Is this normal for my 6 year old daughter?

Question

My daughter in the last 2-3 week has started mouthing off to me like never before. She has always been sassier than I would like but I chocked it up to me being that way and it rubbing off on her. So I curbed the attitude down and since she has become very mouthy. She is always arguing with me. She caused a huge scene today in Hobby Lobby after getting yelled at for being a smart mouth. She starts screaming mommy no please dont at the top of her lungs. WTF is wrong with her?

My husband recently returned from a year deployment to Iraq in September and im wondering is she acting out cause of the adjustment? Or has she lost her flippin mind. How am I supposed to respond to this in a positive way. I am a spanker I will pat that butt at home but not in public. And she knows that too which is why the hysterics in public. So does anyone else have a 6 year old behaving this way? And what do you do? Thanks for the advice in advance.

I also have a son who is 4 years old so she is our oldest.
Ive tried putting her in her room. the corner, spanking etc..BUT never all the time just when she has done it so much that day I cant take it anymore. I know I need to be consistant and so does my husband but what do I do in public places?

Answer 1

Rewarding good behaviour is a great system. Have you thought of having a stars calendar - where she earns stars for doing various good things during the day. i.e. if she makes her bed in the morning she gets a star, if she eats what you give her for breakfast, getting her school work done well etc. etc. whereever the problems arise and then at the end of the week it can add up to a treat or getting some of her toys back - bad behaviour of being mean gets a big black dot that removes two stars. If she can see the system in a clear place in the house then it will be more real (maybe you're doing this already).

on the source list below there was a women with some same problems like you if you want go and look and see if that helps. i got this same information from that site.

always,

Elizabeth

Answer 2

I'd say double up on consistency, enforce consequences on the spot. Never let this behavior go unpunished. You hit the nail on the head about dad being deployed, it's obvious that she misses him. However, no matter what the cause, this behavior it can't go unpunished period. I recommend - every time she mouths off to you, boom, you enforce a consequence (time out, long time out like a hour or more, grounding, taking favorite toys away, or spanking)

Actually since you asked, this is what we do with our older two girls to cure a bad habit they picked up. In your case it would be mouthing off. I would write it down in our "core family rules" list. What does that mean for our daughters? If they break any of them, it's a spanking. Don't feel bad about enforcing this punishment, you gave her every opportunity to correct the behavior, she chose not to. Now I don't know how you currently spank her but I would strongly advise that if it's not done correctly the behavior will just continue. I recommend you make her go sit on her bed and think about why she has earned a spanking (this gives both you and her a good cooling off period). Then have a quick talk to ensure she understands why she is being punished. Then take her pants and panties down (very important, you will be amazed how much better your results are by doing this) put her over your lap and spank her bottom at least a good dozen or more times. After she has calmed down go have a little talk about how this type of behavior will not be acceptable anymore and that you love her to much to allow it. Don't forget lots of hugs, and kisses (very important!)

It has never taken us more then a few weeks to completely extinguish the undesired behavior. The key is you have to be consistent with it. If your in public, don't say anything to her, just stop what your doing and take her to the car, and do it, or better yet take her home. If you want this to stop, spank her every time she talks back, I guarantee if you do, she will stop with in a month at the most. After she no longer has an issue with this, you can ease up a bit, if she gets a little mouthy, just shoot her a nice mom glare first, this gives her a one time opportunity to stop the behavior now before her bottom starts to glow in the dark, lol.

Also get her dad involved in doing the same thing (or your hand will fall off, lol), however, if your husband is NOT the father of her, don't allow him to spank her. He doesn't share the same attachment to her as you do, he could easily go overboard and abuse her. Don't let him do that. Her daddy, however should be on the same page
Be strong mom, you can do it!!!!


Best of luck to you

Answer 3

Easy, leave her little but at home, or with someone who can watch her while you run errands. Also, let het know why you are leaving her. She'll figure it out pretty quick. If she begs to go and you just can't resist, then lay down the law first. Tough love girl. Sometimes spanking isn't the best solution, she probably slept with you when your hubby was gone. She may be mad at you and be feeling a little neglected. A time out for the two of you to talk may be good also. Without yelling, let her know that you are still there for her, but your time is just a little more spread out right now. She'll feel better, and you'll get your sanity back. Good luck.

Answer 4

HI...
I would have to say that this behavior is very normal.
I like the suggestion in a previous answer of walking away from her(keeping an eye on her at all times), it does work. When she realizes that she will not get a rise out of you, she will quit.
Something else, the louder you get, the less she hears. Talk quietly to her and see what happens, if she starts yelling, quietly tell her you do not want to talk to her when she yells. Children pull their emotions and reactions from those around them most of the time.
It sounds to me like she is adjusting. She will adjust in time, but don't let it drive you nuts in the process. She is six, the mind of a child and a short attention span. She sees things differently than you do.
Don't back down or give in, because she will react to that in a negative way.
I wish you the best of luck, and remember patience.

Answer 5

You know I have a 12 yr old that never did that, but my 6 yr old son is extremely defiant. Consistancy is the key. It took me 8 months to break this bad habit, but EVERYTIME, no matter what, I took him to his room closed the door and said this same line, in a very firm voice " I am your mother, you cannot treat me like that, now you can stay in here until you can act like a nicer person." When I first started this, he screamed and yelled, I ignored every tantrum, and he sat there, it started to subside into loud complaining, then mumbling, to crying, and we are at the huff and puff stage, but he will be 7 in January, I think I made pretty good progress, all I do now is point to his room, and he huffs in and puffs for a while, then comes out to apologize and talk about it. You just have to be firm EVERYTIME and not scream back. They learn you mean business and it wil stop. Hang in there. I think it's because they are in the first grade now and generally get exhausted at school, snack and nap may help. If you have the time get her a snack and cuddle up with her on the couch, watch cartoons after school, mine is usually asleep in minutes. Good Luck.

Answer 6

spank her butt as soon as she starts, in public or not, she should not treat you like that and is just taking advantage of you. Then stand there and tell you will not accept this kid of behavior at any time. Yes some people will give you strange faces, but having a child screaming for no reason in public, there probably looking at you funny anyways.

I believe that discipline starts at home but doesn't end there. If my boys want to take the screaming out into the streets, then I can take the spankings out into the streets too.

Answer 7

U should warn her 1st.. tell her if she doesnt behave in public u will take her home immediately... Try not to use fowl language infront of her because if u do so she will think that it is natural for anyone at any age to use that type of language.. If she uses bad language u tell her that it is not appropriate n u do not like it , there will be no swearing in the house or anywhere else. If she does not listen then i reckon u should start taking away her toys and she will only get it back if she starts to behave. I hope this advice will work for u :)

Answer 8

this sounds like she is testing you. she needs to know where her boundaries are. hold your ground. kids are more secure when they know that you are in control. that thing in hobby lobby was just a major fit. you need to let her know that that is not acceptable and that she will have consequences for that attitude when you leave the store or are in the bathroom. I am happy for you that your husband returned, but she maybe feeling a little jealous of you two on top of finding out where these boundaries are. you have got a smart little cookie on your hands. maybe you could call the family support center for a class on how to deal with these types of situations. good luck.

Answer 9

Sounds like she is adjusting. My 6yr old daughter has been doing that a little, but not in public. Try talking to her, or possibly have your husband talk to her. Maybe she needs that reconnection with Daddy. Next time in public, just walk away from her, I don't think she'll let you go far, just keep her in sight.

Answer 10

be consistent if you spank her at home spank her in public too. She is testing you, show her who is the boss. Have natural consequences for her tantrums . When she acts up at home and you put her in time out and she gets out , keep putting her in there until she stays in time out . But you have to be consistent. If you do not like to spank her in public ; when she acts up take her to the car and spank her. Don't let her control the situation. You are the parent.