My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years and he has recently decided that he dosent want children. I however want like maybe 7 or 8. I have always known that he was the one for me, but I cant not have kids. I dont want to marry the wrong guy, but I dont want to waste my time either. Please give some adivce. Hes 19 Im 18. I know were young.
2006-11-16 20:47:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I dont want to get married now and have kids (but in the future)
2006-11-16 21:03:16 · update #1
You said that you dont want to waste time with the wrong guy, sounds like you are a little to late. If he dosent want kids and you do staying with will only make things rough with you.
2006-11-16 20:53:38 · answer #1 · answered by NEED HELP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully, i don't consider he will trade, I mean this appears to be some thing you quite want and if the doesn't want it, which you can both reside with that, or transfer on, those are fairly your two alternatives. I mean, if he has dumped ladies earlier than for trying to marry him or have children, definitely this can be a dilemma for him. You must ask him why he feels this way, however you're getting out of your prime childbearing years, it's time to make some selections, if you are inclined to let this dream go to be with him, then do it, but if no longer it is time to transfer on.
2016-08-09 22:47:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are young but I was married at 19, if you feel he is the one for you , you certainly do have a problem, especially you wanting children while he does not. however at 19, he has time to change his mind, but are you prepared to wait to see if that is the case?Why don't youboth sit down and discuss this in depth, he may be afraid of the responsibility a child brings. perhaps he feels that 7/8 children you really want is over the top.I hope things work out for you, good luck.
2006-11-16 21:03:17 · answer #3 · answered by poetrygirl on line 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might change his mind when he becomes older. How you should react, for right now, should probably depend on the plans you have for a year or so. If you don't want to have kids until after college, in 4 or 5 years, then I'd say stick with him since he has already grown on you. If you were planning on starting a family immediately, or in the very near future, then perhaps you should let him know how seriously you desire children. Do not try to manipulate him, try to be honest with him, and chances are that if you do separate, it will go smoothly, and you may even be able to retain a friendship out of it (though sadly not as likely).
Best of luck.
2006-11-16 21:00:23 · answer #4 · answered by Absent Glare 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are both fairly young and you never know in a few years he may change his mind, and you might also change your mind and decide that you don't want 7 or 8.
However leave it for while and if you are still together in 5/6 years time and he still has the same view that he definitely doesn't want children and you do, well I think that you will have to split and find someone that wants the same thing as you.
2006-11-16 20:57:21 · answer #5 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your life has to be about what you like...no one else. A marriage partnership has to be for the benefit of both. I suggest that both of you sit down alone and compile exactly what it is you want out of a marriage and life in general. Then share your thoughts with each other. If either of you are asked to make sacrifices which will stifle you or cause you to not be happy, then you should think long and hard before you commit.
Remember this...more marriages end in divorce than stay together. It would be a shame to give up your desires for someone who may leave you and void your chances to achieve them. There is only one life (as we know it) and it is very short. You and only you has to be the master of your fate.
2006-11-16 21:10:25 · answer #6 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing has nothing to do with the other. If he doesn't want to have kids, enjoy the time you two have together and when you're ready to get married and settle down, tell him where your head is at that moment and let him decide what he wants to do about it. DO NOT marry someone with a different agenda, they will not change their minds!
2006-11-16 20:59:23 · answer #7 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's your heart's desire to have children, you should always make that clear, don't compromise if you haven't changed your mind.
You are young and he may change his mind, you may, too. Just don't ever force things by intentionally getting pregnant when he's dead set against it. It wouldn't be fair to the child.
Be aware that you may need to make some changes in the future to have your dream of being a Mom come true.
2006-11-16 20:58:23 · answer #8 · answered by Susan M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As you are both young you dont really need to worry yet. just enjoy having eachother to yourselves and have lots of fun before you think about having children.He may change his mind in the near future. If however he doesn't in say 5 years time. you will only be 23! plenty of time to find a new partner and have lot's of babies.
2006-11-16 21:11:39 · answer #9 · answered by lucy c 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't force him now. Just live with him a little longer.
He'll come to the age of realising that kids will help keep relationship much better.
And seriously, you two are too young! Don't rush into it, you still have heaps of time.
2006-11-16 20:58:12 · answer #10 · answered by James 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋