How should I tell my best friend I'm pagan?

Question

I chose to be pagan shortly after meeting her, but never mentioned anything about it to her. I think she deserves to know, but I am not sure how to tell her.

Her family is very Christian, she is not so much so, but I am not sure how she will take it or even if she'll take it seriously rather than thinking its just a phase I'm going through or something.

Answer 1

I stay away from certain labels because they carry so much negativity with some people. While they may be accurate, other people's reaction to them are unpredictable. In normal conversation when things like reincarnation, ancient mythology, magic, etc. comes up, I simply share my views on that subject. New people get to understand my views one at a time. Eventually they learn enough about me to figure out that I am a neo-pagan. I'm in no hurry---they can learn about all of me, not just my religion.

Answer 2

Is there a reason you are worried about telling her? You might feel out the subject a little, first. Start by saying something like, "I read in the paper that a local pagan group is having an open winter solstice ritual..." and see what she says. If she immediately starts going off on the "heathens" then you'll know what kind of reaction you're going to get. If she doesn't really react one way or another, then it's likely safe to come right out and say, "By the way - I'm a pagan."

Or, with the holiday season coming up make a comment when you give her a gift, "I know I observe winter solstice and you observe Christmas, but I still believe in exchanging gifts with those I care about." Or something. There are hundreds of ways to come out. Personally, I often test the waters by mentioning psychic fairs, or something I've read about pagans in the news or whatnot and see how people react before I jump into the "I'm a pagan!" announcement. Also - sometimes it's just better to not bring religion up to certain people. If you and a certain person never really talk about religion, you might choose to just let it be. What they don't know won't hurt them.

Answer 3

well for me it was easy because all of my friends were either agnostic or athiest form the start.

my family was a different story.

i found it best to wait for it to come up in conversation. and if that seems to take too long, you can kind of nudge it along.

i started wearing a ring with a Triquerta (old Celtic Symbol, popular in "Charmed") and then a Nonegram necklace (9 pointed star) and after awhile my mom finally asked me if i was Jewish because of the necklace...not what i was going for but it opened the conversation. and i explained thet the star of davis only has 6 points. and that it is a pagan symbol that i wear to remind me that everything bad that i put out comes back to me times 9.

about 6 weeks later she finally asked me more about it and we got into a discussion about my beliefs, when she found out that they are the same principal as hers (most religions are the same in principal) she was ok with it. she explained it to dad.

and my southern baptist brother refused to talk to me for 10 years. cant win them all. but people that really love you or call you firend will come to accept it.

good luck.
welcome to the umbrella of Paganism

Yogi

Answer 4

Okay, she's your friend, right? The next question is, " is this really a subject?"

What I mean is, " is the basis of your friendship have a lot to do with your faith?"
If not, then don't worry about it.
Her parents on the other hand....that can get ugly. If they are like most " Christians " I've met, then you're an agent of the devil hell bent on corrupting their precious child.

Answer: If you're friend asks, then answer her honestly. But I wouldn't make an issue of it.

Answer 5

When I became a Christian again, I kind of made a rule that I would wait for it to come up in conversation. Most of my friends are agnostics, and we all grew up to be a bunch of failed rock stars, so it was a surprise to most who knew me.
I think if you go that route, it
a) Presents your change of spirituality as less of a big deal.
b) Allows time to exhibit that you're the same person you were before you changed your mind.

EDIT-Thanks for all the thumbs ups everyone!

Answer 6

let me ask you this: since when religion beliefs become an obstacle? You are all humans and no religion will CHANGE THIS!!! Act like a modern human and you will find the answer.

Answer 7

There's no reason for you to tell her unless religion comes up in conversation.

If religion comes up in conversation, there's no reason NOT to tell her. She should know you well enough to go, "What's that?" not "Get away from me you kitten blood drinker!" And if she goes, "Get away from me you kitten blood drinker!" you'll know she's a looootttttt less rational than you though.

Bright blessings!
)O(

Answer 8

Don't do it over the phone or email. Face to face is best. If she freaks, give her time to adjust. I know it's not the same thing, but when my best friend came out of the closet (the other closet, not the broom closet), it took me a few days to adjust. We talked and it was fine. I hope your friend accepts your decision.

Answer 9

If she is a true friend, she will respect what your beliefs are. There isn't really any need for her parents to know, it isn't their business as long as you aren't preaching to her.

BB
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Answer 10

I'd suggest you avoid the discussion unless the situation warrants discussing religion. I would flat-out tell her; if she's really your friend, she won't look down on you or try to "save" you.