Should women with children give up on dating?

Question

Whenever I read about about dating and the topic of women with kids come up, men usually say they don't want a women with kids, which is fine. Everyone has a right to their preference. It seems that men with children don't even want to date women with children.

People have this misconception that all single mothers are out looking for a man to raise their kids or she is just some slut that got knocked up, when many single mothers are products of marriages or long-term relationships that just didn't work.

Why do men see women with children as repulsive? Should women with children accept a life of singleness? Should women with children wait until their children are grown to date?

Why do men assume that women with kids are out to take something from them or want them to be instant dads? Many single moms just want to go out and date and have fun just like single women with no kids and don't want a man involved with their kids.

Any thoughts?

At this time I am single by choice. Lately I've been debating about getting back into the dating loop and I've just been looking to see what's out there and it seems that the environment for single moms is pretty hostile. Makes me think I should just stay single.

Dav said that women with children let themselves go. This is not always the case. I'm 5'6" 135 lbs.--slender and good looking. I workout and take care of myself and I know other single moms that look just as good. We're not all ugly fat slobs. A lot of us single moms are actually pretty hot LOL!

Answer 1

It has nothing to do with what you think.

No you don’t have to wait. Even after your kids grow up, odds are you are going to have grandkids hanging around creating the same problem. The reason so many men don’t want to date you is simple. Nobody can make their kids behave. Maybe you do, but most men, like myself, have already dated a series of duds that let their kids mess up.

Just about every woman that had kids, let them in the master bedroom, or slept with their kids in the same bed. I even dated one that expected me to have sex with her son sleeping in the same room (sorry but "Mr Happy" checked out for the evening when I saw her son in the same room).

I dated another that was really nice, but she could not understand why I had a problem with the peanut butter finger prints all over her TV screen. Did I mention that none of her kids where tall enough to reach the TV without standing on a chair? That is a “red flag” that there are behavior problems.

I’m sorry but most single mothers can’t accept that nude barbie dolls floating in a swimming pool are not exactly the hallmark of well behaved children. The same goes for dried melted ice cream in the cup holders of that 50K Denali Edition GMC Suburban with leather seats.

Most of the single mothers had ex-lovers whom had keys to their homes.

Lastly, I had a vasectomy 20 years ago (when I was 21) because I didn’t want children. Every single mother, that I ever dated, asked me if I would consider reversing my vasectomy. Do you see what I am getting at?

Ask yourself. What would you tolerate from the children of a single father? I bet any of the above would be a “deal breaker” would it not?

Your best bet is to date single fathers. They do exist. Some of my friends are. - Good luck!

Answer 2

First of all u have kids n they should be ur no. one responsibility and priority. Some men have a problem with that, then fine, u already accept that as thier preference , which is good, but dont give up on dating and searching the right guy for u n ur kids.(of course the guy should take responsibility of the kids too, if things turn serious). And one last thing,why should u even care what some men think of single moms, and why its repulsive,its thier problem,its just a matter of keeping patience, and choosing a man with a cool head and with u n ur kids in mind.

Answer 3

No, because I truely believe that there is someone out there for everyone. And if they're single, why not live it up and look for that person? Just because they have kids doesn't make them any less attractive. And not every man thinks children are repulsive. If there is a man who loves a woman, and who comes to love her children out there, then why the hell can't a single mom date?

Answer 4

My 5 month old daughter is the most important thing to me. If my marriage didn't work out and I got a divorse (been married for 5 years) I wouldn't want to have men come in and out of my life as dating would suggest. What kind of example is that to a child? I believe once you have a child, you are supposed to be a PARENT and that comes first, before your life. It's not the kids fault a marriage or relationship didn't work, why should they suffer?

Answer 5

Not all men dislike women with children,want to be instant dads,they just want a chance for a happy, loving relationship, kids or not. There are loving, kind, open minded, open hearted men that are willing to help bring up another persons children.

Answer 6

I love women dammit. women should never give up dating. It's unamerican, unethical, and damaging to your health and the health of men.
But you are right in that it is hard for women with children and men with children to find dates.
My oldest daughter is in such a predicament with two children and it seems sometimes her only choice are guys who are not grown up themselves or guys wiht kids of their own who immediately set about to break them up.
Kids often dispise prospective step moms or dads as they see them as the reason for their parents breakup even if they ware strangers at the time.
There are single groups which sometimes work. My son was presiodenmt pf such a group and it worked wel for several years but got to be too confining, too many relationships going no where.
I think as you said singles going to where they might meet singles, and just being moms with needs is natural and is the way to go.
Rumors are like *** holes everyone hjas one so ignore those whjo think their is special.

Answer 7

You have asked about multiple issues.
- no single mothers should not give up on dating
- Ethology, the study of the biology of behavior, says that it is not in the males interests to invest energy in the survival of genes not his own. Instinct says, if it is not your genetic pool, then you don't want anything to do with it.
- men develop a cautious attitude often because they have met women with or without kids that were looking for a meal ticket
- many women with kids don't take care of themselves and don't look as attractive as they could if they had more time to invest in their health and appearance

Answer 8

Becuase it happens often enough to make men wonder.

I married my ex-wife knowing that she came with a daughter she had before I met her.

I became nothing more than an ATM and some useful for killing bugs.

She decided after 7 years to have an affair with an older married man (50+ years old) and is now spending his money.

So don't blame men, blame the women who act in such a fashion to support the stereotype you resent.

Answer 9

I think you are looking in the wrong places and meeting the wrong men. I personally, have never encountered this issue and have been a single mom for a very long time. I have remained single by choice, however, dating has never been an issue. Good luck to you. God bless*

Answer 10

No they shouldn't give up! Dating is hard for everyone. And it's not just guys who feel that way, I dont' date men who have children. Not because I have anything against them but because I've never wanted my own children so I wouldn't want to raise someone else's.