they say women pick men who are like their fathers, so do u believe this to be true. if your father was a screw-up are you doomed to failed relationships or can the cycle be broken?
2006-11-16 10:50:59 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, I believe this to be a fallacy
2006-11-16 10:53:00 · answer #1 · answered by LadyRebecca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is quite possible.. but it is not a definite.
remember, harboring RESENTMENT for someone who has done wrong to you in ur life can actually prevent u from moving on.. which will lead u to continuously, subconsciously even, seek out and identify those characteristics that are of the person u hate.. and most often than not, u are either subconsciously attracted to that because u want to change/help that person. OR u may want to "hurt" that person that reminds u so much of the person who hurt you, and do something back in revenge. which is not fair of course, because they are different people.
long story short is, u need to learn how to seek all things Positive, Healthy, and Happy in ur life. not short term happy like drugs or yelling at someone.. i mean True happiness, something that will keep u smiling, laughing, cheerful, and optimistic thru the rough times. this will help you to leave NEGATIVE people and situations alone, and also help you to be STRONGER if u are stuck in some kind of obstacle u need to face.
whether or not ur dad was a screw up does NOT define who u are. neither does a great father figure. YOU define who u are. YOU make the decisions in ur life to provide for urself, and ur children. and so, it would be best for u to choose someone who Proves his worth, that he will not screw up, that he will take care of you and ur family, no matter what. not because you HATE ur father (focusing on negative), but because you love your children (focusing on Positive)... therefore, concentrating on Positive things can only lead you towards positive things. good luck~
2006-11-16 10:59:33 · answer #2 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience that is true. This is my 3rd marriage and I went to counseling after the 2nd one. I learned to look for in a guy what I wanted and needed to fulfill my life. Just be careful and remember the things that upset you with your father and if that trend is there even if that guy is nice to you he will end up making you miserable. Trust me I know. After breaking that cycle I am very happily married to a wonderful guy that I choose . The guy with the qualities already there. I tried to change my high school sweetheart and it does not work. Good luck to you don't go where I first did if the things you want are not there don't think you can change them!!! Good luck and God Bless!
2006-11-16 10:57:30 · answer #3 · answered by craftylady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although I'm a guy, I can try to answer that.
Through all the relationships, I've seen many girls pick almost exact opposites of their father (I dunno why, but it seems true).
There isn't really a cycle, although you might want to watch out on exactly who you give your heart. Because there are many people who are ****-ups and you really don't want to date those people. So, if there's a cycle, it can most certainly be broken.
2006-11-16 10:56:23 · answer #4 · answered by Fuh Q. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Concentrate on what you desire to have in a man. Make a list , on one side list the charactericts you want to see in a man and on the other side list the charactericts you do not want to see in a man. You have already begun to break the cycle because you reconize that your father was a screw-up and you are on your way to finding the right person for you. Good Luck ! !
2006-11-16 11:29:35 · answer #5 · answered by Neetaa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it depends on the affect the father had on the daughter.. nothing out there forces a woman to chose a guy who acts or seems like their father.. so the cycle can be broken.
i'd encourage any woman who has gone through traumatic childhood to seek psychological or spiritual help in dealing with her feelings..
2006-11-16 10:54:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister and I grew up in a dysfunctional home. Our mom and dad hated each other. We have both been married 3 times. I blame a lot of it on us choosing someone like our dad. We both finally stepped out of the rut and found men totally different from dad and now are happily married.
2006-11-16 10:55:34 · answer #7 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Actually having a "bad dad" can have the reverse effects. It helps females know exactly what they DON"T want in a man and what they will NOT put up with in their lives just to have a man in their lives. It all comes down to personal choices.
2006-11-16 10:55:37 · answer #8 · answered by baybeegrl5 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can make a conscience decision to not chose a man like your father. They say you do, but REALLY you have the choice.
You just have to be aware of your choices. Look to see if their faults are the same as your fathers..........if they are GET OUT!!!
2006-11-16 10:54:27 · answer #9 · answered by Trish 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i will generally teach my daughter(s) approximately human beings. I of direction will teach her approximately obvious variations between men and lady and have a look at to describe some relationship stuff yet i actually will choose her to think of of guys as human beings and to handle them that way. she will see that a number of my acquaintances are men and a few of my acquaintances are women human beings and that some human beings i do unlike or do no longer have confidence are men and a few are women human beings. and she or he would comprehend that stable men do no longer think of she is way less human because of the fact she is a girl. and she or he would comprehend that the comparable is actual for stable women human beings.
2016-10-15 15:45:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if you have a bad father and are smart enough to make good descions and you wont pick men like ur father
2006-11-16 10:53:23 · answer #11 · answered by katiepoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋