Muslim women..?

Question

Do you really get treated as poorly by your husbands as it keeps being portrayed? If so, why do you not speak out against it? Do you feel like you are treated like you should be? Please do not be offended, I am simply curious as to how your religion views the marriage and a womans role in general. Salaam.

Wow this is certainly different than how it is said to be. I am greatly pleased to hear how many of you are treated so very well and lovingly! And yes, Swan I was an abused wife at one time. I am no longer married to him and I am sure you were being small minded and mean but I hope you are never treated like that.

I have one complete outfit with the Hijab (which I cannot get the hang of putting on correctly (LOL). It is extremely long and I guess I am just uncoordinated. But I wear the outfit out sometimes. I only where it to special places though because the fabric is so delicate and beautiful, my husband loves it.

I would be honored for any of you, including swan to be my friend and read my 360 or email me or whatever.

Thank you for your answers and your thoughfulness and not getting angry at my ignorance of the truth of your religion. Insh'Allah!

Answer 1

I am treated like a pricess read my blog to get details....

But here is a bit about how MY HUSBAND TREATS ME:

Well I have the perfect husband for me, so I just expect him to keep doing what he is doing! :) We follow Allah and our prophet's teachings (PBUH) and he treats me like a princess.

These are just a few of the things I expected from my Husband and Elhamdulillah he does for me:

0- Be thankful to God because he is married and happy LOL
1- Ensure a decent standard of living for Wife and children
2- Throw out the trash
3- Lift the heavy things
4- Deal with his wife justly in all matters .
5- Husband as much as the wife should be knowledgeable in religious matters to educate their kids.
6- He must never ever divulge the secrets of the household and those of the married couple
7- Complete trust in his wife
8- He must be patient and forgiving. He must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice in every situation.
9- Protect the honor of his wife and be truthful at all times.
10- The wife must be treated as the queen of the house!
11- He must not dwell on what he dislikes in his wife, but on what he likes.
12- Not abuse his wife (verbally or physically) A wife must be treated as a rose
13- Care for the children and their up bringing and support his wife in this manner
14- Jointly setup rules for the children and the overall house management.
15- He must treat her generously at all times.
16- He must respect her and pay attention to her needs so that she will respect him and pay attention to his.
17- Keep his promises and is a good teacher!
18- Attributes: Pious, Truthful, good leader, good suporter, Just, Fair, Love his children, love his wife, kind, considerate, chaste, good morals, Trustworthy, reliable, avoids quarrelling, avoids beating, cleanliness habits, strength in mind and will, gentle, generous, loving, Great sense of humor, resonable, intelligent,serious when needed.

I really believe that a good husband is a precious Gem and that a good wife is as well.
In Islam we have very defined roles we are told marry because your wife, husband is the other half of your religion. We have examples on how to resolve issues and lots and lots of advice LOL. My list is not complete, but hopefully it encompasses some of my thoughts regarding my expectation from my husband. I love him dearly and we have such mutual respect and understanding that says it all. But our biggest and most precious gift is that we are both believers in Allah and that we love and fear Allah.

Answer 2

First, I want to say thank you for asking this question. Stereotypes are one of the problems that make world peace unattainable. I have certainly become more informed by reading these responses.

In my opinion, many social, cultural, and ethnic groups have this stereotype attached to them. But the truth is, it really depends on the people involved. No particular group is partial to a certain bad trait, and domestic abuse occurs in homes across the board, regardless of creed.

However, in America there is a stigma attached to anything associated with Islam and the middle east. There shouldn't be, and we should continue to eliminate stereotyping by building bridges between opposing cultures.

Answer 3

If i didn't know you were really speaking out of desire to learn, i would probably bash you LOL.

Here's my case, dear:

I woke up this morning and found a little note saying ''You are my rose.'' How many husbands, regardless of their religion, still cherrish the romantic side of their marriage? Mine does, Alhamdo Lellah.

I started wearing hejab with my own free will - yes, he was very happy about it, just like i was and still am. How many husbands, regardless of their religion, wouldn't be proud to have a pious and modest wife, not showing herself vulgarly to everyone lese? Mine is, Alhamdo Lellah.

I have my own business and keep the income to myself LOL. He's the breadwinner of our family.How many husbands, regardless of their religion, let their wives keep it all for themselves? Mine does, Alhamdo Lellah.

He helps me with household duties, and often, when i'm busy with some semminars, i come home and find dinner already made and served. How many husbands, regardless of their religion, clean and cook to make it easier for their wives? Mine does, Alhamdo Lellah.

He is always there for me, always the first person to know if i've cut my finger, he's my best friend, a wonderful mate, a great lover, a person made for intelligent conversation, has a fabulous sense of humour ............. and he's mine!!! Alhamdo Lellah!!!

yes, i know u were referring to what u've heard and seen on TV, but u really have to understand that those cases of domestic violence and religious imposement happen ONLY in tribes where the rate of educated people is below 5%. I would really like you to change your opinion about us, muslim women - we are not sex objects, we are not birth giving machines, we are not maids, we are not dummies .......... we are intelligent beings, delicate in nature - and thus worth all the respect and attention we get from our husbands.

peace and blessings :)

EDIT: by the way, i took the liberty of adding u as a friend yesterday. hope u don't mind :)

Answer 4

On a whole my husband is pretty good to me. He has never hit me and when he got mad enough to he would leave. Yes we have our problems but what married couple doesn't. We fight over the same things married couple from all religions fight about such as money, kids, time, leaving the toilet seat up, ect.....

But to be honest some women are not treated like Islam says they are to be treated. Or they use the religion to justify what they do. Women have rights in Islam that keep her protected from this, but it is man who takes that away from her not Islam.

A good Muslim man will treat his wife well. The Prophet(peace be upon him) said the best of men are the ones who are best to their wives.

Answer 5

Salam,
the media always show Muslim women as poor ignorant .. etc

ITS ALL LIES

I'll speak about my self and my family

I'm not married I'm student in collage well educated I speak English, Arabic and little french, I have a car lol

I have my own opinion and views

I have the right to pick my future husband NO ONE CAN FORCE U TO MARRY SOMEONE U DON'T LIKE

my mom is an highly educated woman, she's a writer, my dad loves her and treat her very nicely and they love each other

we live in very loving family and most of the people in my country live like us (no crimes, no killing each other).

girls here are very educated, work in every place (doctors, teachers, business women.. etc)

guys here respect girls and "mostly" look at them as sisters not as a body or to have "sex".

most of us wear Hijab (head cover) its OUR choice not forced to wear it.
there are some don't wear it and its their choice also.

hope this help

Answer 6

I think the question you should ask is not if their men treat them well. it is Human nature to be a good person. Ask what there religion says about woman? I have a Quran here It is a bit on both sides when I read it. Beet them, love them. But just because a book says beet someone dose not mean they will. I'm sure Christian men beat there wife's as well. It is the hate of the man and not of the book in the end. but does the book say it is OK?

Answer 7

Islam says a man may not harm his wife. He is allowed to marry up to four, but the very next verse after that tells him to marry just one becuase he is not even able to do justice to the one. There are good and bad men in every culture. The "muslim" men you refer to are not acting islamically. If they were ,women would be just as much a part of society as the men are. The men would be helping with the housework and cooking. They would not be demanding things left and right, but serving themselves. Women would not be forced to cook and clean constantly. It's not a woman's duty to do that, her only duty is to her children. The verse that permits beating was translated by an english speaking male, and everywhere else this word is used in the Quran it means to separate from or to leave from. I don't know how this man suddenly changed it, because in Arabic it's not the meaning. Muslim men are portrayed so violently, but it's just not the case. Did you know that a muslim man must help his wife when she requests him to, or he must get her a maid to help? My husband is from Pakistan, and everywhere there, in each house, there is a servant helping out. The servants do the dishes and the laundry, well, basically everything except cooking. For every occasion, women go shopping for new dresses and new jewelry. I have 21 kt gold jewelry sets from going to many different weddings when I have been there. Women are given clothing all of the time, nice stuff and in fashion stuff. I have my own vehicle and I go out as I please.

The "men" who have the need to oppress their wives are only cowards. The "men" who deny their wives education are being completely unislamic. In Islam, a woman is commanded to get the highest education possible, and her husband must help her if she needs it. In regards to children, they must obey their mother first and in the case of divorce, she gets first custody of them. THe father comes fourth in line after all possible blood related female members of her family are exhausted. Even after divorce, the father must support the ex wife and the children.

If you read the Quran, you will see it saying in many places to not harm your wives. As for the property thing, look at it this way. A woman can work and do with her earnings as she so chooses. Her husband is solely responsible for all finances. The reason awoman gets half of what a man gets is because she can do what she wants to with it. He must support his entire family and all female members of it, so he needs more. She can go shopping or do whatever. The only reason a woman would be angry about this if she is greedy. A woman who thinks about her family and the needs of her family has no problem with her husband getting more to support her and the children.

Answer 8

I'm not married(not yet).........but my parents are quite peaceful.they hardly ever fight.....and i haven't met any Muslim couples who've had troubles like the ones I've read abt in the news.....it's the media ,u know......they portray us Muslim women as some helpless dumb creatures who need to be 'liberated' from their 'cruel' lives......as if we cannot think and speak for ourselves.......(well why wud we have to , when they do all the talking for us........aren't they just a 'great help'?{sarcastic}) Moreover family fights occur in every region, religion and race.........In Fact Muslims shd have less rates of domestic violence Cos we are strictly forbidden frm drinking alcohol and other stuff............

Answer 9

There are some cultures and traditions where this more to be seen but the vast majority are not treated like that as Islam gives equal rights to men and women.

Answer 10

Have wondered this myself and I think the answer is that they probbably get treated very well overall and it is just a bunch of radical, women who value careers and power over family (lives of fetuses) and thereby ruin whole countrys, that spread the word like is the general impression in the west. I will be watching to see though if they answer.