would have had so much more time with him, had I swallowed my pride earlier.
Hope my story helps you in some way,
Blessings,
Heather
2006-11-17 09:52:34 · answer #8 · answered by heatherphipps2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well call him dad when you feel comfortable it'll come to you when the time is right just don't blurt it out make sure when you say it you mean it it could be tommorrow it may be 2 months from now but it'll happen
2006-11-17 10:41:09 · answer #9 · answered by prty grl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why du want to call him dad? why dont u call him by his name? for last 16 yrs u haven't done that so why now? This dad business will make u naturally awkward. Go to him , talk and get to know him.. then u think what to call him.. it will happen naturally..
2006-11-17 08:14:01 · answer #10 · answered by adventurous 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋