I have a 13 year old that is doing very poorly in school..I dont want to give up on her?

Question

she seems to think that she is going to just get by because of this NO CHILD LEFT BEHind thing I dont want to give up on her but she has to want it herself too

Answer 1

No Child Left Behind doesn't mean that kids can't be left behind. It means that schools, and therefore the students that attend those schools, are held to tougher standards. Take away her privileges until she starts to take school more seriously.

Answer 2

13 is such a hard age as far as school goes. Here is what to do. Sit down with her while she is doing her homework. Get involved. All kids hate doing things alone. Homework included. When you help her study, put $1.00 worth of dimes on the table. Quiz her. For every one that is right, give her a dime. For the ones she gets wrong, take one away. When you get done, let her keep her "winnings" buy a pretty new bank and at the end of the school year, take her shopping for a "job well done gift". Get excited over her school work... it will show her that you care and so should she. The no child left behind program is NOT designed to help kids that dont know anything pass. Let her know that she has to know these things in order to move ahead. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Thirteen is a very hard age, and it sounds like this may be age appropriate.
Is she struggling with the work, or is she bored? I was so bored in school, I just zoned it out. I quit in the 9th grade (regretfully). I later got my GED and carried a 4.0 GPA in college.
There were not any programs "back in the day". Now there are many programs that schools offer to help children who need it whether they are challenged or advanced.
I also agree with the suggestion of "so much for an A, so much for a B" and so on. I used this with my children all the way through school until they graduated. Mine was a little different though. 1 dollar for an A, 50 cents for a B, nothing for a C, payed me 50 cents for a D, payed me 1 dollar for an F. (only on report cards) It does work. I had one child that needed the extra help with learning, and one that was advanced to the point of boredom. Believe it or not, the advanced child either owed me or broke even, where the struggling child made money every time. They both were involved in sports, art clubs, and any other thing they became interested in, it is time consuming for you, but fun and very well worth it.
Thank you for not giving up. Stay interested like you are doing and maybe it will rub off on her.

Answer 4

I can't imagine saying "I don't want to give up on my child...but..."

First, you must MUST do everything you can every single day to help your child. If she is not learning, find out why and address it. There is a reason.

Personally, from your post, I would say she walks all over you. She feels that if she whines or talks her way out of studying/grades whatever, you will eventually back down.

If your daughter flunks out or struggles more every year, you need to know that you OF COURSE never gave up, never stopped readdressing the problem every single day! Homeschool! Get a tutor! Get with the teachers and principle and find her help! GO GO GO geez

By the way, no child left behind does NOT mean no child will flunk. It means the teacher is probably teaching to the slowest kid in the room. But it doesn't mean what you two apparently think it means.

Answer 5

She has the wrong knowledge of no child left behind. She is using it as an excuse not to study or learn. It may not even still be around whne she gets to high school! Don't give up on her. Help her with her homework, talk to her teachers, get so involved it feels like YOU are in the 7th or 8th grade again. Don't give up on her! She will so regret someday not learning. you can't tell her that, though. see her counselor! Maybe she needs the other kind of counseling. Wow! I hope you can help her to work it out and make learning interesting and fun for her. Good luck. Don't give up

Answer 6

She's very lucky that you don't want to give up on her. Lots of parents do give up on their kids.

You picked up on something very important -- that she has to want it herself. I always encouraged my son to do his best in school and take college-prep classes so that when that day came, way off in the future, when it was time for him to decide what he wanted to do after high school, he would have the OPTION of going to college IF he wanted to. He could also work at McDonald's if he wanted to. I wasn't telling him that he HAD to go to college. It was his choice. But if he didn't prepare for it, he WOULDN'T have a choice when the time came.

If your daughter can understand that, it may help her. "No child left behind" is a noble idea, and it may happen, but what if it doesn't? What if she depends on other people to rescue her but they don't come through? What then? Does she want to take a chance on that happening? That's a very risky thing to do. She may NOT be able to do whatever she wants to do with her life, just because politicians can't keep all their promises.

Also, I think it's hard for kids to stay motivated about school. I think there should be good consequences for good behavior. For some kids, praise from their parents is enough. But if it's not, I have no problem with rewards for kids to help them stay motivated. A dollar for every "A" paper, fifty cents for every "B" paper, 25 cents for every "C" paper? (And nothing for a "D or F") There are countless creative ways to do this. Privledges are another thing that you can use to reward kids. Getting to go to the movies, getting to have a friend over for pizza, getting to watch tv, etc.

I know this is tough. I hope you get lots of good answers from people because this is a very important thing for your daughter.

Answer 7

You are doing that right thing by not giving up on her, and you are right when you say that she has to want it for herself, what I think you should do is, make her study all of her subjects for at least 10 minutes a day(each subject), and if she doest follow through take away weekends and free time from her, and then make her study during that time, I promise you that it will work.

Answer 8

Giving up on her is the worst thing you can do. SHe just needs more help on grasping the concepts better. Everyone is a different learner. I think you should first see what her learning style is and take it from there. I mean look at it this way, if you didnt grasp something fast enough and you really wanted help, do you think your boss should fire you? or help you?

Answer 9

I did the same thing in school as a kid. I turned it around when my parents got in touch with the school and they started making my teachers fill out a report for each class.. how I did and did I bring my homework, etc.

I suggest you see if your school offers something like this.

Answer 10

alot of schools have academic assistance before and afterschool, maybe you can call hers and find out if she can get some extra help. Also try getting her involved in sports at school, she will then HAVE to do good in school to be able to keep playing them. Good Luck, the teenage years arent for the weak :)