You go on a date with a white hot katie. Suddenly you sense an impending, slow, quite and long fart that you might ease out. But instead, when you relax it becomes a loud juicy funky explosion that clearly comes from your direction. What is the best euphamism to explain away your mistake?
a."Sorry, say 'god bless you' to my huge butt sneeze."
b. "Excuse me. Occassionally my sphinxter belches the alphabet."
c. "Did you hear that? I was blowing a huge colon bubble and it just popped."
d. "So what? Driving an SUV contributes to global warming more than the gas i just expelled from my unhealthy bowel."
e. "I'm a polite guy. I'll give you the choice of spraying febreeze or new car smell on the back of my jeans."
2006-11-16 07:39:33 · 9 answers · asked by judgemartiniz 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm a big fan of Terrance and Philip.
2006-11-16 07:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have quite a sense of humor. In fact, I was laughing out loud at your "euphemisms", which were really clever one-liners. You'd make a terrific script writer or comedian.
However, funny as your remarks are, they are only going to call attention to this unfortunate, impolite timing of nature. If you feel you must say something, a simple, "excuse me", might be more appropriate. Passing gas is something that happens to all of us, many times a day. It's a completely normal reaction to stress and the foods we eat. I don't think there is anything invented yet, though, that can get us through the embarassing moment when the bowel chooses to make its presence felt, or smelt! Hopefully, your hot date will forgive you and sympathize with your embarassment. You're probably not a smoker, but I find that cigarette smoke really disguises the odor better than any room sprays or deodorants. As for the sound of the fury, maybe you could squeeze those sphincters just a little tighter the next time you feel an exhaust coming on. If you're with more than two people, it's anyone's guess who the culprit is, so just look innocent and change the subject. Good luck, and keep up the good sense of humor! It was delightful reading your question....
2006-11-16 07:58:06 · answer #2 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
lmao that's too humorous. Personally I've by no means skilled that however simply depart her a message and provide an explanation for to her that you do not care that it occurred rationale as men and women it is some thing we do. I guess she's embarrassed and that is why she's no longer answering however simply attempt to make certain her that it did not hassle you. And after a couple of days if she does not reply than depart it by myself on the grounds that you probably did what you would and if she cannot recover from it than that is her limitation.
2016-09-01 13:36:32 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excuse yourself and take your behind to the restroom, don't sit and pass gas. That is just nasty. God bless*
2006-11-16 07:41:31 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say scuzz me honeey I just had to blow some aAasSS-didnt get any on ya did I?
2006-11-16 07:43:53 · answer #5 · answered by ROOTER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your suppose to look over at her like she did it, and ask if you need to run now or wait until your pass out from the smell.
2006-11-16 07:45:53 · answer #6 · answered by ღсяаՀу∙թіхіе∙ժմѕτღ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, hold that stuff in until you go to the bathroom. What's wrong with you?
2006-11-16 07:42:29 · answer #7 · answered by togashiyokuni2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
f. Sorry about that, honey
I had to make my own answer - cause all of yours sucked
2006-11-16 07:42:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
exclaim loudly..."Damn baby...this place is infested with Barking Spiders....wanna screw?"
2006-11-16 07:47:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋