Are you ready to laugh? Hope you enjoy these. Let me know, Thanks.?

Question

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back or that you could crawl into a hole ?
Here are the testimonials of
a few people who did...
*I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blowj*b?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word.
He knew better.
*I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good- looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
*My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget .
*Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Dan! my, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, ! did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
*This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? A true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too!
While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights lined up waiting to get clearance to take off. Then the other Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle up. Without thinking she just announced "Please buckle up, grab your drinks and hold your nuts, we're taking off", No one saw her for the rest of the flight to Houston, and all the other Stewardesses were laughing all the way and half of the passengers.
Now, didn't that feel good ?

Answer 1

HE!HE!HE! i feel better to know i am not the only one.
A few weekends ago my husband and I went to a fair and when i came back my male boss wanted to know if we bought anything, w/o thinking i told him " yes I bought a whip and we had a great time!" it was hard to work that day.

Answer 2

YES I laughed allot, studying those moments for your existence whilst you say whatever innocently then understanding the connotations at the back of what you might have stated, here is a speedy one for you in go back: whilst I was once approximately 12yrs historical we had simply heard a Monty python list, wherein document's have been chatting & one sat up and stated " so that you constantly desired to be a gynocoligist"! Back within the very early 70's & all of the household quietly consuming a Sunday afternoon meal, Just acquired house from our church with mothers and fathers implementing it very strictly to us youngsters. my father & his bro in regulation (my uncle,) have been the 2 best minister's! The household similar it as elders.My younger cousin completely obliviuose to what the that means was once, blurts out, "so is that what you wish to be, a gynocoligist"! he was once the one one giggling whilst he realised he had stated somthing that had critical part results,and concequences. We all acquired the Lecture !! that the ones phrases have been just for adults, GodBless

Answer 3

That was just perfect, I love things like that. I will share one with you also.
I took my 4 years old son to the unemployment office to pick up the check, this is years ago.
So, he and I get out of the car and I kidding tell him "now, when we get in here you look hungry okay?"
So we go in and the lady says to my son "so young man how are you doing today?" and he says kinda loud "I'm suppose to look hungry" I was thunderstruck, the lady looked at me and all I could think to say was "I was just kidding him about unemployment" and left w/check in hand. I laugh at this today. Maybe it is one of those things you have to be there to understand. lol.

Answer 4

yes it does feel good,love it. On a morning show in Australia(9am with David and Kim) during the cooking segment the chef said so just use this um um then Kim said i know the vaginable peeler,oh it made me laugh so much poor thing?? the two guys just skipped saying anything in reply....good idea.

Answer 5

funny! I was at a hardware store and getting a cordless drill which being female I didnt know anything about,a really cute guy was showing me its features and the two batteries that came with it and said "see you can screw all day" I about busted a gut

Answer 6

omg i have had accidents like that when i was at school
i have one of the junk lockers where when i slam the locker dor the locker kinda comes of the wall (it pops out alittle bit) and i got mad cas i had to close it quick or else mt trombone(r) would fall out so my friend sed ''why does that pop out like that'' i sed its cas my tromboner is in there the locker pops out or the tromboner does" it was so funny and its still a joke lol

Answer 7

HA ha ha ha ha ha ! Very Very good I enjoyed those 6 jokes. lol I think that i liked Bob's 8 inches best of all-um the joke that is.

Answer 8

I have to tell you, you're stories were great thank you very much for the laugh have a great day

Answer 9

Now, did you forget your source?

Just kidding.

They are very enjoyable, but I have read them on a website.

Answer 10

Kinda funny, but should have been better with all the reading I had to do.