I have just witnessed what could be true devastation, ot merely curious fun...
I went to grab some towels for my sons, and when I turned around, I caught my 3 y/o son, laughing and trying to shove a plastic toy ring up my 18 m/o sons bottom! Immediatly I removed them all from the tub, dressed them, and then spoke with them seperatly. My 3 y/o said that his 5 y/o brother did this to our 18 m/o and then told him to do it too. My 5 y/o is disguisted by this, and swears that he never did that, nor did he tell his brother to do it! I truly dont know who is being truthful. We have tried to catch them slipping up, but we cannot! I do not know what to do! I need to know the truth so that appropriate measures can be taken! What do I do??? Maybe they were only curious, but I dont know!
2006-11-16 13:23:00 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I wouldn't panic. To preschoolers bottoms, poop, boobs, farts are all hysterical and the topic of conversation most of the time. I teach prek and I have all kinds of crazy things going on from Booty Dances to Bottom Monsters to another giving me a full description on the differences between men and womens nipples.
At first I was freaking out, sure that all these children are abused, then I had my own preschooler and I realize that it is a part of growing up - just a stage.
Children lie when they are afraid of getting into trouble. Now that one of them lied they are afraid if they come clean they will disappoint you by lieing.
Talk to them and let them know that that behavior is unacceptable and it doesn't matter who did it first to whom, they will both be punished.
I would probably be willing to bet they are both fibbing. The 5 year old probably came up with the idea and just didn't really follow through but the 3 y/o being 3 went ahead and did it. They didn't know they were doing anything wrong because they did it in front of you.
Maybe if you are uncomfortable start bathing them separate.
2006-11-17 12:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by SD 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
RELAX!!!
Kids are kids, and kids are curious as hell. You have four, you should have realized this by now!
It is a stage they go through.. The first one is usually the mouth or "Oral" stage. When they stick everythign and anything in their little mouths, they are learning! Some kids spend more effort on certain fixations than others. Some find their ears and play with them til they are bored with them and find something else to explore. They are learning that their body is theirs, and that there is all kinds of things that it can do. This is normal!
Sounds sick but this is normal, ask your doctor!
The bigger deal you make of it the more they will either try it, or they will develop a sense of guilt about it. Your reaction to them when they are "caught in the act" can make a huge impression on them for life. Calmly tell them that the behavior is not appropriate, and re-enforce it consistently. If you don't let them know what they are doing "wrong", they will never learn what "wrong" or inappropriate is.
Bathe them seperatley and keep an eye on them. I would like to honestly say that as much as I would like trust a 5 year old with an 18 MO, I wouldn't. He may mean no harm but accidents do happen sometimes.
Hell, I had a younger brother, and I told him to do lots of strange or stupid things.
he did them and got un trouble for them. I was to young to feel guilty, but thinking back I feel like a real @ss for doing it. KIDS!!
2006-11-16 14:12:31 · answer #2 · answered by konstipashen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I recently called my child's therapist with a question about something my child did, the therapist advised me--and it made sense-- that with problem behaviors you look for patterns. A single incident may just be curiosity that took him/her down the wrong path. Anything that is really a problem WILL happen again. Just be aware.
I see no reason to believe that what you witnessed is part of a pattern. However, I think you're right to be concerned and I think it bears being absolutely positive that they have never seen similar behavior, or been subjected to it by any adult.
I'd give it a couple of days and start talking with your three and five year old about things that are not obviously related. For example: if they have been with a baby sitter, ask "Kate is really nice, isn't she?" If Kate has been doing something inappropriate, you're not going to get a very enthusiastic response. If there is someone that you really like, that they inexplicably don't like, NEVER leave them with that person.
You don't need to jump to any conclusions about anyone. Just err on the side of caution. Chances are its a one time thing, they were never mistreated, end of story; but this isn't worth taking a chance.
2006-11-16 13:56:41 · answer #3 · answered by Millie M 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Did your three year old ever witness you taking the baby's temperature rectally? If so there is a good chance that is where he picked it up from. Or it could just be that he knows the baby sticks things in his mouth so he thought he would see what would happen at the other end. He could have blamed it on his brother because he did not want to get in trouble. Just make sure that you have thoroughly explained why it was wrong and from now on bathe at least the baby by him self.
2006-11-18 05:01:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them both that it is inappropiate behavior in a way that they can understand. Yoiur children need to learn their bodies are private and not tobe touched by anyone without permission. I would start by not letting them bathe together anymore, and dress in the same room anymore. Children however sometimes "experiment" around the age of 5, just keep your eyes open and moniter their behavior like you are doing now. If the problem persist speak w/ your peds doc about behavior issues. Second, make sure that no one is doing this to the child mimicking the behavior, children sometimes act out, or repeat adult behavior. Good luck!
2006-11-16 14:12:21 · answer #5 · answered by nene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being curious is part of growing and boys seem to be more curious than girls, but sticking toys in each others butt is not a curious act, you need to let them know that they could have really hurt their baby brother and you don't care right now who told who what, but they are never to do such a thing again. And then just keep an extra eye on them when they are all together. If the older one is the little culprit, He's old enough to be punished and understand why.
2006-11-16 13:33:50 · answer #6 · answered by MKM 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
They are so young it is all innocent. Unless you children have seen pornographic material or accidently snuck up on you and your hubby- I wouldn't worry about this... it is not something many talk about. But your kids are only being curious and I would not read any more into it or talk to them about it anymore, as they will be more interested as you are. Keep a close eye on them though as an object could accidently go in the wrong place. OOPS!
2006-11-16 13:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by Stefani 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Speak to them. Tell each of them it is inappropriate. Get the book called Good Touch Bad Touch to read to them ( good for as young as 3 years old) and stop bathing them together. Do it in 15 minute segments. Oldest to youngest.
Do not ask them if someone did this to them. Only trained counselors should talk to them about something like that because it has to be done in a special manor.
2006-11-16 13:30:20 · answer #8 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It could be they were just bored and looking for something to do. However, I would tell them it's not nice. And, give the treat others as you would want to be treated speach.
If you are concerned it could be something more...
Has anything else strange popped up in the last few months? Perhaps, a toilet trained toddler wetting the bed (or holding stools). Or, refusual to eat certain foods. Some toddlers show seductiveness or sexual knowledge that is inapporpriate for their age. Or, anything equally shocking.
Probably nothing to worry about. Just kids being kids. I would look for additional signs, just to be cautious!
2006-11-16 13:41:22 · answer #9 · answered by Baby #3 due 10/13/09 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
kids pass on to kids what has been done to them or told to them so he might have been just curiouse but go to where it began let them no u love them and they can tell u anything find out if something been happing to him some where some how and talk calmley or ask if hed rather talk to another person he trust hopefully youll get to the bottom of it beter to ask then not just watch how you aproach and do not lead him good luck
2006-11-16 14:36:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋