There is an older man I know, probably in his late 60's early 70's, who is a complete sexist pig! His wife, who is very nice and respectful of all people, invites me over for dinner one evening. As we were all talking about various things we've done in our lives, he said to me, "You don't need to go to school or have a career- you're a girl. You'll be well taken care of once you get married." His wife said he was just being old-fashioned. I, however, found it very offensive- not only was it sexist but also an insult to my intellect and abilities/skills. How should I handle this? I don't want to be put in a situation like that again.... please help?
2006-11-16 10:37:49 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I think the others are right in that he was merely speaking from the mindset of his generation. But, he does need to understand that we live in different times now, and the fact that things are different now than they were 40- 50 years ago does not mean that Armageddon is around the corner (those people really drive me nuts!).
He needs to accept the fact that in today's society, women are free to get educated, have careers, basically do whatever they want---and if staying at home and raising a family is their choice, then that is fine and peachy, too. But the point is, they have a choice now, and he should realize that. Now, whether or not he agrees with it is up to him.
2006-11-16 13:00:09 · answer #1 · answered by I'm Still Here 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i don't think this man set out to offend you and i am sure there was no malice intended. he is from a very different era and that's the way things were then. the wife kept the house and man went to work and earned the income. there are still many women and men who hold those same values. it's a personal choice, try not to take offence, perhaps try to understand his generation and appreciate how far we have advanced since then. women have a lot more opportunities now than ever, he probably just doesn't realise that.
2006-11-16 10:48:29 · answer #2 · answered by leolady0765 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I personally would answer.: Wow, In today’s day and age, I find that a little insulting.
I am more than capable to hold down a well paying job, and I have the management skills to look after my finaces as well as pay off my own house.
In todays day and age. More and more women are finding they have to do it by themselves.
There just not that many Good hard working men out there now days. That we have to pick the ball up and do it ourselves.
(give a little wink at the end).
2006-11-16 14:02:55 · answer #3 · answered by A Lady Dragon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is old fashioned. He lived in another generation where that was the norm. Although his comments were a bit offensive in this time and day, its not his fault. He is old and set in his ways. If you don't want to be put in that situation, kindly decline the next invite for dinner. This answer is in now way to disrespect you and your abilities etc. He's an old man, give him a break.
2006-11-16 10:44:12 · answer #4 · answered by hollyberry 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Anyone is entitled to state any opinion in their own home. You were there, off the clock, so no workplace laws were broken.
If you do not feel comfortable in his home, don't go. If you accept further invitations with the hope it won't happen again, you will only be condoning that environment.
A polite decline due to family standing obligations may suffice in avoiding future social engagements.
2006-11-16 11:05:37 · answer #5 · answered by navymom 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I agree that he is kind of sexist, but i dont think he really meant it that way. He is saying that if you CHOOSE not to go, the husband should be able to support his family. My mom is a home-mom, and i appreciate that. If she went to work, i would not be the same person i am today. He didnt say you cant, he just said that they dont NEED to. He is just saying that u have a choice to be a stay at home person, or you could be a worker. He is also saying that the husband should be able to support his family
2006-11-16 10:51:04 · answer #6 · answered by mn10230315 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He needs treatment. not for the gay area, yet for the sexism. feels like maximum of your household needs treatment. Get your sister and characteristic cases on your room the position you really communicate about how incorrect they are and educate her and make constructive she would not educate like you mom or grandma. look up on the information superhighway. i'm constructive there's a hotine you may call. If notcontinual to the nearest police station and doubtless ask them about it. they want help.
2016-11-24 23:14:59 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just point out to him that you are capable to hold down a job and in this day and age 50% of marriages end up in divorce so women don't have the luxury of being taken care of anymore.
2006-11-16 10:56:33 · answer #8 · answered by Julia B 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You very kindly, but firmly need to say to him - that may have been the case in your mother's day, or even with your wife - but it is CERTAINLY not the case in today's world. And leave it at that.
If he continues to bring it up after that - I would say something like - "Oh man - don't make me pull out my female whoop *** on you. And then laugh. See if his wife will then take the hint and tell him to shut up. If that doesn't happen - and he continues to go on about this - tell him that he is showing his ignorance and you feel sorry for him.
2006-11-16 10:45:46 · answer #9 · answered by Karla R 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
He grew up in a different time. I don't think he meant to offend you.
All I would do next time is explain to him that the world has change and women can no longer count on men to provide for them. So, we therefore learn to take care of ourselves.
2006-11-17 06:32:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋