Do I have "Trust Issues" or is he lying????

Question

just found out my boyfriend has some friends that I knew nothing even heard of them. These are not new friends, we have been together for a while nowabout that he hangs out with regularly. I have never met them or and this is so strange and sudden. He also hangs out at this methodist center and I never knew that he went there why would he not tell me, he is not even methodist?

I even asked him about who he was with today (he was with a male friend of his, which i am certain of) and he says that he was alone at his apartment and he was not with anyone.
What does this mean?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO LIE ABOUT SOMETHING SO SIMPLE? He says that he wants me to trust him but how?????

Answer 1

Well let me first say him not telling you something does not mean he is lying it just means he is not telling you everything and I know that does not make it better.

You have trust issues because his behavior puts you in that position, and it's up to him to care enough to take you out of that position.

He had a life before he met you, and even though you have been with him for a while he has not let you in on that part yet, and that's for you to find out why.

As far as him being alone with his male friend it could be just that he was with his male friend. Sometimes guys hang around with other guys who lives a life or indulge themselves in things that he can't. So for a moment he lives bi-curiously through that friend.

As for him hanging at the Methodist center suga you are not his mom he does not and will not tell you everything that he does, and you should not tell him everything as long as you are doing the right thing.

The key to having a great relationship is to make the man feel like your life will go on with or without him. When you ask him questions like what you asked us it makes you look like you don't have enough to do in your own life which is why you have so much time to worry about him.

Listen to me honey and listen to me good and you will save yourself a lot of worrying, heartache, pain, frustration, and hurt feelings after an argument because you feel that he does not get where you are coming from.

A man is going to be a man. If he wants to cheat he will. If he wants to be faithful he will. If he wants to lie he will, and if he wants to tell the truth he will. No amount of arguing or trying to make him feel guilty, or trying to get your feelings validated is going to make him do or not do something he does not want to do or not do.

There is nothing YOU can do to make him do anything different then what he is doing right now only he can, and he will not do it when you want him to he will do it when he wants to. If you are always on him about things all you are really doing is pushing him out there to continue doing what you are asking us now.

The minute you show him that you don't care either way even if you do, and the moment you back off even though you don't want to, and the minute you show him with or with out him you have friends and you have a life even though you want to spend most of your time with him that's when he will come around.

Sorry for the long answer, but if you are an adult I hope this is good advice, and if you are not an adult take this advice with you for the rest of your life. The way to keep a man is to let him know through nice actions that with or with out him you will still be you which is ok. Good luck.

Answer 2

Jus Dnt Question Him Sooner Or Later He'll Confess U Really Dnt Kno Watz Goin On He May Giv U Sumthin Special, And U Try To Ruin it..Daz One Thing Men Dnt Lik When U "Think" They Are Doing Sumthing Wrong But In The End U Accuse Him N Er' Thang Goes Wrong Jus Leave It Alone If his Still Come Up Jus Take A "Little" Look At What He Is Bein Up To..But U Really May Never Know So Dnt Go Snoop Er' Min Sumthin Goes Wrong..!

Answer 3

He wants space from you. But he doesn't want to give you up before he's established new base for himself. Yes he wants you to trust him and don't bother him while he figures out what he wants to do and then without a qualm he'll say bye by or maybe just not call back.

Once he starts moving he'll keep moving and you'll be all heartbroken. Not too far from now you'll keep telling him what you've discovered (so what-he's already given you the signals he's not with you.) Take those signals and start looking for another friend or departing from this one. Be strong and don't take treatment and act naive hoping you can get him back.
This is the time to find books to strengthen who you are ( I suggest ASK AND IT IS GIVEN by abraham and Esther Hicks marvelous insights and strengthening for your goals.

Without goals for yourself and proper action and thought in right dire tion you will be leaning too much and when he leaves you'll fall on your face. If you see the situation now and start moving away from it, you'll always be prepared for life. If you're waiting for him to realize tht he can tell you the truth and why should he lie etc etc. you will be totally unprepared for the relaity of the situation. When you get stronger he might want to come back. Don't relent. What you discover should keep you marching on your journey without him. Don't look for another man, look for your philosophy and goal to which you will apply action.

Read the book above to realize your goal if you already feel what it is.
You have wonderful gifts and possibilities. Don't tie it up with a person who tells you without backing it up to "trust me".

Don't let anyone tell you who to trust. TRUST YOURSELF to know who you can trust. That trust comes from a track record.
You needn't beg someone to be trustworthy.
A trustworthy person will tell you the truth when it's happening.
Keep trucking with hard work to find out who YOU are. And then keep your appointment with your own destiny which you shape.

Answer 4

My gut tells me the reason he has to lie about something so simple, as you put it, is because it's not so simple.
Whatever his reasons, there is no room for lies in a committed relationship. If you were my sister or daughter, I'd tell you to pull the plug until this guy gets his S*** together.
Don't try to figure it out! Just leave and wait for the dust to settle.

Answer 5

I have the audacity to hope so. It seems like a long time, but when I was younger our public leaders were honest and honourable men. Dwight Eisenhower and John Kennedy were both exceptional human beings whose word was good. Integrity and public service can and should be respected regardless of the party such a person belongs to. President Obama seems to understand that, and hopefully he can make the rest of us live up to the standard of a more respectful generation.

Answer 6

Honestly its both. You may have trust issues steming from your past relationships, which helps you to keep your eyes an dears open. At the same time he's not being completely honest about his wereabouts, friends, and activities. I had a bf that was the same way. It turned out that he lied about everything.

Answer 7

it might be that he is using you "not trusting him" as an excuse. that's what mine did. broke up with me when i didn't "trust" him when he was lying and i had the proof sitting right there in front of him! and it turns out i trusted him more than i should have.

i would confront him if i were you and say that you know where he was and what he was doing, and if he continues to lie you are not going to stay in the relationship because he needs to be honest if he wants you to trust him.

Answer 8

you don't have trust issues! If you know he is lying and it doesn't make sense.. just dump him. Remember Laci Peterson and her lying husband? and that other couple where the guy told everyone he was going to college, but he wasn't.. then he killed her? the lying for no reason means that man is just off. I'm not saying he's a killer, but his brain just doesn't work right.

Answer 9

Some people lie when the truth would serve them better. It is their first instinct, and they get very good at it.

I had a girlfriend like that, and dumped her because she was too good a habitual liar to trust.

Answer 10

I smell an untruth here. You're right. There's no reason why he should be hiding something so innocent from you. If he can't produce a really good, valid reason then I'd reconsider the relationship.