Why won't kids play with my son?

Question

My son started a new school about a year ago and is having difficulty fitting in. He's an average 8 year old, plays sports, has a Game Cube, etc. Everytime I ask him how school was and who he played with at recess, he always answers, "no one". I've encouraged him to ask to join others playing, but he says that he is told that "he isn't needed", etc. I don't know what to do about this. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Do you go to his games at school? Maybe you could get a better idea of what is going on if you could check it out from afar. Do you belong to any school organization where you meet some of the parents? This would give you some good exposure too. Is there boy scouts in the area? Maybe a class, kung fu or some other sport activity. Best that you don't mention your concerns with anyone that could end up embarrassing your son or teasing him. Positive energy is all that is needed. Building his confidence is important especially when others are making it difficult for his self esteem right now. Good luck.

Answer 2

Are there any kids in your neighbourhood? Usually when moving you scope out neighbourhoods that have young families so your child can make friends before the first day of school. Invest in a basketball net or hockey net and a stick and that should attract a few boys who always seem eager to join in.Ask the school if they have any sports teams or clubs that may be of interest to your son. If they do group projects in class it will encourage him to mix.Sometimes it takes a while for the new kid to find a place. You could also sign your son up for team sports, groups like cubs ,etc. It will give him another source of friends.Perhaps your school has a buddy system to help new students fit in.If they don't perhaps you could suggest it.As the parent you could also join the P.T.A. and meet other parents who may be willing to have your child over to play with an age appropriate child.You could discretely ask the gym teacher to assign him to a team and let the kids find out he is an asset to the group.You could also ask the teacher if there is any thing that you can do to help him not be alone on the school ground.It is a sensitive topic because he won't make friends if he isn't approachable.

Answer 3

My son used to say this all the time, I would ask him what him and his friends did at recess and he would say he has no friends. It bothered me too and I finally asked his teachers about it and they calmed he played with every kid in the class at recess, I even snuck up to the school when they had recess and found out it was true, he played with everyone, he just didn't consider them friends. I think some kids know that it takes time to make real friends and the others are just acquaints. So if I were you I would ask his teachers or sneak up there to see for yourself. You also have to remember if he was really close to his old friends at his old school then he may be more hesitant to make new friends out of fear of losing then too.

Answer 4

How big is the new school? I grew up in a very small town and by the time we got into 8th grade our cliches were very tight and any new kids had a really hard time trying to break in. Is he involved in organised sports or other activities at the school? Getting into an organised activity can help him associate and befriend new kids as like interests grow. I think the previous advice about inviting kids over is a good one as well. Is there some kids from his class that live close to you? Have you met any of their parents yet? Get yourself involved in his class and PTO so that you can help bridge that gap as well.

Answer 5

The teacher should be assisting with this. The teacher should assign your son and another student to do a job or project. then help him engage with ther kids during recess. Thsi usually takes 2-3 days and the problem is solved! Unless your son is completely abnormal and mean....Get the school involved

Answer 6

Maybe he can bring something that interests the other kids in "playing" with him... A cool basket ball or soccer ball.
How is he dressed? I know even at 8 kids can be harsh.
I noticed its harder in some schools when you are from another.
I was popular at one school, moved and had no life for 2 years. Moved back and had a great school experience.

Answer 7

definitely talk to his teacher...she might be able to watch interactions in the classroom to help give you info. I'm a teacher and kids can be very cruel. You just need to be careful to let him create the friendships. Kids will catch on quick if they see a mother trying to set them up together. I like the idea in a previous response to have him bring in something unique to catch the kids' attention. And perhaps your son needs to develop more self esteem, which is difficult at this age. Good luck, and keep close attention to the situation, don't let it worsen into a bullying situation.

Answer 8

Maybe you should meet with some of the moms or go to a PTA!If it doesn't get better ask the teacher what you should do without sounding like you're complaining!I'm sure she'll encourage the other kids to play with him!

Answer 9

Here is my advice to you... be a room mother. Meet other parents. When you get to know them, ask for a play date. It is easier for them to get to know each other on common ground. Only invite one over at a time, then the bond can form. At the same time, you will make new friends too! I am sure that your child is just trying to find his place at his new school. Good Luck!

Answer 10

i have help for you it`s like that for me sometimes i feel none of my friends don`t want to han out with me but anyway
1 try a party
2 talk with the teacher
3 tell him to bring something cool
4 have him stand by and do the same thing they`ll recognize and ask him to join !!
if nothing works then those kids are just freaken jerks and i give hope and luck to your son those things worked for me !!!but i`m a girl but still!!!