Is this normal that father picks up daughter on weekends and then allows her to sleep with him!?

Question

Child is 8 years old and mother insists that father not sleep with his daughter when he gets her for the weekend but he is still doing it. She has her own room and own bed but still he lets her sleep with him and they are the only two in his home. What can mother do to stop this. Parents are divorced and mother has remarried. Step father doesn't approve of this situation either but doesn't know how to stop it.

Answer 1

Certainly not all dads molest their daughters. I don't know him but he could be a real good dad, maybe the little girl just likes being next to her daddy. Anyway she doesn't get to see him everyday, maybe she misses him.
I guess it would depend on the person and his history. This is not easy to answer because as an outsider i don't know the facts, guess I like to trust people unless there is reason not to.

Answer 2

Hi Blown, Of course it's not appropriate what he did. But you have to ask yourself...What do you want out of this situation? If he is a good dad overall then perhaps it is best to make sure your feelings are known (as you did) and then otherwise leave it alone. Because what's the alternative? Preventing your daughter from visiting with him at all? Unless there are other factors at play it doesn't sound as if your daughter would be better off without him in her life at all. The reality is that you and your ex aren't together anymore and you already know that both you and he are comfortable with having sex & kids outside of marriage. Soo...maybe the bigger questions are: 1) Does the new gf seem like a safe & sane & decent person? 2) Is he at least somewhat serious about her? (As someone else said, a new gf's house every 2 weeks isn't okay.) 3) How can you accept the reality of what your daughter is going to be exposed to as the child of nonmarried parents? and 4) How will you help your daughter to get through it as healthily as possible? Children of unmarried parents have a lot to deal with. Which bed your daughter sleeps in at the gf's house isn't the real issue imo. Get to the bottom of the real issues and deal with those, even get the help of a family therapist if necessary. Your daughter is lucky to have a mom who loves her very much...and she's lucky to have a dad that still wants some involvement. Sure, it would be better if you and her dad got along, were married, and shared your bed with each other and not random gfs and bfs but, as you say, that ship has sailed. Protecting her from here on out will involve a lot of maturity from both you and your ex, and maybe some professional guidance, too. Keep your chin up, appreciate yourself and your ex for caring about your daughter, and don't forget to reach out for professional guidance when needed. :)

Answer 3

How do you know this is happening?
There is probably nothing going on, but there comes a time in a child's life when they need to understand that after a certain age there are some things that are inappropriate. Explain to your daughter that she should not be sleeping with her Dad in the same bed at night because she is too big for that now. Daddy is too nice to tell her, so she should take the initiative and sleep in her own bed in her own room like a big girl. Tell her Daddy will stay in the room until she is asleep if she is afraid, then tell the ex that is what he needs to do. There is no need to be confrontational with him about it. Just explain to him that you are trying to teach her to be self reliant, and you require his help while she is visiting him. If this doesn't work, you will need to be more forceful about it wtihout it degrading into an argument.with him. Explain to him if he continues to allow the practice, you will take him to court in order to have supervised visits. He may be angry, but will be forced to comply or face the consequences.
Good luck

Answer 4

You can take a legal approach to the situation.Sometimes, things parents do are not wrong until the child gets too old. You can report it. Nothing will probably happen far as jail or anything but that is too old.I'm taking a child abuse class, people have different opinions on this stuff but it is just like when is your child too old to get in the shower, or bath with you?

Answer 5

I do not think it's normal but I am not there to see how they act towards each other and if she is 2 clingy 2 him or begging for attention. How to know whats wrong take her in for a physical and emotional analysis at her pediatrician's they can tell you if it's right or wrong and might be able 2 convince sweetheart 2 stay in her own bed.

Answer 6

They shouldn't insinuate anything without evidence.

She's eight years old. kids that age always want to sleep with there parents, afraid the boogeyman is under her bed or in the closet.

If anything the child will most likely grow out of it.

Answer 7

Does he have a history of sexually abusing children? If not, you are really over-reacting. She's only a child of 8. He is her father.

Answer 8

you can try going back to the courts to see if the visits can be supervised but i think there has to be evidence that he's doing something wrong ... if she is crawling into bed with him maybe you should talk to her about staying in her own room ... she's not used to the place and may be getting scared .. talk to her see why she's doing it and then ask him not to encourage it or you'll go back to court for supervised visits.

Answer 9

dont let your daughter go anymore stop it right now.
go and see a solicitor straight away get the access stopped.
this cant carry on who knows what he maybe doing to that poor child.
personally im surprised youve let it carry on if it were my child i'd ave stopped it as soon as i found out.

Answer 10

ok unless he has a history of child sexual abuse i wouldnt worry about it he is her father and she is only 8 now if you think that there is something more with going on you can call DCS and have it looked into