ok heres the situation. i have been friends with a couple for about 8 yrs or so. though we are not close and do not talk much we have still kept in touch where necassary. when she was pregnant she invited me to her baby shower. i went and bought over$100 worth of items for their baby. i dont recall a thank you. then recently i was invited to her bridal shower which i attended and gave a gift. now her wedding is here. do i give another gift? i have three children and am also married and never recieved anything from them. i never had a wedding or showers so there was never an "oppurtunity' to give a gift. please help.
2006-11-16 07:45:34 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
nobody says you have to go
Be "busy" that day
2006-11-16 07:50:45 · answer #1 · answered by idtshadow 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, so you gave a baby gift.
Then, you gave a bridal shower gift.
Now you are invited to her wedding. Time for you to buy a wedding gift. It is not the same as the shower. You don't have to spend a lot of money. You surely didn't have to spend that much money on the baby gifts.
One should give gifts freely, without the expectation that something will be given in return.
2006-11-16 17:22:31 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, if you gave a shower gift it is not necessary to give a separate wedding gift. Weddings are actually not gift giving occasions. That's the purpose of the bridal shower. Go to the wedding, have fun, and know that are perfectly in keeping with etiquette.
2006-11-16 16:51:34 · answer #3 · answered by WeaselLuvr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are invited to the wedding and will attend the wedding then yes, you are expected to bring a gift, even if you attended her bridal shower and brough a gift then.
You can opt out of the wedding or attend and bring a modest. but meaningful gift. My guess here is that you are not in a budget but rather scorned that they haven't reprocicated in kind. Make sure that you invite them to your children's birthdays and given them the oportunity to give you.
I've been attending weddings and baby showers and why not in my office, and so what? It's part of being in a social circle, who is keeping a score?
Honest, having a wedding is very expensive, they will entretaine you, feedyou and give you free liquour for the price of a taoster... you can't beat that deal.
Good luck
2006-11-16 16:14:06 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already gave a bridal gift...therefore there is no need to give a gift. not everyone was invited to the bridal shower so the wedding is another chance for them to get more gifts from those that did not attend the shower
2006-11-16 16:18:36 · answer #5 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first off you not getting a gift has nothing to do with nothing.
Second off, you should always spread it out... if you invited to the shower you know your going to have to have a wedding gift. That's why I alway spend $50 on the shower and $200 on the wedding. Give her smaller wedding gift or make her something.
2006-11-16 15:55:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In all truths she wont know every single person who attended her wedding and if all of them gave her a present. I had 100+ people attend my wedding and about 40 of them gave gifts.
She should have given you a thank you card but think about it. She had a baby. Probably her first and just forgot about the cards. You are under no obligation to give another gift if you do not want to. Just give a card wishing her and her marriage well.
2006-11-16 16:35:26 · answer #7 · answered by Erin B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to attend the wedding, you can give a nice congratulations card without the actual gift. Did they give a gift at your wedding? Not to say that one gift deserves another but it sounds like you have done your fair share.
Also, just because you gave a gift at the shower and will attend the wedding does it mean that you have to continue to be "gifting" to the couple. The point of the wedding is to be with the couple to celebrate their nuptials, not to give them an actual physical gift. Besides, it should be important to them to invite you to celebrate with them, not to get a gift out of you.
-EZ
2006-11-16 15:51:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion, yes. It does hurt that they are being so ungrateful but do you really want to stoop to their level. It is traditional to give a gift at the wedding shower and at the wedding. Even though they didn't show any appreciation (which IS NOT right by any means), I would still give with a grateful heart and try not to be bitter about it. Good Luck!
2006-11-16 15:56:51 · answer #9 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just give a card, you already gave a gift at the bridal shower.
2006-11-16 15:55:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you go to her wedding this yes you should give a gift. If you do not want to give her another gift then do not attend their wedding.
2006-11-16 16:23:50 · answer #11 · answered by Disney Dreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋