In God's eyes, when is it really okay to divorce?

Question

When I was married, I went through horrible mental and physical abuse from my husband. And although I loved him, I wanted desperately to get out of the marriage altogether. But I didn't think that that was an acceptable reason in God's eyes. We finally divorced when he cheated on me. That was the only thing that I felt that I could divorce him for (religously speaking). Am I right? If not, According to the bible, what are grounds for divorce?
I'm having a really tough time with this.

Answer 1

That is the reason for divorce- adultery.

Matthew 19:9
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

--except for marital unfaithfulness--

But other than that, yes the Bible says God hates divorce. So if your husband cheated on you- you should not feel guilty for divorcing him. And especially if he beated you. I am glad you are not with him anymore...Praise God for that!

Answer 2

Chanie is wrong, divorce is against God's will. God intends marriage to be for life and needs to be taken seriously. If, however, one spouse is consistently not fulfilling their duties to the other, then I think it's an acceptable situation in which to get a divorce. A married couple are to love each other and devote themselves to one another's happiness while serving God, but if one person consistently fails to do that, then I think divorce may be considered. The offending spouse should be counseled by a pastor or priest and worked with to retrain their behavior, but if this fails, then they haven't done their duty as a spouse, and I think divorce would be permissible only after every other option was exhausted.

Answer 3

Marriage is an institution created and regulated by the state, so what does any religion have to do with it? Logically, divorce is the same. The law allows the people to have religious folk officiate it, but also allows the couple to self-officiate (in several states), that's not determinative. You still need a marriage license (from the state) or in a few remaining jursidictions, a common law marriage may be established, but must follow guidelines mandated from the state. Simple answer: the question is moot, as marital status is only determined by the LAWS of the STATE, not church. And why did you feel fit to include the other's status of athiest/agnostic in the same "category" as wife beater or cheater? Being rational (or somewhat rational in the case of an agnostic) isn't a crime; it's a vaulted position. Holding some ill-conceived idea of what an athiest/agnostic is? Oh, and to admiral bob, whenever and wherever the idea of marriage originated is irrelvant to the issue. Since religion predates the existence of most governments, your allusion to marriage being an original product of religion is worth exactly nil; it is a nonissue, as stated before and not subject to interpretation, marriage is created AS OF TODAY, and regulated (to include termination) by THE STATE, not any church, temple or whatever. As to marriage being "deeded" to the state, I find it hard to believe something like a religious union in the eyes of god being volitionally handed over to the government. It may have been a religious ceremony, but the STATE legitimated it. And I never claimed or inferred the state created the status; it simply regulates it. MOMMY: If this is a hypothetical, why are you taking it so personally? Secondly, my thoughts aren't "satanist" thoughts; these are articulated statements based on the law as it stands now (since that's my goddamn job) and thirdly, my name is taken from Miroslave Satan, an NHL hockey player. Finally, my earlier updated comments were to another, not you. Again, why are YOU getting so upset if it's a hypothetical (right....and you've got this friend with a problem...uh, huh....it's not about you, of course....) Addendum: so why haven't you answered MY question to you about lumping those evil athiests and agnostics in with batterers and cheaters???? Perhaps YOU'RE the one harboring "wicked" thoughts towards your fellow man???

Answer 4

I know that God did not want you to go through the physical and mental abuse at all. That there would have been grounds for divorce in Our Lord's eyes. When we are young we need to be disciplined, not when we are adults. You suffered enough, and you need to stop feeling guilty for anything. Your nightmare is over, God loves and forgives you. Pray for the help of your husband's soul if you can, and his salvation and mental healing. God bless you dear.

Answer 5

I think it was an acceptable decision in God's eyes. Nobody should ever go through that. I think God would prefer you to live single and start a new life. Rather than trying to live out the marriage because you thought it would be wrong to divorce it was right to divorce him. I think in order to divorce you have to think "Can we really work this out?" You don't know if you can work with an abusive, lying husband. I hope it worked out for you.

Answer 6

We don't know the will of God but when he reveals it to us and in the Bible adultery is grounds for divorce, Jesus says that. So don't worry. I also don't think God who is the Father Almighty does not want you to suffer abuse. I imagine if my dad were God how would he feel. I am struggling and going through a divorce right now and wondering about remarrige being okay or not. All I can do is say give it to God, he understands and then pray, it opens the lines of communication between you and him and he will pull you through. I think your okay. But don't rely upon man, seek Jesus first and he will lead you through deep waters.
Water, spirit
Bread, word
you have to have both.
Love and prayers. Peace be with you.
Oh and you will be okay to remarry just don't make the same mistake again this time. Adultery is grounds for divorce and I feel Jesus said nothing about divorced adulterers remarrying being wrong. The jews who missed Jesus' real message were so legalistic they couldn't see beyond the veil of the strict adherence to law. There is one that ties us together and individual relationship in revelation of God, so do what he tells you, ask him and he will speak but be willing to listen.

Answer 7

Dear gapeach,

If you are going to be faithful to Christ and His commandments, divorce is not an option. The Bible says in Mark 10:9, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." This means that if you are saved and married, divorce is out of the question. But you may ask, "What if my spouse divorces me?" Well, then you, if your are going to follow the Lord, then you cannot marry anyone else until your spouse dies. If your spouse marries another and then divorces that second spouse because he/she wants to get back with you, this is prohibited also. Marriage is a very serious thing. You see today how church leaders have accepted divorce and even encouraged it. These individuals are in serius trouble with the Lord. I think you can see how divorce has virtually destroyed the family in America.

Answer 8

I think you did the right thing because you don't just have one reason or occurence, you have 3.............which is 3 too many in my opinion. I'm sorry you had a bad relationship, but reflect on the good, like maybe what you learned from the experience........?
God loves you so much!
Psalm 105:4

Answer 9

God, the Originator of marriage, designed it to be a permanent union. But is there any Scriptural reason for a person to divorce his or her mate, and one that would allow for the possibility of remarrying? Jesus addressed this matter by declaring: “I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:9) Sexual infidelity by a mate is the only ground for a divorce that will allow the innocent mate to remarry.

In addition, the Bible’s words at 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, while encouraging marriage mates to stay together, allow for separation. Some, after trying very hard to preserve their marriage, feel they have no choice but to separate. What can be acceptable Scriptural grounds for such a step?

One is willful nonsupport. When getting married, a husband assumes the responsibility of providing for his wife and children. The man who willfully fails to provide the material necessities of life “has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5:8) So separation is possible.

Another is extreme physical abuse. So then, if a mate physically abuses his wife, the victim may separate. (Galatians 5:19-21; Titus 1:7) “Anyone loving violence [God’s] soul certainly hates.” Psalm 11:5.

Another ground for separation is the absolute endangerment of a believer’s spirituality, one’s relationship with God. When a mate’s opposition, perhaps including physical restraint, has made it impossible to pursue true worship and has imperiled the believer’s spirituality, then some believers have found it necessary to separate. Matthew 22:37; Acts 5:27-32.

However, if divorce is pursued under such circumstances, one would not be free to enter a new marriage. According to the Bible, the only legitimate ground for divorce that permits remarriage is adultery or “fornication.” Matthew 5:32.

The Bible allows only one reason for getting a divorce that frees a person to remarry, and that is fornication (Greek, porneia, gross sexual immorality). If fornication is committed, then the innocent mate may decide whether to get a divorce or not. Matthew 5:32.

After telling the Pharisees that the Mosaic concession of divorcing their wives was not the arrangement that had prevailed “from the beginning,” Jesus said: “I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.” (Mt 19:8, 9)


Marriage involves two people with differing personalities learning to develop common interests and working together toward common goals. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, not a casual agreement that can be lightly abandoned. In many countries, divorce is not difficult to obtain, but in the eyes of a Christian, the marriage relationship is sacred. It is ended only for a very serious reason. (Matt. 19:9) Christian spouses can avail themselves of wise counsel from the Bible, support from fellow Christians, and a close, prayerful relationship with God. A successful marriage endures, and over the years, it brings happiness and contentment to husband and wife. More important, it brings honor to God, the Originator of marriage.

Answer 10

I don't think God honors the Hollywood style divorces where
couples just marry and divorce, and then marry and divorce,
etc. I don't think the God of love would want any woman to
stay married to any person who was mean and beat her night
after night or was disrespectful and abusing their children. He
definitely did not intend for a woman to have to remain
married to a man who commits adultery. So, if your husband
cheated on you, that is grounds for divorce. Confess it to God
and ask Him to forgive you for this messed-up marriage, and
then ask Him to bless you and send another who will love,
honor, and respect you.

Answer 11

You are 100% correct, in your decision, adultery is the only reason allowed for divorce. Although God allowed Moses to give the law that if a man wants to divorce a woman that a contract had to be written up, that was only because of humans hard hearts that He gave that command.

But you are right, rest assured.