Am i really lame???

Question

2 weeks ago my boyfriend of 9 months left for Thailand for a LONG holiday (8 months). We're still together and we love each other to pieces... but if ever i see anything that belongs to him or go to his house and see his room, i break down and cry and feel like a big chunk has been ripped out of me. Do you think i'm just dead soft and get myself together and stop being so pathetic or do you think this is normal?? Any advice to get on with things?

Yeah i am lame!! lol

i promise you eejonesaux's he's not some sad manwhore like you may well be!!

If it helps, he's been through loads over here and he planned to go away before i even met him... it's something he really needed to do, and i get that.

Some awsome answers there guys and gals thanks

I was wondering if he'd be the same person when he comes back too, 8 months in a totally different culture is bound to change you somehow

It's not that i totally depend on him.. I look after myself have my own house pay my own bills etc... It's just him as a person i miss so much, he's not just my bf he's my mate aswell. When i'm all stressed out after work and grouchy he's the one that'll calm me down and make me smile... Some great answers though and i intend to follow all good advice! Thanks

Answer 1

aaaw honeypot ...I really feel for you!!

You feel the person you love has gone ..,but not forever, so you are in affect grieving the loss of his presence, although you still have contact, it's sooo not the same...

You respect the reason and his need for him to go..so focus on this when you are feeling down, and remember he will thank you for not allowing, but understanding his reasons.

It will get easier. Just have faith in the love you share and he will return gratified that he had the opportunity to do what he had to!!

p.s. Don't go where you know it will remind of him, as it will upset you more and you will become bitter n twisted, then when you talk to him, he will pick it up ..so try and get on with life and count down the days when he will return!

Think positive and be happy;o} X

Answer 2

It is normal to feel empty and lonely after someone close goes away for awhile. Just remember he will be back one day and you will be together if you have and keep a committed relationship. You can talk everyday on Skype, without charge, you can Email each other. You can take and plan out your months, make dates out with your girlfriends, start a special hobby, divert your mind from focusing on what you do not have, and focus on now and what you will have. A positive thinking attitude will carry you far. So ditch the gloom and doom and tell yourself I'll get through this day and do it....before you know it the time will have passed and you will be in one anothers arms.....or it won't matter.

Answer 3

No; I do not think you're lame. No way. But I have to say that it does seem strange to me; that you've both been going together for 9 mths and now he's outta there for 8 months???? What is that? I can't think that its a good sign; surely you both should have decided on doing something TOGETHER? It just doesn't make sense to me. Are you afraid somehow that it does seem off? Perhaps its an intuition that you are so upset.
I really hope that the true answer can be known shortly.

Answer 4

well this is what i'd do. I'd try to sit down and really analyse my feelings. i'd dissect them and inspect them down to the last little iota.

yeah i'm the kinda guy that likes picking scabs (or is compelled to irresistibly anyway...)

if you're crying because you miss him, acknowledge that to yourself, if it's also got a tinge of you can't cope without him, or you dont' know what he's really doing there, or you feel bad that you're wasting your time waiting for someone instead of having a relationship like you're supposed to... if this was me, i'd privately admit this to myself and set out strategies to try and deal with it, even if it's just more crying!

there's nothing soft about it though. it's quite a hard situation that you're in and you're dealing with it well leaving those emotions inside is not good for your mental constitution and your overall health in the long run. good on you for crying it out but don't cry aimelessly. cry with a purpose!! I think that will help you 'get on with things'

my sympathies, all the best, good luck!

Answer 5

You obviously feel very hurt because an important part of your life is now missing. When you go to his house you are reminded of the good times and how much you like him and it mkaes you sad you can't be together. I'd say its perfectly normal. I'd pray about it and seek a relationship with God, he take away the pain and loneliness so that you won't feel as alone

Answer 6

Yup, it's lame, and with him being gone eight months, you need to get a hold of yourself.
Sure it's hard, having a loved one away for that long. You need to find something or someone to take your mind off his being gone.
Try some volunteering, spend more time, if you can with your friends.
See if you can't find a male friend to go to the movies with, have dinner with, strictly platonic. Lots of us, are often in the same boat, or between dates. Share your time with them, and time will fly by faster for you.

Answer 7

I know what you mean cause I'm the same way. You're just a sensitive person. You just miss him a lot. Try hanging out with friends or doing something fun to get your mind off him. If that doesnt work, try contacting him. Does he have a cell phone you can call him on or something?

Answer 8

I think you were a fool to miss out on an 8 month holiday. Why did you not go? I don't know how you should cope - I would have thought about this before he went.
I guess you should just try your best to cope. Remember:
"There is nothing impossible to him who will try" - Alexander The Great.
Good luck.

Answer 9

it sounds quite normal - how have you both left the relationship are you going to see other people while he is away for 8 months thats a long time - im sorry to say but can he keep his testorme levels in check for that long ???? - i think you both need to realise that one of you is possibly gonna stray.Sorry if i sound harsh but its just a fact of life and happens all the time.
Get on with your life girl and see what happens between the 2 of you when he gets back.

Answer 10

The really lame part of this is that he goes to Thailand WITHOUT YOU, and you are still crying because he is gone.

Let's turn it around. YOU love the guy to pieces, so would you go off anywhere without him????

If you have any self-respect, any vanity at all, this boy is history.

Good Luck