Personal Confession (Seeking advice or at least some kind of explanation)?

Question

I am in a long distance relationship, we love each other and do have intimate life. I will be visiting him this winter. I am afraid to have sex with him and am not sure if that's what I want.

Details: we have been apart for only 6 months, and I do love him. I am very young (21)

~Please don't assign me to a doctor. I just need advice.

We had awesome sex before, know each other forever and are engaged to be married. I am just uneasy of the thought of having sex and it scares me!

Answer to Ben K's question: I cannot elaborate. That's exactly what scares me. And I know him very-very well!

Answer 1

When I first met my husband 6yrs ago he was living in the US and I was in Oz...
I remember the first time we actually met face to face, I had excatly the same concerns as you...
I can still remember being nervous, and it may surprise you that hes probably having the same thoughts as you...what I sugguest is you play it by ear...meaning that you take things slow and see how things progress...While you have been apart you have obviously been talking alot, and thats good because open communication is an excellent way to start a relationship...
If you get to the point where you think you dont want to have sex when your face to face, then explain it to him, I'm sure he will understand that your not ready and will wait for you to be...
Just remember to use protection if you decide to go ahead and do it...but dont be pressured into it...do what you feel your comfortable with...but make sure he knows your not rejecting him and that your just not ready...
I hope some of this made sense...

Answer 2

If you both love each other, both will be very much understanding. So if you wish not to have sex, you can tell him, he will understand. But on the other hand, if you really loves him, then why you should be afraid? What is the reason you are gonna visit him? Is it not for having more closeness? Will not that end up in love making? Ya, so thats for sure, you love him so deeply and wanted to have love making with him.... Dont be afraid, you both love each other so much...Go ahead and have a safe sex.

Answer 3

The anxiety you're experiancing could be do to the distance between the two of you. I say don't worry about it. If you're really in love all it may take is to be in his presence and if you still feel uneasy when you get there don't do it! Don't do anything you don't want to. I think you should express to him the part about being afraid. If he really knows and loves you he'll know exactly the way to get you back in your comfort zone, If he doesn't then maybe it's a sign that something is wrong.

Answer 4

Your in a long distance relationship and you have been intimate??? Now you have been apart of 6 months, you love him and your scared to intimate??? Sorry i like to get thing straight before i answer something...
If you have been intimate before, was it OK then and now because of the apart time maybe your questioning yourself if he is truly what you want...If you don't want to have sex and it makes you feel uncomfortable, tell him...You may need time to get to know him again, don't have sex just because he wants to, it makes the act undesirable. It OK that you scared, its your brain telling you to think about this a little harder, so don't do anything you don't want to...

Answer 5

No one can tell you when it's time to have sex. That's a decision you're gonna have to make for yourself. Just get as much information on protecting yourself from pregnancy and diseases as you can. Talk about it with your man. You should be able to openly discuss sex and pregnancy and diseases with him before you take the plunge.You don't mention why you are afraid. Are there some moral misgivings or are just afraid of the physical aspect of it? Ask (and answer) these questions of yourself.

Answer 6

Never do anything that you are not ready for.
You are in control of YOUR own body.
No one can make that decision for you.

The biggest thing that you can learn at your age is to be yourself and don't do anything you don't want to do. Don't do things to just please some one else.

And love doesn't mean sex. And sex doesn't mean love.

I think you are bright and only you can make this decision.

All I can do is remind you that you hold your own destiny in your own hands. No one else can take that fro you

Answer 7

You had awesome sex but are afraid to have it again? I am very confused. Could you elaborate?

Answer 8

The only advice i could give you is:If you don't want to have sex while your there,tell him so before you go and see if it matters to him,this way maybe you don't have to waste your time going if this is all he wants.But if your relationship has already gone that far,why are now afraid to have sex with him now?Have you been unfaithful?Do you think he's been unfaithful?If you have ,get tested before you go see him.

Answer 9

hey girl! some tips ok.... if your not really sure on what you really want, dont do anything that careless. I mean, DONT HAVE SEX W/ HIM YET! you know why? because having sex w/ your boyfriend is not a justification that he loves you that much! and if you just want to please him by that, STOP! ok? im sure you guys can find something better to do together that is worth your time than having sex.

Answer 10

he's a snort himself. that's all. apparently searching for a snort with reference to the classified ads, no longer searching for intercourse. pass away an advert close to the workstation on paper he can examine that lookd like his craigsrlist seek. Say: " hassle-free and loving spouse awaiting toddler searching for her husband to proceed to be hassle-free to her by no longer looking via craigslist classified ads of females searching for men for LTR." he gets the element.