What should I do about Children?

Question

I'm 22. I'm dating someone 12 years older than me. He has two children that are 8 and 9. This is my first serious relationship we've been dating 6 months and I'm starting to get bored, I'm starting to think that I don't want to have to worry about children, ex wives, and life like this right now. what should I exactly do? I care about him, but we're always arguing cause of it. I don't want to see him go but I don't like this anymore. Not now atleast.

Answer 1

Get out now. find someone your own age and create your own family. step children are a pain in the rear and if you are arguing now about the children it will continue. I married a man with two children when I was 21 I have always been sorry that I did. When we divorced even though I practically raised them they showed no loyalty to me and they never spoke to me again. The ex wife was horrible to me but he was always sweet to her. It is a mess you don't want to spend time in. Please listen you are to young to get mixed up in this run as fast as you can!!!!!E mail me if you need to talk.

Answer 2

OKAY,
everybody has been emailing you a bunch of bull, because obviously you don't WANT to leave him, or at least not yet, right?
It's just too much to handle right now, you are 22 and still quite young, this gut is 34, he is much older than you!
Do you guys live together?
This could be a possible reason why you feel bored, or overstressed with arguing over his ex relationships.
You should take a little break, stay with a friend for a while, or just tell him you need a little time to yourself because your stressed!
YOU NEED A BREAK! Just get a way for a while so you don't have any outside influences to tell you what you think is best! Sweetie, if you think this won't work talking to him is not a bad idea, but arguing is. It sounds like you are frusturated at him for bringing these burdens on you. IF he didn't have these responsibilities, then your relationship would be much easier!
Right?
you said you care, if you love him,. then make the wisest desicion for him and yourself!
I am not saying you should leave him, but there are other people who can love you just the same and better who don't have children and x-wives.
If you love him, then talk to him and share your emotions like you did on this blog! Remember you are just 22 and still have a long life ahead of you! Don't get mixed up in all this bull, you know whats best!
Honey do what is best for you!
signed '
someone who cares
best of luck

Answer 3

Your right to be thinking this way. Your 22 a young woman, there are a ton of good guys out there who aren't already attached with children. Your a very bright individual to be thinking this situation is not right for you. You won't have peace in this relationship for at least another 10+ years, until his children are grown and on their own.

I'd say start your life, don't worry about men, get a place by yourself if you don't already have one, find out what the meaning of life is for you (everyone is different) the right guy will come along (the right guy won't have children) I am not saying these people (single w/kids) are bad, it's just that I think they should be raising their kids instead of getting into a relationship.

Best of luck to you

Answer 4

I think it's time to end this relationship. For one thing you don't sound that into it. For another thing you don't want the kids to start feeling close to you, then they will be hurt when you eventually do move on. You are at a different place in your life than this man is, that's okay. You still have a lot of living to do. Try to end things as amicably as possible, he's probably figured out that this relationship should end also. It's just hard to let go sometimes, but in the end, that's what will be best for all involved. Good Luck.

Answer 5

If you are bored now it is time to move on. I have been married almost six years and I am still very much in love and happy. Never bored.

Age is just a number once you are 18. With the current divorce rate today, you are likely to have to deal with step kids and ex wives or ex girl friends I have many step-kids and ove them all

Answer 6

Honestly, it sounds to me as though you are not ready to take on the responsibility of that life AND his life right now. He's 34, been, married, has 2 kids and is probably ready to think about settling down again. If you are not ready for it then don't do it because the last thing you want to do, and do to him, is go through a messy breakup that could have been prevented by being honest about your feelings. Talk to him and I'm sure he will understand. Good luck.

Answer 7

You need to sit down and have a talk with your boyfriend. If you're not comfortable now with the children and ex-wife, you probably won't be later. You're still young and you'll find the right guy eventually. Don't overcommit if you know you're not happy. Not only do you owe it to yourself, you owe it to your boyfriend if you really care about him. He needs a wife that can handle the situation (not that you can't, but you seem uncomfortable). Best of luck!

Answer 8

Get out now before you get in too deep. You know what you want, or don't want, and calling it off now will save both of you a lot of misery. I'm sure that he feels the same way. As much as you do not want to 'deal with' the baggage he'd also be better off finding someone who will accept it and love his children as well as he does.

Answer 9

If you don't want to 'deal' with the baggage he brings to the relationship, my advice is to get out now. It will not work with the constant bickering between the two of you. You will begin to resent everything about him and end up hating each other. Unless you BOTH can work on things, I think it's best you call it a day.

Answer 10

Move on. You have to be in a comfortable relationship. That is a lot of stuff for a 22 year old to handle. Heck it is tough at any age.