I have been seeing a girl for several weeks now and just last night I found out she slept with my ex girlfriend 2 years ago, while I was with my ex! I really liked this girl and it hurts to know she never told me this in the beginning knowing my ex already and that I had dated her. I had to ask her to find out. I am seriously considering letting her go because I could never see her the same again. I have mixed feelings, a part of me forgives her because it was her past and she renounces it and continue seeing her, but yet knowing she had relations with someone I already dated is very devastating and I don't want to get any more hurt if this relationship goes any further. What's your opinion on the matter?
2006-11-16 07:29:54 · 19 answers · asked by Larry 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Go for the 3some man!!
2006-11-16 07:32:39 · answer #1 · answered by Joe Somebody 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You do not know what to do? Fact is, when your present girl(and you have not been together to even call it a g/f-b/f thing)had sex with your ex. Your ex was cheating on you, not her. Second. With this "sleep around" society it might have been a dude you know or one on your team. So that is not unique. Something you have to just be prepared for because the way society is it is always a possibility. Again, sex in this society is just a commodity. There is nothing sacred or special connected to it anymore, it is just one more event that couples do, There is no exclusive commitment to it anymore.
Having got the facts out of the way. You seem very distrurbed by this. I understand you can like someone but hate seriously what they did. The two for most logical people arenot one in the same. However. If the fact that she did that(with the cheating ex actually)is going to be that big of a road block. As much as you would hate, it is time to move on. Because if you will keep ripping the wound open, even if years down the line, or it causes seeds of doubt and mistrust. It is not going to do any good. Why do you want to keep this girl of a couple of weeks so much? Has to be more off the sex than it would off you had all this time and shared experiences. And since sex is just a commodity, it will come again. So to have peace of mind, the logical conclusion is to walk, even if you forgave her of it. You certainly have not put it to rest. And until you can. It is a time bomb in the relationship(when it ever gets there)waiting to blow. Specially since it gave you different perspective on what you hoped and felt she was. If you were that vested love wise it never would have. Then there is the question of is she is a lesbian trying to play it straight with you and in the end will have to be true to herself and dump you. "Sleep around" society stuff is rarely ever tidy.
2006-11-16 08:36:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she knew that your ex was with you at the time (i.e. She knew your ex was cheating on you with her) I would most certainly dump her. That's not the kind of morals I look for in a relationship. I think it makes it more likely she will cheat on you.
I don't think that the fact that she slept with someone you did is really an issue besides that fact. Nor is being a lesbian or bisexual, unless you have a problem with that, which doesn't seem to be so.
Only stay with her if you can REALLY let it go, don't let it fester inside you or hold it over her head once you forgive her.
2006-11-17 01:07:24 · answer #3 · answered by felixandme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past. The question is, can you leave it there?
If you cannot get over this then you should break it off because it will hang over your relationship.
If you really care for her, trust her and feel like you could have a good relationship with her, then forget about what happened two years ago and concentrate on what you're doing today!
Good luck!
2006-11-16 07:33:43 · answer #4 · answered by seaelen 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It was pretty deceitful of her not to mention something about this earlier. Could she be hiding anything else? I would honestly consider breaking it off now. It will be much harder to do , the longer you wait. Get it out of it now! Good Luck
2006-11-16 07:56:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
SINCE IT SEEMS LIKE YOUR LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP DITCH HER NOT REALLY BECAUSE SHE SLEPT WITH YOUR EX EVEN THOUGH THAT DOES ADD INSULT TO ENTRY BUT IT SEEMS LIKE SHE MAYBE INTO CHICKS TO ME THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A BISEXUAL PERSON YOU ALREADY KNEW WHAT IT AS LIKE TO LIVE LIFE AS THE SEX YOU WERE BORN WITH BISEXUAL PEOPLE ARE IN DENIAL ABOUT BEING GAY OR LESBIAN AND IT'S USUALLY ONLY A MATTER OF TIME WHEN THEY TAKE IT ALL THE WAY, PLUS WHO WANTS TO BE CHEATED ON BY YOUR MATE WITH BOTH SEX'S IT'S TO COMPLICATED FIND SOMEONE ELSE. ON TOP OF THAT IT SEEMS AS IF YOUR HAVING A PROBLEM WITH HER SLEEPING WITH YOUR EX 2 YEARS AGO SO THAT'S MORE BAGGAGE FIND SOMEONE NEW.
2006-11-16 07:37:27 · answer #6 · answered by sky g 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
well look at it this way thats less people to add to your slept with list cause they say the person you are sleeping with you have to add all the people they have slept to your list haha
2006-11-16 07:33:16 · answer #7 · answered by Waynes Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude. It's a girl with a girl. You should not feel bad. They just plain around in bed with their *******. Join them and they let you bang them.
2006-11-16 07:33:11 · answer #8 · answered by max p 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Join the crowd to make it a company
2006-11-16 07:31:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude, you've got a 3 some and you didn't even have to ask.
2006-11-16 07:33:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah I know you're confused whether you should feel betaryed or eroused I say you should be erosed hook back with the ex and do the 3some
2006-11-16 07:35:48 · answer #11 · answered by Enthusiast 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋