I've been living with my boyfriend for over three years now and I'm really getting frustrated with him. All he does all day long is play video games. He lost his job over two months ago and just yesterday found another one all the while I was the only one paying any of the bills. In the entire time he wasn't working he barely did anything around the house in the way of cooking or cleaning. In fact, I DID MORE COOKING AND CLEANING THAN HE DID! Plus, I worked!
I feel like he wants a mother rather than a grilfriend. He is 25 years old with no driver's license. I have to drive him everywhere. He can't seem to do anything for himself.
I have lost all respect for him. I order him around like a child and I honestly feel really bad about it but I can't help it! If I don't scream, yell and bark orders he doesn't do anything! If I break up with him he has no where to go. I don't want him to be homeless but I don't think I want to live with him anymore...help!
2006-11-16 08:12:41 · 21 answers · asked by quest4lucidity 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him a relationship is supposed to be a partnership and until he holds up his end you are not going to keep up yours - then clean only what you mess, wash only what you wear, cook only what you eat and spend only on yourself - tell him if he doesnt like it he knows where the door is.
He needs to come to his senses and quick.
But you need to stop enabling his behaviour by doing his bit for him (he only does it because he can get away with it).
Be strong and firm (I have experienced the same type of situation with a woman I lived with).
2006-11-16 08:21:17 · answer #1 · answered by zappafan 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋
He has no ambition. Hes content on living in the video game world it sounds and he dosnt have any drive to change that.
Iam guessing hes a very nice guy. The typical nice guys finish last type of person. He will always be this until he see's you can be a good guy while still being nice. It just means you have to grow a back bone instead of a wishbone.
Now weather you kick him out or he stays with you it wont changehim, he will remain the same person. Even if he finds a job and a pplace. When he gets home hes likly to just sit infront of the TV or computer all over again till hes goes to bed.
Now on your part you have two options well 3 but...
1. Dump him and throw him to the world.
2. Sit down with him and be a "good" person and flat out ask him, "do you consider yourself a man?" "would a man sit at home and have no drive" playing video games is not responsable or does it accumulate money. Think Bill gates spends more than an hour a month on games if at all lol yet hes Microsoft. Be blunt with him. Backbone or wishbone. What hes hoping for is the big break to fall on his lap. Nothing comes for free. Anyways my personal hero, John Wayne so if your not half of him, you cant say your a man.
3. tough it out be a nice girl and do more harm to him in he long run.
Your going to have to shake him up if you wish. Dumping him wont, it will only depress him and send him farther into gamming. Nice girl, wont you'll enforce the weakness. My only sight is to confront him.
Good luck
2006-11-16 08:34:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
whether he works 40 hours or 60, he nonetheless could have helped out with the pass. Is he lazy? specific, and thoughtless. One baby is a huge form of paintings - yet 4? and he purely chefs dinner? Wow! you're able to be a saint to positioned up with this craziness, or consistent with threat you in simple terms appreciate being the martyr?
2016-10-22 05:17:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is leeching off you big time, but you know that. You said he just got a job so tell him you want him out as soon as he has saved enough for the deposit and first month's rent. Tell him now - otherwise he will spend it and say he can't move because he doesn't have the money. It will be awkward and hard to tell him he has to leave but he doesn't respect you - so you owe it to yourself to make this guy stand on his own two feet.
2006-11-16 08:28:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had the same exact problem, and I get two beautiful children out of the relationship, but the relationship has recently ended, I put up with his crap for six and half years and he never did change, no he is living with his sister rent free and bagging groceries for 6.45 and hour he now has a new girlfriend to put up with his immature ways, the sad thing is he made the choice to leave or who knows when I would have put my foot down, I suggest you give him one last chance to change or get rid of him, but stick to your guns.
2006-11-16 08:39:10 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. FairyLove 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you are not happy & wish not to continue the relationship. Give him like a month to get his stuff together & getout. This will give him time to find a place to live & work out his transportation needs. BUT...... Stick to your deadline! You certianly do not want this for the rest of your life. Good Luck!
2006-11-16 08:18:59 · answer #6 · answered by medicbev 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly wat you typed here. Im sure he'll see ur point. If that doesnt work, try this trick. Take a long leave from work. A month or two. and Tell him you've lost ur job and cant find another. Im sure a few days of 'no money in the house' will scare him.
2006-11-16 08:17:38 · answer #7 · answered by tornjeansandguitar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Drop his *** and find someone worthy of you ! He isn't gonna change if you don't put some screws to him . Men have to be molded to the way we want them .If you make an announcement that it is now his responsibility to clean up after himself he may wake up and smell the coffee . Tell him all that is bothering you and tell him what it is you want from him from now on .Period end of it .
2006-11-16 08:17:27 · answer #8 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it is best to leave. If you don't even respect him then you cant really love him to want to spend the rest of your life with him. You can't make him change and be responsible.
2006-11-16 08:18:33 · answer #9 · answered by Sparkle 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK...it sounds like you're done with him...I say leave him.
A relationship is a 2 way street. If he's sitting on his butt all day and you're doing all the work, you need to kick him out!!!!
As to why he's like that...did his mother spoil him? If so, there's your answer.
2006-11-16 08:18:37 · answer #10 · answered by Lancer 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋