Pro-Life? Adoption? Older Children? Disabled? Ethnicity Issues?

Question

I know plenty of people who do adopt--but in the same sense most people do not.

Why is it that older children are harder to place then younger children?

Why do people focus on race or ethnicity when adopting a child?

What happens to all the children who are never adopted?

Why is it that some people will spend thousands on conception methods before even considering adoption?

Why is it that some of the most pro-life people out there have plenty of kids of their own but do not adopt children?

Answer 1

Most people do not adopt in the US because it is so hard. The children are usually drug addicted, sexually, mentally, verbally emotionaly abused and/ or neglected. You have to start as a foster parent and go from there who wants to do all of that .Then after you go through all the court-fees, attorney fees, etc. you barely have enough money left over to care for yourself much less another life.

It is harder to place older children because of the above said with the high rate of abuse and neglect and the negative impact that has on a child and their ability to bond with prospective parents.

People who adopt focus on race and/or ethnicity because they want a child as close who and what they are as possible.

Children whom are never adopted remain in foster care until they are 18. They then have then they are basically on their own, many join the armed services to avoid homelessness.

Well yes some people do spend quite a lot on conception methods because people (like me) want their own child not someone elses (hard fact, but true). Its not as much money as you think, to get an IUI (Intera-Uternine-Insemination) is as little as $400. so think about that the child is mine, growing in my womb coming from my loin and I don't have to go to court to get it done as a matter of fact I can pick the sperm online have it delivered with everything necessary to inseminate the sperm and impregnate myself. I don't want to adopt (I am perfectly healthy and heterosexual, just unattached oh and cute!), I want to be able to give my child my history and say this is your history, this is where you came from. I can't do that in all honesty with an adopted child because she/he does not come from my bloodline. I want to BE pregnant. I don't want someone else's child who could not or would not take care of it for whatever reason.


I am pro-life; being so has nothing to do with adopting or not adopting. Being pro-life is about affording women with the right to choose. I personally would not have an abortion if I became pregnant. But I would not stop someone else from having one because "I" don't want to have one. If another woman decides to terminate her pregnancy that does not impede on my life in any way, shape, form or fashion. As a matter of fact I think it helps because that is less children on Medicaid, Welfare, and not a ward of the court which means I am not paying for them.

Here is my question for you why don't pro-life people adopt more. Why is it that they don't care what happens to kids after they are born as long as they are born. Why are they always pushing their religious beliefs on others? Not everyone believes in the Bible or Torah or Koran. Why are prolife people so close minded? Why don't pro-life people who are in legislature do more to make adoption easier so people who want to or who are not oppose to adoption as an option to add to their family would see adoption as a viable option in their parental planning? Thats for all the people who say that pro-life people like myself are hypocrites. We are not hypocrites we don't tell women to have babies that they can't take care of. We don't tell women "well you should have kept your legs closed and you wouldn't be in that predicament" because we know that if you show me a guy who will keep is dick in his pant I show you a girl who will keep her legs closed. Who are the REAL HYPOCRITES? PRO- SO CALLED LIFER'S!!! WHAT KIND OF LIFE CAN YOU HAVE WITHOUT A CHOICE?

Answer 2

As has been said, most older children do come with problems. If a child is placed up for adoption when they're older, that typically means that they are orphans (not very common) or they were taken away from their parents because they were unfit. This means the children have gone through, usually years of, abuse or neglect.

As for race or ethnicity- there are a couple reasons. Some people want kids that look like they do. Others think they won't be able to provide a child of another race with a connection to their history and heritage. Or it may be something smaller. When I was looking into adoption, I didn't want to adopt a black child because I wouldn't know how to do their hair. Stupid- yes. But it was a valid fear that I wasn't alone in. I have since actually found adoption agencies that will teach classes for white parents to learn how to do a black child's hair.

As for spending money on conception- people want their own children. I'm torn between adopting and using artificial methods of conception because I do want a child who looks like me. I want to be able to know if they have my eyes or nose. I'll probably do both but either way is going to cost a lot of money. Adoption is not cheap and in some cases is actually more expensive than conception help. Also, I don't think wanting your own child is bad. I think the people to blame are those who have children and shouldn't, thereby creating a system full of kids that need to be adopted in the first place.

Answer 3

Lots of questions! :) Older children are harder to place because most adults want to raise the children themselves and older children come with their own personal baggage. Some of it is fixable and some of it isn't - some kids have been so abused that they will take a life time recovering. Helping them takes alot of time and patience and love. NOt everyone has that ability to give like that. Alot of adults want to experience having an infant. That bonding with an infant is special and doesn't seem to happen when the child is older. People worry that they won't be able to bond with an older child. Some of the parents worry about adopting of another race because they think it will be harder to raise the child and alot of our society want to stick to "their own kind" - this comes from many people in many different races. The kids that aren't adopted are in foster care until 18. Then they are on their own. There are lots of programs that try and help these young people but there aren't consistent programs everywhere and it is not something that is funded for them. It is really scarey for most foster kids to hit 18 and be out there alone.
I don't know anything about what most pro-life people believe. Adoption and conception - all of it is very personal and each individual has their own views.
Hope I helped alittle.

Answer 4

Why is it that older children are harder to place then younger children?

Adoptive parents don't want a child who is older in fear of the child already being troubled or come with "baggage". Some adoptive parents want children young to install at early age of their families morals, values and traditions when it hasn't been set yet.

Why do people focus on race or ethnicity when adopting a child?

Depends on ethnicity and cultural background. It goes back from religion and cultural generations/teachings.

What happens to all the children who are never adopted?

Foster care system until they come legal of age into adult world. They go to school and some go on to college education as most states help fund that opportunity to them. I have a few friends over the years from foster care and adoptive families. Some has been home to home. Bad experiences. Good experiences. Some with emotional behaviors (molestation, rape, abuse) to physical behaviors (Physical anger, cutting). Some become police officers and military as others are going to college.

Some go on to wonderful functioning citizens as others make their foster care childhood as an excuse to do criminal activities.

Why is it that some people will spend thousands on conception methods before even considering adoption?

Depends on the person. I do recommend adoption and I too will be adopting. I also want my bi logical own. If need medical aid, I will do it once or twice. However, I will also focus more on adoption too. I also want to go into fostering one day when I am available to do so to my best abilities as a foster parent.

Why is it that some of the most pro-life people out there have plenty of kids of their own but do not adopt children?

Hypocritical and biased conflicts they present.

Answer 5

Why is it that older children are harder to place then younger children?

because people fear older children will come with baggage and behavioral issues, and most people just want to raise a child all their life.


Why do people focus on race or ethnicity when adopting a child?
Possibly because a child may feel out of place if they don't look like the parents, or because the parents don't want everyone to know they adopted.


What happens to all the children who are never adopted?
They grow up in group homes?

Why is it that some people will spend thousands on conception methods before even considering adoption?

Because women want the experience of being pregnant. It's human nature.


Why is it that some of the most pro-life people out there have plenty of kids of their own but do not adopt children?

Because they are hypocrites.

Answer 6

It can cost up to 30, 000 dollars to adopt a child. That is why its so hard for regular hard working people to adopt. I did lotsss of research , becasue I was wanting to adopt a child in Bulgaria. I wanted a 4 to 6 year old girl. The children that are never adopted leave the orphanage to get a job and live their life like others do. Once you turn 18 you have to go. ...I know what you mean about spending so much on methods though. I mean if they can do that then they can afford 30, 000 dollars. That is mainly what kept me from doing it. If I could and were financially able to do that, I would adopt 3 or 4 children. That has always been something I have wanted to do.

Answer 7

We are an adoptive family, and we admittedly didn't try very hard on other methods of achieving birth children. Some people spend thousands on the adoption process and don't consider alternative conception methods. Does it really matter how you bring a child/ren into your home as long as you are loving, mature and responsible? Some birth parents are none of these, we see examples of bad parenting every day. At least adoptive families are screened in what seemed like a long and arduous process. Happily, the end result is worth it.
We considered adopting children who fell in the age range of the years we had been married. Most people want to adopt babies to have the "baby experience" - I had other relatives to supply the baby experience.
Older children are perceived harder to adopt because they already have life experience and have to adapt to the new family and the multiple changes in new home and new school. These older kids just want to be loved and accepted and live in a stable environment.
Why do people focus on race or ethnicity when adopting? Are they adopting in their own race or ethnic group because it's more comfortable to do so for their and the child's sake? Or adopt out of their own race because it's the fad or fashion to do so? Easier to adopt from a certain country? Do they believe they are "saving" the child from another country's war/famine/disregard?

November is National Adoption Month!

Answer 8

I know plenty of people who do adopt--but in the same sense most people do not.

the majority of people, for whatever reasons, either do not want children or else want their own biological child

Why is it that older children are harder to place then younger children?

little babies need alot of care, if adopted very young, you are the only parents the child will remember,

Why do people focus on race or ethnicity when adopting a child?
that goes both ways, on the one hand they may want a child like them, on the other, they may want a child who is very different,,,, lets hope the main focus is the child

What happens to all the children who are never adopted?
they most often live in foster homes until they reach age 18, at which time they are basically thrown out into the world with a few dollars and a good luck

Why is it that some people will spend thousands on conception methods before even considering adoption?
because they want their child to be theirs biologically, or atleast partly, and also they want the experience of childbirth

Why is it that some of the most pro-life people out there have plenty of kids of their own but do not adopt children?
their focus is not about finding homes for children, its about preventing what they view as the taking of a life

Answer 9

I will tell you that people want their own baby before someone elses, and a first time mommy usually wants a baby not a toddler (yes that is not right I know) And I being a white woman would prefer a baby that would blend into my family so a white baby. So since white couples that are unable to concieve are the majority of adopting parents in this country, the majority of the children adopted (and waited yeras & years for) are white infants & newborns. My brother & sister in law have been on a list to adopt a white infant for 5 yeras now, they should get a baby sometime this comming year, or so the agency says, but after this they plan to adopt a toddler or young child to "finish the family" but again they will be looking for a white child. But is that really that odd, I am guessing you are a aferican american woman would you prefer a baby like yourself that would blend into the family or a white, asian baby that will stand out. I am not saying it is right, I am just telling you how people think, & I feel so bad when I hear the # of toddlers, Children & teens in the US foster system....People quite going to Africa & Ethiopia to adopt help our own for gods sake

Answer 10

Since no one has responded with a 'Yes, I've given up a baby for adoption', I will tell you my birth mother's story. It was a closed adoption, but I was lucky enough to find her when I was a teenager. After hearing the story of what she went through, I felt more respect, admiration,and love for her than you can imagine! She was pregnant at 16. She knew her parents would want her to have an abortion so she hid the pregnancy until she was too far along to do so. She knew she wanted to place me for adoption so I could have a better life than she could provide on her own. She never, ever got over the loss of giving me up, even though she knew it was the right thing to do. When she was 23, she gave birth to my sister, who she raised. When my sister would cry at night as a baby, my BM would wake up in bed thinking it was me and she had to find me. Every one of my birthdays was traumatic for her because she wanted to know what kind of people were raising me, what did I look like, what kind of person I turned out to be. Even still, she never regretted carrying me to full term and then letting me go without ever even seeing me (she was sedated when she gave birth to me). Surprisely, as I am an adult adoptee, I am pro-choice. You can consider me selfish, but I would have had either an abortion or an open-adoption if I had experienced an unplanned pregnancy. There's no way I could send my baby blindly out into the world uncertain of who would raise them or how they'd be raised. That's why I think my BM is the bravest, strongest, most amazing person I have ever met.

Answer 11

Because if you're going to get a child, you want to have them as longs as possible. If you get an infant you'll have them for 18 yrs. If you get a 10 yr. old you'll only have them for 7 or 8 yrs.

As for race, some people just don't think they'd be able to deal with having a child of a different race. It can be hard if your whole family is one race and you have one member that isn't and some people just aren't prepared to deal with it and would rather just have a child of their own race.

If children aren't adopted, they're kicked out just like you and me were! When they turn 18 they're on their own just like we were at 18.

Mostly because they want a biological child.

Because all people are different and some just can't afford to adopt or don't have the time or space for another child.