Hiya, I need some advice on a situation!,
I am in a relationship of 4 and a half years and really love the person im with, we very rarley argue, we like the same things, we go out and have fun together, ect ect ect, obviously we have been through alot together as that is along time..girls imaine thats you!!
i have been very understanding of bloke things, i dont mind if he has porno's, he (on occasions like birthdays) mite go to a strip club which im not too bothered about, but ive recently found he has been chatting to girls on the internet, i know this as i signed up as someone else and have been talking to him for a about a week!, how many of you would draw the line there, i dont know whats the best thing to do?, i love him and want to be with him, but i cant help but think if hes doing that what else is he doing, also i dont know what hes saying to other girls, what would you do, would there be any particular questions you would ask him as this "secret girl"....im realy stuck :-(
2006-11-16 20:35:53 · 17 answers · asked by misyid 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
...i also asked him what he is looking for on the site, and he said hes up for anything, so not sure if that means literally,he also has been answerin gal my questions openly, i asked him for pictures aswell and he said he will have them soon.., im also answering alot if intimate questions, he compliments me saying he wants me to feel nice, and what he likes to do for girls,etc do you think chatting more to see what he says would be best? thanks for all your answers really apreciate it, my biggest problem is that i have been dealing with it on my own, i dont want to tell friends and family because they will probably just hate him and im actually quite embarresd, this is why i have come for advice on the site,
Thanks again everyone.
2006-11-16 22:20:36 · update #1
As this "secret girl", ask him if he has someone special. I wouldn't be bothered if he's got this other side of him. But I'd draw the line when he starts meeting other girls from the internet you know. Go talk to him. If he's serious about you and your relationship, he'll lay off the "other stuff". It may be healthy for him but it sure is not relationship wise. Just talk to him about it. Goodluck.
2006-11-16 20:57:31 · answer #1 · answered by Mint 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move on! You are not stuck nor really stuck. You've gotten involved with someone who has "another side", a "private life". This other side will remain hidden even should you bring everything into the open and he promises to be a different man from this day forward.
1. The hidden life is almost always dark
2. The hidden life requires that he live a lie
3. The hidden life means you have a false relationship
4. Eventually what is hidden will show it's tail and you will be hurt
5. You cannot have a normal relationship, everything will be twisted.
I encourage you to be decisive and choose a better relationship. You've been naive. You can be a fool once, but hopefully, not twice.
2006-11-16 20:45:12 · answer #2 · answered by lindakflowers 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK, my boyfriend does this all the time, the same stuff you described. The pornos, the strip clubs, the chatting with other girls,. I have been with him for over 10 years. When I first found out that he was chatting with other women, it didn't bother me at all, since I know that they are not here with him, they are not the ones that does his laundry and does not hold him at night.
In short, trust your man. And as this "secret" girl, have you ever asked him if he has a girlfriend?
2006-11-16 20:44:46 · answer #3 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think one question you should ask is "Do you have a girlfriend?" And you know exactly what to do if he says "No" right? But on the other hand.. checking up on him like that will make him feel that you don't trust him. The only thing you can do I guess is to confront him straight out. If he argues, defends himself, and gets mad at you, then he's not worth it because if he loves you and knows that you love him, then it is only natural for you to want to know the truth.
2006-11-16 20:42:28 · answer #4 · answered by ms_ikia 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To discover a female friend? You ought to be determined. Anyhoo, simply be your self. If she does not like that, then she's now not correct for you. Be your self guy!!! Girls love men who're continuously their selves. Good Luck!!!!
2016-09-01 13:59:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was me I would as him up font what he is playing at and then see what he has to say for him self.
If I was the secret girl first thing I would ask is if he has a girlfriend and what he is looking for on the site.
2006-11-16 20:46:46 · answer #6 · answered by Foxy lady 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what i would ask him is " hey so you got any girlfriends??" or.....have you already asked dat...
it's kind of tricky..coz you never know when you will get caught?? or why not do this just tell him that it's you, and say that your very upset about it and that you dont like it!! tell him straight away!! just ask him how he would feel if you were secretly chatting with other guys??
2006-11-16 20:47:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
See how personal he is willing to get with you on the net. Then run as fast as you can and dont look back. He's a user and a loser.
2006-11-16 20:40:35 · answer #8 · answered by michelle s 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
before you draw the line ask him flirtatious questions as this secret girl and see how he acts...if he seems to be getting to friendly you need to talk to him...he may just be doing it to see pics of other girls and you're already giving him permission to do so...good luck
2006-11-16 20:40:32 · answer #9 · answered by dundledee 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
boys are boys, no matter how good he is, once in his life he will turn left. but in doing so don't really mean he don't love you anymore. if there is someone who knows him, its you. just cross your fingers and hope for the best. just be honest about the situation and accept his opinions.
2006-11-16 20:43:05 · answer #10 · answered by elishamae 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋