Parent troubles, im the oldest of 3, being 15, and my parents are 30 + 31?

Question

Ive lived with my mom and step dad for about 11 years now, and for a very long time had many problems with my step-dad. A couple years ago there was a big fight between us and since then he dosnt really step up in parenting me anymore, its just my mom. I do love my mom very much but just being the way i am is against what she thinks, and i understand it. She knows i smoke pot, and do other things she dosnt aprove of, but niether of them ever say anything about it because they are scared im goin to have some big break down from some stress's im having in life. I found out not to long ago they were going to see a marraige councelor which im not sure what it is, but it dosnt sound all to great. As much as my mom may think i just dont care, i really do respect her and the room she has given me to figure things out. But my step dad isnt the same way, he wants to stop me from doin things and use punishments in ways and that causes them to fight all the time, im just looking for some advice.

Answer 1

I think you should respect your elders. They have a lot of knowledge that you could use to help you in your stress and problems. I think your step dad should use punishment on you, smoking pot is harm full and dose lead to other problems plus it doesn't really help your stress any way.. You have your mom and dad tied around your little finger, you seem like a spoiled brat to me. If you really loved your mom, you would respect her and care about her marriage, not try to sabotage it.

Answer 2

If u really want 2 help your mother out u have 2 put your part (I'm not saying turn into this perfect daughter) !st stop doing pot (I don't know what else u do but that is the only thing I know that u r doing so that is y I say 2 u stop) Next even though u don't get along with your stepdad c if u can compramise with him infront of your mother. U can be the better person they will both c that u r mature enough. Before u talk 2 both u should talk 2 your mom about what u just wrote down. U have 2 let her know that u do care 4 her & that u do respect her & importantly that u do love her. Tell her that u r willing 2 put your part if her husband is willing 2 do the same.

Answer 3

First off pot is not good, believe me I know, and as parents; your mom and step dad they should be doing everything to encourage you to stop. I work with patients that live in an institution because their brains are fried, BUT IT WAS JUST POT!! Secondly, you are 15 and do not know everything. You say you care, then go to them both and sit down and tell them that, that you don't want them to fight because of you, and that you will try to be more responsible, and that if this man has raised you for 11 years he should have some say in how you are to be punished. You my friend talk the talk but you have learned the game well, how to pit mom against the step dad so that he appears to be the bad guy and you the misunderstood kid.

Answer 4

You actually sound very mature for your 15 years and i think you are feeling unhappy with what you are doing with your life such as doing the things your mom an step dad dosent approve of. And to me that is a sign of respect for them. A marriage counsellor is someone that helps couples through problems in the marriage and that can be a good thing for them.You know just in reading what you have your step dad sounds ok (sure not your ideal situation but ok) he backed off in disciplining you ...some things turn really bad.Sounds to me like you want to reach out to them both but you just dont know how? But it also sounds like you dont want to do bad things with life...you can turn this all around hun by sitting down and talking to them. I actually think your step dad is right teenagers need boundries and punishments and i think your mum feels guilty for you in the fact that he is not your real father.If i was you i would take your mom and step dad and say its not your ideal family life but you want to work at it as a family and give them the time of day an do stuff with them....you will be surprised on the affect of a good belly laugh with them to smoking a joint or what ever.Being with family and happy fills a bond beyond imagining but sure getting high can feel good but it leaves you empty afterwards? I think you are at a turning point in your life ..if so well done im proud of you

Answer 5

Talk to your mom. As the mother of 4- ages 7,18,19, &20- I love for my kids to talk to me. I have let them know that no matter what they have to say, I'll Always listen. By the way the 18,19,20 year olds are my step-kids. I do not call them that though. I felt you needed to know this. As a step parent it is hard because you only have so much say in what happens. You know you not the biological parent. So does the kid. Your step dad probably isn't sure of himself. Open up to them both. Be honest. Let them know how you feel. Sad but true ,somtimes kids have to take the first step. I also had a few step dads in my life. When you get older and have a family you understand more. Its not fair to the kids. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I have faith that you can talk to them. Maybe you shoul try turning to God. He'll help you if you let him.

Answer 6

I am the mother of 4 grown children. You are, in my opinion at the worst age. At 15, each of mine became 'strangers'
Your folks are probably ready to pull their hair out. I hope the counseling works for them. And they're able to hang in until you gain some maturity. Life is not always a bowl of cherries.

Answer 7

Hold on til your 18 and you'll be out of there , hell you can get a job now and start saving grow to be successful on your own.