How do I handle a relationship where I'm christian and the girl is not relgious?

Question

I'm not actaully in a relationship with her, but I think she might be afraid to start one if I am so religious, I know that that's part of my packedge and that she should like all of me, I mean I'd like to help her but how do you handle a relationship where one of teh people isn't what you are? I know religion is a big part of who I am, but I think Love is love. Anyone in a similar situation or have advice. Myt goal isn't to convert her or anything, just make it possible to get to know each other without that being a factor. Please help me if you have any advice.

Well for more details...

This is a girl that I met 4 years ago at school, She was it, that girl you dream about, how she looked acted and everything. We are not close to a relationship other than dating, but here's what happened...

we were talking about my school, a catholic one, and told her we used to pray before a class. she said, "you might be too religious for me". But I have not reason to "try" to convert her, I look at all those who have had successfull relatioships in a similar circumstance and it has worked. I'm not too sure on her beliefs all I know is that she isn't christian, she maybe agnostic...

the point being It doesn't matter a great deal to me that she isn't, I've dated other religions and it was fine. I just want to have the chance to get to know her more.

I am 25, I am starting to think seriously about the future, she is too, but I just want to know how to go about it.

I will pray to God about it, I believe that works, of course, please cont. to help

First of all, I appreciate everyones answers and respect them. This isn't a added detail as much as it is a statement.

I am christian, I was born catholic and raised and made me who I am. Some of teh answers have been very helpful, and others well...confuse me.

I am not athiest so I don't think that an answer to "dump god" are very respectful, and I don't think on the other hand that God would not want me to love someone who is not a believer. I am not very fimiliar with the passage that several people left, but In my heart I find it hard that God would create someone I should "avoid". I love all of Gods people and think that those who are believers should hold our arms open for others, and that those that don't believe should give us the respect enough to know that it is not superstition, all this aside, I feel that it is the ignorance on both sides that creates this void...

I'm sorry for the rant, but I was taken aback by some of the comments.

God Bless and Thanks to all

Answer 1

Paul our Apostle told us to beware of situation like you describe.. Take care you could have a major problem brewing... Jim

2Cor 6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Answer 2

If you can accept that she is not religious and she can accept that you are and neither of you want to change each other, there is no reason this can't work. However, if she's a little weirded out by how religious you are, she may have had bad experiences in the past with people that shoved their religion down her throat. If you really like her, why don't you ask her if your religion makes her nervous, and then ask her why? If she is someone who has experienced the "zealot" side of Christianity, assure her you're not going to force your views on her (that's if you intend not to force your views on her) and let her see you as a PERSON, not a RELIGION. If you do hope that someday you might be able to change her mind, however, move along.

Bright blessings!
)O(

Answer 3

Run, the bible has advice on this subject it says not to marry outside of the christian congregation. There will inevitably be differences and if she has not got the same values you do, then where is the glue that will hold it together? I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there it is, marriage is supposed to be sacred and forever. You would be limiting yourself of the chance of that happening in this difficult system of things. Also it is important that you follow the bibles advice because it was given to us for that reason. God is eventually going to destroy the wicked and if her standards don't allow her to get to know God it is possible that she could be one of them. Also you may not think it important now, but if you make your life with her then each day it will be a source of sorrow because you will only want what is best for her and it would be difficult to not say anything. If you spend much time in religious activites she may be resentful, other issues can come up as well. What if she believes in abortion? You may not. Things like this can tear a marriage apart and Satan works very hard to destroy what God has made. How will she influence your life? Will it encourage you to spend more or less time in your belief?
What Is Needed For A Successful Marriage?
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1999/2/15/article_02.htm

Answer 4

once you're a Christian what the heck were you doin relationship Atheists?? there is the project proper there! i'm a Christian lady who looks for characteristics like: honesty, loyalty, intelligence, gentleness.....ok so fantastically a lot the end results of the Spirit (being a Christian i will really wish you realize what those are), a touch mysterious, protecting, reliable, humorous, interesting, a human beings individual, effective and thoughtful of others. bodily....over 6' a million" (because i'm tall), my variety of attractive, sorry there ought to be some variety of tangible charm! I kept the perfect for very last....HE HAS to love JESUS inclusive of his entire coronary heart AND BE bought OUT FOR CHRIST!! wish i have helped!

Answer 5

I'll be straight up with you:

Some non-religious people really get "creeped out" by the religious. Have you made it clear to her that you're religious? Because that is the kind of thing that is typically done AFTER you're in a relationship. Religion should not be a factor in the 'getting to know you' stage. Your 'pride' of being a Christian can really hurt your image to those who don't believe in the same things you do.

I'm an atheist, and an anti-theist, so I could never date someone who's religious. Deep down, I just wouldn't have the same respect I would for those who actually take up the struggle of learning more about the natural world, than a person who thinks this life is just a waypoint for the afterlife. If she's the same way, you might want to move on.

You might have a shot if she's agnostic - just don't try to take her to church or anything, that'd probably push it over the edge.

Answer 6

Sorry, what you are asking about is if you can keep a big part of yourself apart from the rest of yourself.

At some point in your relationship it will rear its head and cause trouble with one or the other. All relationships thrive or fail based on full knowledge of one another.

Think of it this way. You have found out you have one year to live and you do not want this to get in the way of courting the girl you like. So, you do not tell her. At some point, she will find out, and also at some point this part of your life will become important to you.

Be honest and upfront with her. It is part of who and what you are, just as her beliefs or non beliefs are part of who and what she is. You will find during your courtship if you can co exist with all your differences not just this one that is bothering you at the moment. Just a little hint, if she is dead set against belief in God, it will cause much trouble on down the road unless you are willing to give up your beliefs in which case you never really had them to begin with.

Answer 7

I was in the same exact situation 20 years ago. My husband was an atheist when we met and he knew I was a follower of God. I didnt really let it bother me, I prayed on it and turned it over to God. I still let Jesus in my home, he had no problem with that and never asked for me to change. He has admired my faith for many years and has seen the blessings the Lord has given our family thru the years. Seven years ago, my husband found God and is now a very devout follower.

Answer 8

Both of you should make an honest, sincere effort to understand each other's position, and to make allowances for the other's beliefs. That includes not trying to convert her, but not being offended if she doesn't adopt your beliefs. The same goes for her, of course.

One other thing - you don't say how old you are, or how serious you think this might be. But if it really bothers you to think that she might raise your kids to be athiests, then think hard before you get serious with her.

Answer 9

That is a dilemma you need to face, you will come to a decision as the relationship develops and you find out how she feels about the subject of Christianity that you say is a part of you. If she is neutral about it and may even be willing to follow you in your beliefs, it will be a blessing.

Answer 10

If she can't accept you for who you really are, then you shouldn't be in a relationship with her.

Just because you're religious, and she is not, doesn't mean that it can't work. My fiancee is Christian, and I am Wiccan, and we talked about the religious differences early on. Neither of us wanted to convert the other, and we've had several discussions on the finer points of philosophy and spirituality as a result of our open-mindedness.