I always promised myself....?

Question

that my first time would be with someone who really loved me and who I was head over heals in love with and my last gf and I were like that but we didnt have sex because she wanted to stick to her religious beliefs of no sex b4 marriage even though we got really close in bed. It broke my heart when we split but I respected her beliefs because I love/loved her but now im wondering am I wrong to be thinking that the fact my first time wont be with my first love and
therefore it wont be as special?
I wanted to ask people is the person who you had your first time with really special to you and deep down do you have feelings for them or are they just that person and nothing more?
or should I just do it with a random girl. Ive waited because I promsied myself to save myself for someone special but now im wondering should I wait because im in 2 minds im desperate to do it so hence why im thinking of a random girl or should I still wait for the next time I feel like its right to do it?

Answer 1

virgin till marriage idealist here. Or was. I know what ure going thru, I was the same way about my first kiss- wanting it to be special- but my first kiss wasn't. It was at some pointless party with some almost stranger. And I was really dissapointed with myself after that. It told myself it didnt count but I knew it did. Stick with waiting- it'll be worth it in the end. I promise. The first and last of everything has inimaginable value and should not be wasted on the spur of a weak moment.

Answer 2

You don't have to choose between having sex with some random woman and waiting until you're head over heels in love. There is a middle ground. I'd say just date people you like and if you find one that you like well enough to possibly develop a relationship with, just let things progress and if sex happens, go for it.

If you're so horny that you need to have sex now, now now, then you probably don't want to wait for that special woman because you'll be more likely to rush her prematurely into a sexual relationship and possibly ruin any long term prospects. If you've got to have sex just because you're horny (and every guy has been there; no shame in that) then be forward about what you want and you'll find a girl who wants the same thing. Just don't lie your way into a relationship when all you really want is sex because you'll feel bad about yourself after and end up hurting someone. There are plenty of modern women who regard casual sex as acceptable.

My first time was with someone I cared about and liked, but I wouldn't call it head over heels, and it didn't last. I don't look back with any regrets, though.

Answer 3

Don't just have sex your first time with "any random girl" not unless you plan on it being uneventful and something you'll regret. I would suggest, wait for the next time you feel that strongly about love because then it's more special and you wont have as many regrets. Idealy we would all wait until marriage but that's just not how the human body works. Make sure that when you do things in your life you wont have any regrets, and definitly do it with someone who has the same feelings for you as you do for them, trust me, it's way better like that. Wish you the best.

Answer 4

You contradict yourself when you consider "some random girl". What about yout religious belief? What about 'no sex before marriage'? Will you marry "some random girl" just to have sex? Most people who do not share your religious belief regret their first, anyway. Don't you think it would be more special if you saved it for your first (and hopefully ony) wife? She sure would. it's not like you'll die if you don't do it until then. Just take care of yourself with some KY. Stay free from STD's and unplanned pregnancy.

Answer 5

The first person, was special. We loved each other. We went out for 5 weeks before anything happened. All the random ones, I didn't love first. We did it right away and I felt used and dirty afterwards. They didn't stay with me after we did it.

I think you should wait for that special someone that you are in love with.

Answer 6

If you are truly honest about this then you are a really sweet guy .
ihavent had sex before and i only want to have sex after marriage. like you i want it to be special and i dont want it to be with just another boy. i also lose hope and think that maybe i should do it with the next guy who comes along but to me it just doesnt feel right so i am sticking to my principle. and remember those girls who just rush to have sex probably have something they cant wait to give to you ie AIDS or an STD. THINK ABOUT YOUR HEALTH. these things are real and they can happen to YOU so play it safe. abstain and get to know the girl you re gonna share your body with. dont give up!

Answer 7

You may or may not have repercussions with having sex with just anyone (in many aspects including emotionally, mentally and physically). But take control of yourself, so that ultimately YOU make the decision. Not your peers and not your hormones and not the expectations or thoughts people may have about you. From what I read you seem to have good standards for yourself so why give em up for the mediocre standards of the mass. Good luck man. Think it through, and remember that it may also affect the person you are going to do it with.

Answer 8

hey buddy, does it really matter, is it killing u? what's killing u is not getting none! u ever thought bout that? listen boy, getting yo grown man on is the best thing in the world besides being rich :P
so remember when doing it for the 1st time, rather it's with a special girl or tons of girls make sure they're at least good looking- like fuckable, understand. oh by the way, don't forget to get some playa!

Answer 9

My first time was with someone who I liked but not loved and it was boring and not special and if it is with someone you share the connection with it is so much more, so it depends, how you want to look at it from years back and ask yourself about regrets, if you feel like you will regret in years to come then you should wait, but if not then you know your anwer.

Answer 10

*** my thoughts on it? wait, you've waited this long don't throw it out for NOTHING. it doesn't need to be w/ your first love...and i'm sure you'd enjoy it...at least to SOME extent no matter who it was w/. thing is tho'...i'm thinkin you're the type of guy who's gonna love it even more if it's w/ someone u truly care about. and does the person w/ whom i had my "first time" mean anything more to me now than others? nooooo, it's gonna depend on what u really had w/ the person. my first time was w/ my ex-husband. the thought that i had my first time w/ him does nothing to overshadow what he put me thru. :oS wait...save yourself...you'll know when the time's right.