My boyfriend who didn't talk for a couple of days, he broke up with me earlier tonight. I am so devastated. I really loved him. He said he was doing it so I wouldn't be hurt anymore. I don't know what to do. How can I get through this?
2006-11-16 13:29:54 · 19 answers · asked by New mommy 2010! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He said his friends were his family. Basically he chose his friends over me.
2006-11-16 13:32:14 · update #1
You have to just face it head on and deal with it now. If you just ignore it or try to cover it up with a new relationship, you're going to get even more hurt in the long run.
Cry out all the pain now and move on.
2006-11-16 13:31:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry you are going through this. It's very rough, I know.
When you say he chose his firends over you, it sounds like that's where the trouble was. Maybe you didn't like his friends. Maybe he wasn't mature enough to figure out that having friends and having a relationship are not mutually exclusive options.
People need to be accepting of each other's friends and family. In a healthy relationship, there's plenty of room for everybody.
Of course, that's not much help to you. Right now, every hour seems like a week, and you just wish you could turn the calendar back to a time when everything still felt okay.
What you need to do right now is take care of yourself. Be gentle with yourself, kind to yourself. Buy yourself some luxe new warm pajamas and an assortment of bath and body products and spend a little time at home just trying to relax and feel a bit better.
Don't, however, hang around your living space feeling bad and waiting for him to come back. Go out and live as you regularly would, and force yourself to be at least pleasant. You CAN act your way into good thinking. :-)
Ask other people questions about things that interest them -- you might be surprised how well it helps you forget your own troubles to listen -- really LISTEN -- to someone else. Make lunch dates and coffee dates or go out for drinks with your girlfriends. You need them right now.
Whatever you do, DON'T call him, and don't sit around going through photos and mementos and listening to sad songs that used to be "your" songs. You will make yourself miserable and it won't bring him back.
Don't even talk to him. If he has second thoughts, and he isn't hearing anything from you, he may reconsider things. He will not miss you if you are calling him constantly begging him to reconsider.
But if you take care of yourself, reach out to others and stay busy, chances are that even if he does decide to come back, you will ask yourself whether you even WANT this relationship any more.
Take your power back. It was never really his anyway.
Good luck to you, dear.
2006-11-16 13:55:02 · answer #2 · answered by sparticle 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ive been through the same thing. My ex told me he told me he loved me and he lied. He went two weeks without talking to me. Then he was with some friends and decided to break up with me. I was so sad i almost cried but i stayed stronge. Now every time i see him I talk to him as if he is who he was before we were together. I just humiliate him most of the time. Now he likes me again and is all over me. Ill see how long it takes him to realize i don't want him. So girl all you need to do is step back take a breath and embarrass the heck out of him when you see him. Stay stronge i know you will survive.
2006-11-16 13:37:44 · answer #3 · answered by Derinda M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's no quick fix. Time is the only thing that will take away the pain. But some things that you can do to get through it are to do things with your friends and family, exercise, do things that you enjoy, read books, get involved in some kind of social group, do volunteer work...
2006-11-16 13:33:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to deal with a breakup it is to accept it ...without having the expectations that he will be back or that things will be fix....without having the expectations of revenge ...only time can do that ....there's times for enjoy for laugh for cry also and crying time will heal all the pain that you have inside sometimes we do not cry because we love a person...we cry because our pride it is hurt and that affects our selfsteem so much the feeling of being rejected beleive me that really hurts ...but anyhow ...if he is talking to you in a sincere way just let it go ......and time will heal all wounds ...beleive me ..we all been there ! cry all you want until your heart cures itself ! there's a saying that says......Why I want to be with someone that does not want to be with me?
2006-11-16 13:38:15 · answer #5 · answered by Yami 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when my gf broke up with me, I hit major depression and boy it sucks. yea, I know. I had all these anger and pain within me. Things I want to vent out on her or even kill her. But later on, I decided to put these time for my own use. I used my depression time to do stuff. Crazy stuff, I joined the navy seal and went sky diving, swimming in the ocean, combat (I went to iraq and afghan), paintballing, hiking in the mountains, illegal street car drifting and poetry. All these stuff I have never done in my life before, so I took the depression time to try these crazy things even though it still hurts from the inside. I managed to get over it as I write poetry and doing all these crazy things. I tell you one thing, there is a whole big world out there waiting to be discovered and you should go find it. I hope my little story gave you a little idea what to do. basically, take this sad time not sitting in your bed crying but using this pain and frustration and vent it out on things. It helps to drive your passion to learn new things.
2006-11-16 14:18:24 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Through self-love.
What you need to do is be determined to move on. Start doing more things with your friends to occupy your mind away from thinking about him. If you hang out at the movies, mall, dances, etc. then your heart is more likely to heal faster.
You should also start doing things for yourself! There's nothing wrong with pampering yourself, taking a nice & long bubble bath, and treating yourself to things that you like.
You'll find in the long run that caring about yourself and getting out more will help heal the heartbreak process.
2006-11-16 13:33:23 · answer #7 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1. Get down on your knees and ask God to help you through all things, everything.
2. Ask God to open your eyes to help you see the full picture of things,your relationship,why he broke up with you, was he good for you,did he cause pain or happiness.
3.Ask yourself-was I happy all the time, or some of the time.
4. Am I being blind to things that I do not want to see(example: did others warn me about things,did others see things I did not see)
5.Give yourself time to heal.
6. God will send another man, if you ask for him.
7.Be specific as to what you want(example,God send me the man you want me to have).
8.Don't worry be happy.
9.Find fun things to do even though you are now single.
10. And last but not least have Faith in God, and be confident in yourself.
2006-11-16 13:40:29 · answer #8 · answered by purpleone726 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
perhaps give him a bit of time and space and hen approach him in a couple of days, seems a bit odd that he broke up with you so you wont be hurt anymore - has he got something he is not telling you. If it dosent work out remember that time is a great healer
2006-11-16 13:32:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
another guy who you are really comfortable with always helps, and if all else, resort to speed dating to meet more people or online dating to try and find a good match
chocolate may be a good idea if you just want to temporarily take your mind off the problem while you find a way to meet new people
(sorry if I seem really blunt about anything here, my girlfriend and I are answering questions together and I'm improvising on what she said)
2006-11-16 13:35:26 · answer #10 · answered by nate_oddy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋