My son is 22 months now...?

Question

He has been taken care by my mum since his birth while I was working. Due to the shift about the job I am working currently. I don't take him home and we get to see each other only once a week whereby I will visit him at my mum's house. We don't have much bonding and he is not close to me at all. By the next two years, I intended and planned to be a full time mum at home. I decided to take him back home by then as I will enrol him into a nursery school. Would he be close to me by then? Should I worry that we don't have a tight bonding now
?

Answer 1

Get closer to him. Sooner the better it is. Anyway, you have to reregister the bond of love

Answer 2

Having a bond with the child is the most important thing to me. Making money to provide for that child is critical as well. In my opinion, I feel that a person should put their child first. And what I mean is that you can always find another job, but bonding is something that shouldn't be put on the backburner. By all means though, sooner is better than later. You say you intended and you planned and right after that you said nursery school. Do you want to bond with your child? If so, find ways to do that. Don't wait!

Answer 3

Why did you have your son if you were going to put your own needs before him? How can you justify leaving him with your mother to raise while you are working? Why not find a job that means you can have him at home? People manage everyday, and if you truly loved your son then from the start you would have done the right thing by HIM, not yourself. If you love him now then maybe you should think about his needs....how would you feel if you were him? If you love him then spend time with him, if it means being broke then at least you will be rich with love. If you want to be a stay at home mother then don't put a time limit on it. You can't take back time, and one day both of you will regret you decisions. I only hope your career is worth losing your son, because at the rate you are going you will have lost him.

For goodness do the right thing.

Answer 4

He has already bonded with her. Sorry. The first 2 years are critical. He will love you and know that you are mom. Do what you can to get close to him from here on out, but he will always share a "motherly" bond with your mum. Children don't go by our time lines. They come and develop when they do - that's it. What is keeping you from being home with him now? Can dad help provide income? You may have to cut back on spending on move to a cheaper home, but you have to weigh what is more important - your son or the money.

Answer 5

Don't worry, by the time you become a full-time mum, there will be sufficient time for bonding. From 0 to 3 years old, babies don't have much of a memory.

It is your maternal instinct that is causing you to worry about the lack of tight bonding. You have a good plan. Stick to it.

Answer 6

As long as he is bonding with someone, you or your mum...he should be ok.

I love my baby with every piece of my being and couldnt imagine not being able to see her. I work at night and my Dad and Mum watches my baby during the day so i can sleep but i still stop by so I can hold her before I go home.

As a parent it is important to bond with your child so do what you can and make sure that when you have time you make the best of it.

Answer 7

My friends son is also being raised by her mother. Her and her husband both work diffrent shifts and sleep on their off shifts so no sitter for him. He is a year old, a little over actually. I always thought this was a weird way to raise a kid because I would take a pay cut and diffrent job if i had to spend time with my kids, but it works well for some people.

I say just spend as much time with him as possible, and dont be uspet if he gets mad, rejects you or asks for his grandma. It will take some time to get used to having you around so much.

Answer 8

You should not worry because babies are able to distinguish between their parents and grandparents.
That is what happened with me. Until 10 years old I was living with my grandmother while my mother was working. And I used to see my father twice as rarely than my mother.
It was ok afterwards because my mother started spending the whole day with me.
Everything is alright as long as you spend time with the children. That`s why I became so close to my mum now! But my father haven`t changed his attitude since then and so I avoid contact with him because he simply doesn`t know how to behave to his daughter!

Answer 9

yes, you should. it doesn't matter how early you must get up, or how little sleep you get, you need to spend more time with your son. these are the bonding years. a human being can not be put on hold for when it is convenient for you. when you decide to be a mother, he may or may not be close to you. sounds like my sisters kid, same thing, and her son begged to live with grandma.

Answer 10

Kids have short memories, if you start taking care of him for 2 solid years he will still love your mum but you will be the one he turns to... but remember first borns aren't all cuddley and wanting
that closeness, its just the way they are. Second borns tend to lean towards that bonding stuff..

Answer 11

I think it is very important to remain bonded with your son at all times! What if he forgets that you are his mom and thinks grandma really is?? I would start taking him with you..away from your moms to spend time with him and forsurely keep spending time with him until you finally do get him fully! I only pray that he will still be close to you and not cry for grandma..