letter from Walmart... its kinda long but i hope you read it all!!?

Question

> I think a letter similar to this was around before. However, I got a few
laughs from the one below!
> So the story goes:
> My wife received this letter from Walmart! (I was
> only having fun while waiting for my wife to shop.)
> Dear Mrs. Rightmyer,
> Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Gene
> Rightmyer, has been causing quite a commotion in our
> store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and
> have considered banning the entire family from
> shopping in any of our stores. We have documented
> all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.
> Three of our clerks are attending counselling from the
> trouble your husband has caused. All complaints
> against Mr. Rightmyer have been compiled and are listed
> below. Please discuss this situation with your husband.
> Although we appreciate your business, should there be
> further incidents, we shall take further action.
> Wal-Mart Complaint Department MEMO
> Re: Mr. Gene Rightmyer - Complaints:
> 15 Things Mr. Gene Rightmyer has done while his spouse
> was shopping:
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
> them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
> go off at 5-minute intervals.
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
> leading to the restrooms.
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
> an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and
> watched what happened.
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put
> a bag of M&M's on layaway.
> 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to
> a carpeted area.
> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
> department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in
> if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
> 8. September 23: When ever a clerk asks if they can help
> him, he begins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people
> just leave me alone?"
> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera;
> used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
> department, asked the clerk if he knows where the
> anti-depressants are.
> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
> loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
> 12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his
> "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
> people were browsing through, yelled "PICK ME!",
> "PICK ME!"
> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the
> loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and
> screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
> 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
> door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly,
> "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Answer 1

I've read this before, but I forgot 1/2 of them. Hey, I'm an old lady, I could get away doing some of them. Now that's an idea. Anybody game?? Hey, when you are retired, you gotta find something for entertainment. Right??

Answer 2

Don't even fantasize they going to consider compensating you for anything but your actual monetary damages. Scrap those demands. Start the letter this way: "I am writing to request a refund of £301.13 — the difference of the value from the accommodations your company promised and the value of the accommodations your company provided." Now everybody knows the issue they're looking for, and you can focus on the essential details that you need to relay to make your point. Edit about half of the words. The narrative structure is needlessly verbose. Arrange by subject, use bullet points. You've got a good start, though. You don't sound crazy or bitchy. I hope you get your refund. I personally think you deserve it.

Answer 3

I haven't read that one before. But that sounds familiar are sure that letter went to the right wife? My fiance is just as bad as that guy! My fiance and I played hid and go seek with my then 3 yr old and his then 2 yr old. I was about 7 months pregnant and we were in a Macy's and you can just imagine all the people staring at us. So maybe it's not just him our whole family is crazy. But he's the worst we were walking through Babies R Us and we had just ate at a Mexican restaurant and he walked ahead of me, well actually he RAN ahead and when i got close to where he stopped he yelled out don't breath in or you'll be sorry. He farted and when an elderly lady walked past him he farted so loud that I heard it about 3 aisles over!!!!!! He is a Nutt-Case!!!

Answer 4

Mrs Rightmyer,
We note with utmost astonishment, your publishing this letter without any rhyme or reason purely to tarnish the Wallmart image,
However you have overlooked the fact that your own and your husbands reputation is also being tarnished via this publishing.
Our advocates M/S Mayer and Mayer have adviced us not to pursue with charges as we feel that mr Rightmayer listed here is actually the wrong Myer,

We however are of the opinion that you shall continue to if you so wish shop at all Wall mart stores, by your selves, and if your husband wishes to do so, you shall undertake to provide adult supervision to ovoid any untoward incident that may cause annoyance to Wall mart staff of fellow shoppers.

If you ever divorce that husband of yours Madamme I shall be honoured to make you my fourth wife.

Signed.
The C E O (currently excited officer)

Answer 5

I got an email exactly like that! Yea, Walmart

Answer 6

I had this passed around my work last week thought it was hilarious...and i've actually done a couple of those...yeah the whole condom thing...funny ****.

Answer 7

There's nothing to answer but it sure is funny. LOL Thank's for sharing.

Answer 8

That is the best variation of this joke I've seen!

Answer 9

i like #14. tnx for the laugh!

Answer 10

i like the 13th part.