Need some advice on cancer?

Question

My sister is dying of cancer, she as to Christmas, she got brain cancer which now has gone to her lungs and other parts of her body, when I seen her tonight, she could not speak very well is this the cancer or the drugs, I feel very sad for her and her family she has two kids, I don`t know what to say or do, I go round to see her every day, I am trying be strong for her, but boy it is hard

Answer 1

I'm glad you are going to see her no matter what. I feel bad for you and also for her, it's a tough journey. I'm a survivor 13 years, my best friend died of cancer, a very long 4 year battle and she died near the holidays too. It's very hard.

It could be the meds or the cancer. Lungs with cancer make it hard to talk, you need oxygen and it's hard like if you had pneumonia as they fill with fluid.

I know it's hard but right now she's probably in pain, sad, and scared all at once. By going you show you love her. You don't have to say anything, just sitting in the room with her, maybe holding her hand, shows you care. Maybe ask her if she'd like you to read to her something or if she wants you to talk, remember things in the past that were fun, tell her how much you love her, tell her good things about herself, like "you were always so great in school, man I sucked at math, you're the best" things to make her mentally feel good. Maybe even talk about death a little, she may want to talk but is too scared. Talk to her about her kids, tell her not to worry that they will be fine, you'll help them every way possible.

She may lapse into a coma. With my friend Kat she was in the hospital a long time, cancer went from breast to lymph to lung to liver then brain and all over crazy. She lapsed into a coma, then rallied a little then fell back with organ failures and passed away very shortly after. It was scary to watch. You'll think of things you never thought of before, things you wish you said, things you wish you did, now is the time to do those things and say what you need to so you will feel more peaceful. It's hard because you love them and don't want to let go but at the samet ime you are watching them suffer and want them at peace.

hugsssss

Answer 2

i'm Jewish and 10 years in the past very last fall on the optimal of Holy Days for Jews, Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement) my mom died of lung maximum cancers. I stay in Georgia and so did she till about 5 years earlier she died. Then she moved to Arizona. even as she did die, I waited about per week and said as all of her friends over to my living house for a tell reliable thoughts about Charlotte party. The party all started at about 7 pm and that i figured it would very last possibly 2 hours. We were nonetheless going reliable at 2 am. It replaced right into a cheerful party with lots of fond concepts of my mom. I had not in any respect realized how a lot she had affected different persons. i'm happy I did this. precisely 3 years later i replaced into clinically determined with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma level 4. i determined proper off the bat that i did not have time for most cancers and that it does not get me down. It took 2 and a 1/2 years of chemotherapy yet i'm in entire remission. when you consider that then I have lost 4 friends and relatives to maximum cancers and six have beat it. All i will assert is thanks mom (Charlotte Rose B) who confirmed me that having a good concepts-set about some thing reliable or undesirable will pull you through each and everything.

Answer 3

First of all I'm very sorry to hear about your sister. It is always hard to know what to say both to the patient and their family as it is such a devastating time for everyone. Most likely it is the drugs causing her inability to speak clearly. She is probably on heavy duty narcotics for pain. You might want to find out from her doctor if something called hospice is involved and if not they could arrange that. They are a special group of people that can provide support to your sister, you and your family. All the best.

Answer 4

i have a few family members who have cancer, u have to try and be strong 4 her. she wont want u to be upset, it is probably medication for pain that is causing problems with her speech. Also if you have any other questions ask her im sure she would rather u speak 2 her than worry about it, once u have a full understanding of what is going on medically it will probably make u feel abit better.x

Answer 5

I think If I were in your position, I would make the remaining time with your sister memorable. I lost my very best friend to cancer about 10 yrs ago, and if I could take that time back, I would have told him now much he meant to me and made my time with him count. Sometimes, you dont have to say anything, just being there means more than words.

Answer 6

Please find the correct help for you that you will be able to talk to and they will give you the right help and guidance I do understand lost my dad the same way 24yrs ago on the 14th December no time is the right time only everyone is so happy at christmas and your not, God help you your sister and the rest of the family

Answer 7

Its hard but you need to show her how strong you are and that the children will always have their uncle. Tell her you will never let her children forget her and you will be there for them always.

Cancer in the last stages affects people in many different ways, but dont delay in speaking to her while you can.
She needs reassurance that her family will be ok. Once she has this you may well find she will drift peacefully away. I have seen it many many times.
May you find the strength you need.

Answer 8

it is a very sad time for you and the family, my advice is to go round and be your usual self, if your sister is strong minded like mine was she will appreciate the normal things in life going on around her this will let her know you love her and god bless to all

Answer 9

i lost my mum to a brain tumour its hard to say if its drugs or the cancer i do really understand how your feeling right now my heart goes out to you do what you do best and be the supporting and loving brother you are take care xx

Answer 10

it may be several things that maybe causing her to suffer. chemotherapy leave you very weak and can slur speech and make your hair fall out etc.... also depending on her amount of pain her medication may be taking its toll.

Why not ask the nurses all the questions you may have. they might make things clearer for you.

All i can say to you matey is i am so sorry to hear your situation make sure you let her know that you care and that you are there for her... make sure you tell her everything you want to. because if you don't it will hurt you forever.