her grandma, when she is with her dad (whose mom is dying) she spends most of her time with her. How do I help he deal with losing someone so close to her, should she go to school tomorrow or is that just being mean making her go, I really don't know, she has never lost a close family member before and she doesn't have many friends her age. Help me help her through this,
2006-11-16 10:43:46 · 25 answers · asked by ladylunamina 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
aww Im so sorry :( i dont really know what to say. if she's not comfortable going to school, dont make her, but if she feels she can make it, let her go. i hope she does okay :( good luck!!
2006-11-16 10:46:00 · answer #1 · answered by Hearts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just an idea that would really help...If you could stay home with her tomorrow, go TOGETHER and get some scrapbook supplies....You might NOT think that it's all that great, but TRUST me - it will work. Let her pick out some really neat pages, stickers, or whatever makes her feel better to add to the pages of this scrapbook. Have her take pictures or anything else that reminds her of her Grandma and put in the book......Both of you could talk about what made her special and all of the funny things that you'll remember of her.
This way you both could laugh and cry over what is a loss of someone so wonderful. You possibly could bond with her a little more even. It's really hard, but once you get started.....it'll be WONDERFUL - even though it is sad.
Just try it.....make an effort....it's really hard to see someone hurting SO much over death and feel like there's NOTHING you can do. Blessings........
2006-11-16 18:52:30 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ Tracy ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her stay home from school and you stay home with her. Spend some time going through pictures of grandma and talking about her. Of course, she should be allowed to go to the funeral if she wants to. Maybe whoever is in charge of Grandma's things will let your daughter pick out something of hers to keep. Let her cry, but remind her that death is a part of life. I am sure that Grandma wouldn't want her to dwell on her death, but rather on the good times they had together. Be thankful that your daughter and her grandmother were close. I pray you all get through this hard time.
2006-11-16 18:48:23 · answer #3 · answered by habibe's mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that is really tough. My husband passed away 17 months ago. I have a 11 and 12 year old.
My daughter wanted to go to school 2 days after the funeral, I let her. I contacted the school and let them know what was going on. I left instructions for a call home if she was upset at all. Then I'd pick her up. However, my son wasn't ready to go, so he stayed home for 2 weeks. I would talk to her and find out what she is feeling, but try not to be pushy at the same time.
My kids go to grief support group within the school, you should call the counselor.
I also went to the Barnes and Nobel website and bought several grief books that helped all of us.
Try http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=grieving+children&rs=0&fr2=rs-top&ei=UTF-8&fr=slv8- for more ideas. The Dougy Center is excellent http://www.dougy.org/default.asp?pid=6863519.
I'll be happy to talk to you on a personal basis if you'd like via im or email.
Good luck.
Heather
2006-11-16 18:56:17 · answer #4 · answered by ~Heather~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh I'm really sorry the strange part is I'm 12 a male and my grandma died in August for me it was weird cuz it didn't really hit me that my grandma died untill the wake it was terrible I was crying the whole time actually I'm kinda crieng right now I'm so sorry but the worst is yet to come at the wake and the funeral is the worst cuz at the wake you see the open kasket well now I'm really starting to cry cause I remembered the last time seeing my grandmas kasket and I just broke into tears I deffinitley wouldn't make her go too school if she was crieing if not still don't make her go to school. I know I can be kind of emotional at times.
2006-11-16 18:51:07 · answer #5 · answered by Jesus C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, death is a sad part of our reality. Sometimes it helps by talking about it ans not shoving it in a closet like it doesn't exist.
Talk about the good aspects of the persons life and how they wouldn't want to suffer while they are sick. Sometimes dying is a merciful act of God to call folks home who have already lived a fruitful life here on earth.
I'm not sure how religious you are but I would definitely open up the lines of communication.
I would definitely send her to school b/c that may take her mind off of things (a little)
Death is never easy but having family and friends to help you cope makes it easier.
2006-11-16 18:47:37 · answer #6 · answered by Wife~and~Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let her stay home from school....she might not be able to concentrate on whats going on in class. My sons best friend got into an ATV accident last year and got killed,,,,i let him stay home and hang out with his freinds parents for a couple of days,,,and to this day i dont think hes really dealt with his loss. Hes only 13 too. Its not easy for children to deal with death. Maybe you should just hang out with her and spend time alone with her and just talk about the good things about her grandma.
2006-11-16 18:48:17 · answer #7 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring her to school. I mean what would she do all day alone at home? She'd be thinking of her grandma. Bringing her to school, with her friends, she would feel better. She'll sometimes forget about the situation by thinking of something else while being with her friends and all the other stuff. Sry about the rest
2006-11-16 18:48:03 · answer #8 · answered by Weezy Wayne jr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has just lost her grandmother I would say NO do not make her go to school. If Grandma is sick and gonna hang in there for awhile....then yes she should go to school. Unless Grandma is going to die any moment...........in which case she should be with her Grandma.
Remember Death is only hard on those of us left behind....
the ones who died are no longer in pain.... they have moved on to better things.
Let your daughter know that it is perfectly normal to be sad. That she needs to mourn her grandmother.
Hope this helps.
2006-11-16 18:47:42 · answer #9 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't shelter her from death. It's great that she is comfortable being around death. Let her enjoy her time with her grandma and see how she deals with it. Death is avery natural part of our lives. It's ok to be sad when she dies and have a time for grief.
2006-11-16 18:47:08 · answer #10 · answered by justcurious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe you should let her make the decision about school tomorrow,let her know that if she wants to go and it's to hard for her,she can come back home.dealing with death at any age is hard,but in the end everyone has their own way of coping,just let her know that you are there for her,and always will be
2006-11-16 18:51:28 · answer #11 · answered by jeff h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋