I have not talked to nor seen my dad for almost two years (for my sister it has been longer). My mother died when I was 22, my dad came out a couple months later, blah blah blah... he has been living with his partner for the past 7 years. I am about to graduate college (I am 31, kind of old, but never to late) and I am having a party. I want my dad to be there, it is a mile stone in my life, yet the reason we dont talk is because he said some harsh things about me to one of my aunts about being a failure in school and the odds of me every graduating are slim to none. As much as I want to say this is a slap in the face for him, I dont want to be like that because this is my dad, I just think he is being influnced by his partner (my dad is a bit of a lemming). I am proud of my school success and want my family and friends to celebrate it, should I contact him, or just blow it off?
2006-11-16 11:42:46 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ask yourself this question:
In ten years, is him not being at this party going to still be bothering you?
If the answer is yes, ask him.
2006-11-16 11:45:41 · answer #1 · answered by D S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you don't know the context of that conversation between your aunt and your dad. Either way...extend the olive branch. Invite him. Let him become a part of your life again. He may have been angry with something else. He is your dad and as you already know, life can be very short. Contact him and see if he would be interested in coming. And last, but definitely not least, CONGRATS on the graduation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-16 11:46:38 · answer #2 · answered by Shawn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it if it will make you uncomfortable or awkward to the guests. Remember it is a time to celebrate your achievements. Maybe you should have a talk with him about how you felt about what he said to your aunt. Depending on how that conversation goes then make your decision about inviting him. It's best to forgive then harbor those ill feeling for the rest of your life. Be truthful with your dad and let him know how you feel.
2006-11-16 11:49:01 · answer #3 · answered by lanena423 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are bitter because of the things he said and could be coz he walked away...No.1 try and forgive him(its not an easy thing but thats where your journey will start. 2. Invite him over(you worked hard and are graduating) and Congratulations too
2006-11-16 18:39:36 · answer #4 · answered by sue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only should you contact me about coming to the party, you really need to re-think being mad at him for something he never said directly to you. Sounds to me like he went to his sister in confidence and she betrayed that, so how can she honestly be trusted? Perhaps she herself influenced that conversation?
My point is that he never said that to your face, he may have just been venting, as parents do sometimes. Forgive and forget, if not for his sake, do it for yours.
2006-11-16 12:14:04 · answer #5 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you want to be the better person that you should contact him. It would not be right that you wouyld not invite him because then he will have a larger grudge on you. So do what ever you think is right. God is there with you. Sorry about your mom.
2006-11-16 11:47:15 · answer #6 · answered by monkeygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my opinion is that you should contact your dad!Reasons:
1st after all he is your dad and you should work it out because you don't know what could happen in the future and if you don't want to regret.
2nd show him that you manage to achieve your goals inspite of fact that he didn't believe in you!!
3rd show him who is better person,and that you are more resonable than him although he is older than you!!!
good luck!
2006-11-16 11:52:48 · answer #7 · answered by MAIDA B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Contact your dad. Parents say things they don't mean and hurt us unintentionally. But forgive and forget. I fell out with my dad for many years, and now he is dead and gone and its too late for anything. Love him while you can. I know that he is proud of you.
2006-11-16 11:48:14 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely invite him and his partner. If you don't, he'll say more unkind things about you. Just remember that HE chose to leave the family - not you. DO NOT be upset if he doesn't show and if he does, a simple "glad you could make it" is enough.
CONGRATULATIONS!!
2006-11-16 11:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by 34th B.G. - USAAF 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should contact your dad. regardless of the way things turn out after you contact him. at least you know you will have been able to step beyond the hurt of losing out time with your dad over the years. who knows, maybe things will go okay. maybe your relationship with him will be re-established. God bless you!
2006-11-16 12:53:27 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋