What's the deal with mother-in-laws and the girlfriend or wife? What's up with all the hatred?

Question

A " friend" of mine has a monster-in-law and she can make or break the relationship. What is it with mothers and their sons?

Answer 1

As someone who tries on a daily basis to purge myself of hatred and resentment for my mother-in-law, a lot of it has to do with communication style differences as well - at least in my case.

Since we're now "family" it's hard to accept that there are so many things that we don't understand about each other but that we're forced to accept and hopefully embrace. The adjustments necessary to continue to have a civil or even warm relationship are constant and difficult.

We have completely different ideas about health, communication, priorities, routines and we both want the best for my husband/her son. We differ in what we believe is "best." So we are bumping heads over even small issues, which become big issues because EVERYTHING, it seems, is an issue.

I hope that helps.

Answer 2

The two most common reactions from a mother or mother in law are control and jealousy. Jealous because of the daughter in law has more say then the mother about her son..same for as mothers. There will always be a conflict amongst them..
The wife. daughter in law is now the one the son goes too. not too much his Mom.

Answer 3

This is simple. I am a mother of two girls 20 and 18, I am JELIOUS JELIOUS JELIOUS. it feels like they are being taken away. I am not the one they run to any more. So it is not just your "friend" hun. it happens alot. what makes them moms intolerable when it comes to their kids girlfriends/boyfriends is how they chose to handle letting go. It may be very hard to do, but if you make her feel like she is part of things, this may help lighten her up....good luck.