I'm afraid of dying. Can anyone help me?

Question

Ever since I saw my all of my grandparents die in short periods of time and watching personally how my goddaughter died I've become afraid of death. I dream of my mom in a hospital room dead. I dream of my dad in a coffin.

Everytime I hug my parents, I cry because I don't want to lose them. Sometimes, at night, I watch them sleep. Hoping that they're still breathing.

I dream of myself dying and wondering where I will go. I'm most afraid of losing my memories when I die. I want to remember who I am and what I do. I don't want to forget anything.

I'm 15 years old. Is it right to worry about this? I don't want people telling me I'm crazy or whatever. I'm serious and I really need your help.

Who keeps on putting negative ratings on almost all of the comments? I think that's not supposed to happen seeing as all of the comments help in a way..

Answer 1

You need to talk to someone about your fears of dying. The are not crazy and very real fears but something that you need to talk about. One thing to think about is a friend of mine who has died twice but been sent back because "it wasn't her time". She has full well been on her way to heaven and is able to describe the wonderful feeling. She can't wait to get back to heaven and has told me many times that if anything happens she does not want me or anyone else to start CPR on her. You can bet I will honor her wishes. You will not forget things when you die but will be able to see and reuninte with all the people who have died.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, one of the downsides of self-awareness is the knowledge that everyone dies, including ourselves.

Death anxiety is very common. In fact, this is one primary reason why so many people turn to religion - it offers (unsubstantiated) promises of life everlasting and reunification with departed loved ones. But in this world at least, all things are temporary. Nothing lasts forever. Everything comes to an end.

However, it does seem somewhat unusual for someone to be so preoccupied with death and dying, especially when they are as young as you are and (presumably) in good health. Most people have some kind of psychological defense against death anxiety, such as illusions of personal specialness or invulnerability, or intellectualization and abstraction mechanisms. We're still gonna die, of course, but it helps us get through the day to not to think about it all the time.

The positive side of death, if there is one, is that it makes life in the present all the more precious. Try to focus less on the fear of dying, the anticipated pain of losing your friends and family, and focus more on living life to the fullest while you can and appreciating the people you have in your life. That way, when it does come time for you to die, you will be able to look back in satisfaction upon a life well-lived instead of being filled with regret over missed opportunities and all the things you left unsaid and undone.

I should also mention that thoughts of death, especially of such a frequency and intensity as you're describing, can be symptomatic of depression. They may also be a temporary and normal reaction to the losses of your grandparents and goddaughter.

If in time you still can't find a way to put these thoughts aside on your own, please seek assistance from a mental health professional.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

Should You Be Afraid of Death?
http://watchtower.org/e/20020601/article_01.htm

This ^ series of 2 articles guides you to the scriptures that explain why there is Nothing to fear from death, but rather from being uninformed.

The Marvelous New World of God's Making :
> The Dead Return
- Undoing the Past
(Just 2 of several more subjects explained on this page.)
http://www.watchtower.org/library/dg/article_10.htm

God's Purpose Soon to Be Realized
http://watchtower.org/e/pr/article_07.htm

*An Inheritance You Can Count On (the Earth! Mt 5:5)
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2004/10/1/article_01.htm

When Someone You Love Dies
http://watchtower.org/e/we/index.htm

I encourage you to use the links left of the articles, to related articles. Also the links direct to the Scriptures that are mentioned. When there are no links to the left, & you want to see them, you can make them appear by going to the page bottom & clicking on the tiny box that has no lines. Then the links will be shown , left of the article you are looking at.

You can also use the online search engine. Thisone's URL will possibly be changed soon. It's new Web address can be found by entering the title in the Advanced SEARCH engine on the site.

We MUST Dream
http://watchtower.org/e/19961001/article_01.htm

We often dream what we think or worry a lot about. So, once you understand about death, perhaps you will allow this to help you relax about it.

Answer 4

i'm not an expert in any way but i'm guessing you were pretty close with your grandparents and goddaughter. maybe you're feeling like this because this is all new to you and you see how real it is and it's just come as a shock, you know?

just talk to your parents because they know you best and can give you the best answers and comfort. i'm sure what you're feeling right now is temporary. it's just a learning experience and a part of life. but you definetely don't want to live life thinking about death. most people (if not everyone) is afraid of dying which i think is normal. but u just dont want it to take over your life, you know? it shouldn't be something you think about so much that when you hug your parents you're afraid to lose them.

hope you feel better.

Answer 5

OK, I'm a dentist, and only "dabble" in therapy, but I've had patients die... It's not easy to deal with. Additionally, my brother died 10 years ago as a teenager, which is really tough.

My family is of a Christian tradition, so we believe we will be reunited with our loved ones in heaven after death.

other faiths have other traditions. Some people believe we just disapear, like you are afraid of. After studying biology (and philosophy) for four years, I came to the conclusion, that even if this is true, there's no point in believing it, as it will only depress you and there's nothing you can do about it anyway.

For what it's worth, I occaisionally have VERY vivid dreams of talkig with my late brother, and sometimes they are sad but other times they are quite happy. I don't know if he's "talking to me" from heaven, or haunting me or maybe I just have an overactive subsconscious (the "scientific" answer), but I find this to be reassuring.

Do NOT feel bad about being afraid! It is normal, and human! Talk to your parents and friends and maybe rabbi, minister, or a good teacher. There aren't easy answers, but it may help to chat with folks. Take care, kiddo. :)

Answer 6

Ive seen my mother dead in the hospital bed, you could see that she suffered. I seen my father dead in a coffin. and many more relatives and friends. In 1999 I was declaired legally dead twice due to alcohol abuse, I was given my last rites the whole 9 yards. I had no body or brain functions for over 10 minutes one of the times. My hospital report said that a lot of things happened during that time and I don't remember any of it. When I die for good I just don't want any pain. When you were born your parents gave you a name,as you got older frinds and family called you that name, THATS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE. Don't be scared

Answer 7

i think its natural to have fear of dying,because no one knows what happens. when you lose peeople close to you in this short of time, this fear is normal,my brother died when i was 14 and it took over a year before i lost this fear, i kept thinking i was going to see a ghost, or he was going to walk thru the front door,i didn't want to believe i was not ever going to see him again.. i really did not have a full concept of death, it was the first time i had to deal with this kind of lose and no one helped me,so i had to make my own conculsions, as time goes on you'll except the lose of your family members. it just takes time.death is a natual part of life as is giving birth...your not crazy,your feeling are normal, and in time you'll feel better,,,good luck!!!

Answer 8

It's ok to think about sometimes but it should not dominate your thoughts or stop you from enjoying life. You're one of billions of people who have entered into this world and are on a rollercoaster with little control. It seems like death has surrounded you somewhat. But if you want to send it away from you, you have to be positive. I'm a Christian and I can tell you God does not want you to be scared of death. Read the Bible and see what God says about what you should fix your sights on. You may also want to meet with a psychologist because I'm sure if your perception was changed, the rest of yourself would follow. Know what I'm saying ??

Answer 9

I have visited family and I truly did not know if we would meet again. I felt sad, but when I was able to see them again, it dispelled the ideas I had. We are all here by God's design, and we will leave in God's time. Trust God to carry you through. Christians do this all the time. Pray the sinner's prayer, and God will carry you with his angels. In heaven we are still who we are on earth. You will recognize your loved ones. Trust God! Search the scriptures!

Answer 10

This is a very good blog, a beginner’s guide to abnormal psychology.
Short, clear and simple; and you can even post your question and contact the author regarding particular subject you are interested in

http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.com/