This guy that I've known for several years, he's a family friend, recently told me that he's been harboring a crush on me. He's good looking and a very sweet guy, but he is currently married. I never really gave him a second thought becuase of this. Well he has had a really tough time. He and his wife had seperated, but then she got cancer, and he moved back home to take care of her. She is dying from it, and has been sick for the last year and half. He says that he and his wife are basically friends, and he just takes care of her. They are no longer "romantic" due to her illness. He's ready to move on emotionally, but has to do the honorable thing and take care of her through what life she has left. He says he wants some happiness in his life and wants to try and find that with me. At first I told him that I wouldn't see him because he's married, but the more I think about it, the more I would like to see where this might go. Would you date him?
2006-11-16 18:38:10 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As much as he sounds like a great guy, my advice to you is to tell him that you are intrigued and interested, but that you feel wrong seeing him romantically with him being married. I would maybe suggest remaining friends and then pursuing a relationship once she does pass away. Don't make his already complicated life any more complex.
2006-11-16 18:53:44 · answer #1 · answered by InTheGroove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you see yourself with him thats OK, but at the [current] time he is till legally married even though he says they are "separated." Not only that, she is still alive and has a disease. Morally speaking you should just wait until she passes on or gets better before making a move on to be with this man. A lot of people try doing what your doing and while they are with that person they fight and have problems about the other person still in their life. My experience is led me to believe just wait until everything is done then, move on with a relationship.
2006-11-17 02:49:07 · answer #2 · answered by BIGAL 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd wait it out. He should respect his wife and his marriage vows, "through sickness and in health." If there is a time meant to be for you and him, it will happen when the time is right. Now would only hurt the wife, while she's dying even. What a way to die, eh?
2006-11-17 02:56:02 · answer #3 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are both doing the right thing, as long as his dating you isn't getting in the way of his taking care of his dying wife. It may in fact bring comfort to her to know that he will not be alone after she is gone. I think that it takes a strong woman to be able to do what you are doing.
2006-11-17 02:52:20 · answer #4 · answered by kamikaze_4021 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is married, It would be unscriptual.
you wouldn't be able to marry him yourself legally.
You would have none of the protections or benefits from marriage.
if he is serious, he could make a legal divorce from her, and still take care of her. ( of course that may be a medical insureance issue.)
and if he is taking care of a dying person whom he loved enough to marry at one time,
he is greiving I'd imagine,
The worse she gets the more time he is gonna be with her. spending all his emotional strength in dealing with that.
what is gonna be left over for you durring that time?
2006-11-17 02:58:50 · answer #5 · answered by papeche 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt date him. He has a ethical, moral responsibility to his wife and any kids they may have. Hes ready to move on emotionally...I say he was horny or looking to fill his pain with a distraction. How would you feel about the whole thing if you were the wife?
2006-11-17 02:46:06 · answer #6 · answered by debblw2002 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
she is dying... and you have even put thought to this. regardless of their past separation, he let her move in to take care of her. and she is still his wife. until they completely separate or she is cold and six feet down. he won't be able to devote the time and effort he need to you to make things work for the two of you. after things with he and her are settled free game fine. but wait until she is room temp at least.
2006-11-17 03:02:10 · answer #7 · answered by jay s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't. You might feel guilty for dating him because he is married with a dying wife. Just wait. Dont put yourself in a messed up situation.
2006-11-17 02:47:29 · answer #8 · answered by winterblues 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
absolutly not ! he likely just wants a piece of A - -. If after she is gone and he still is interested maybe think about it again. you could make the dying woman have even more pain and suffering than she already has.
2006-11-17 03:02:38 · answer #9 · answered by gooplic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go out with him, he needs you and your love...it is ok, you can even check with his wife. she will want him to be happy also,
2006-11-17 02:51:42 · answer #10 · answered by wizzard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋