My husband will only give me a hug out of bed.I've asked him to hold me in bed but it's like i'm dead to him.I've asked why but all he say's is it's not like that and makes me feel like i'm going crazy and don't know what to do.Even in bed,He does not do nothing,so i thought i'd help him and tell him what i like but he can't even do that.By the way we have been married for 9 years,we have 2 kids together and adopted 4.If you can help,Thank ya
2006-11-16 07:37:05 · 17 answers · asked by Dawn l 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Men like this are hard to figure.
I would suggest trying not to focus on it too much.
Think about all that affection you exchange with those 6 kids.
Focus on your husbands positive traits and verbalize those to him. Express appreciation to him at what he does do, not what he doesn;t.
The beauty in this is he will undoubtfully start hugging you in bed.
2006-11-16 07:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he has lost the connection. You've got to excite him and get it exhilerating again. If yall are losing each other at 9 years, think about what will happen in 50. You need to talk to him about it and tell him that you don't like that. Be the man and just start taking control. Tell him you're not going to let this go on no more. Maybe yall need some time off from the kids. Go out for a weekend or maybe even one night and get connected again. Try roleplay, different positions, or just sit around cuddling. It'll work!!
2006-11-16 07:42:12 · answer #2 · answered by baby_blue_trouble10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard to say without more info. He may just be like my husband and doesnt like to cuddle in bed. Mine likes to sleep off by himself and isnt comfortable sleeping wrapped up together. I dont like it but that is just the way he is.
Maybe he is also afraid of getting aroused (this is what usually happens when you hug in bed right?) and if he is tired and doesnt want sex then this would apply. Maybe he is afraid of another child? Lots of things to talk about with him I think. Keeping asking him. Sounds like you need a weekend away from the kids to go somewhere alone and talk.
Good luck!!
2006-11-16 07:43:44 · answer #3 · answered by Blondana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband may be feeling emotionally distant from you right now and this may or may not be just a natural lull in the marriage. I know my wife and I have gone through periods where the level of physical contact has flucuated. Sometimes I have been the one backing off and sometimes it has been her. Just make sure you continue your attempts to communicate without nagging or getting angry and if the behaviors persist you may want top bring in a mediator or counselor to help both of you. Good luck
2006-11-16 07:43:48 · answer #4 · answered by hdb107 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been doing something in bed to have two children. I think that you are saying that he will not cuddle you in bed and you wish that he would. You have tried talking to him and got no where so I can not give you any other suggestions. Take a big stuffed animal to bed with you and maybe he will get the idea. Try a body pillow maybe. He is not likely to change.
2006-11-16 07:46:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my boyfriend spends the night he does and when I spend the night at his, but I actually like a lot of space when I'm trying to sleep. At my parents house, i have a king size bed that I completely spread out on and I don't even like sharing a part of it with my cat!
2016-03-28 22:42:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough to give advice with suck limited info, was he always like this? Does he get sex more than 3 times a month
I know when my wife and I are in a sex slump which happens from time to time, I dont want to cuddel with her either. But like i said its hard to tell cause i dont know his personality. Maybe show him some (let me be candid) ehhh em
'special attention' that will probably raise his spirits alot, and if it doesnt then he needs to seek counceling
2006-11-16 07:48:03 · answer #7 · answered by Hussite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but in my relationship this meant that I had fallen out of love with my wife and we ended up getting a divorce. I would suggest you both see a counselor very soon before it gets worse.
2006-11-16 07:41:47 · answer #8 · answered by questioningly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its pretty obvious your husband is stressed out! You have all those kids plus he has to work to support them, i think he feels hugging in bed leads to sex and he is afraid that he won't be able to do the job cause he is overstressed (very common in men). You need to communicate with him or at least have him make the first move, when he is ready to show affection again he will show you!!
2006-11-16 07:41:11 · answer #9 · answered by stewiegrif27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and tell him what you want, then listen to what he has to say and work out a solution between the two of you.
Ultimatly the happier you are in the relationship will generally equal the happier he will be.
2006-11-16 07:39:35 · answer #10 · answered by Chris H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋