What should I do about my outlook on love?

Question

From a childhood experience, I base my self worth on if I'm loved or not. Because of this I'm always chasing guys, which leads to me getting hurt.

But I'm always telling myself I'm a whore, that I should concentrate on school and shun guys because what they've done to me. I don't know if I should keep to myself, focus on school and hope that guys will come to me or I should flirt, have fun and stick with the crowd. I'm really confused on what I should do.

Answer 1

Hi sweetie. Good for you for recognizing this stuff about yourself at such a young age. The most important advice you can keep is - remember to be kind to yourself.

You're not a whore, and your not a geek. Instead of chucking guys and focusing totally on school, why not just cut back and be really selective about which guys to date? Say no to the jerks, say yes to one you normally wouldn't, and say "good job" to yourself for every good thing you do.

But remember to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Everybody makes them. Many worse than yours.

I'm not a religious freak - I just strongly believe in self-redemption. The alternative is too destructive.

Smile - your best friend is you!

Answer 2

You seem pretty young. I'm a 26 year old female and I've felt the way you do. You are to young to worry about boys. Focus on school. Men are trouble if you are not in the right mind state. Some men will take advantage of you if they can tell you have low self esteem. It seems to me that you do have low self esteem. First you need to love yourself. You should go to therapy and counseling on self esteem. Take it from me if you continue to chase boys you will get hurt. Let a boy chase after you that's how you'll know he really likes you. And please don't have sex with someone you barely know. Learn from your mistakes. Always listen to your gut.

Answer 3

just because you have been hurt does not mean you should shun men, just go with the flow and just so you know sitting around waiting for a guy to come along is never going to work, just do this

first find out what makes you feel good about your self that does not have to do with some one else loving you

then DO it

not only will this help your self esteem but give you a sense of better self worth.

my life was in turmoil when some one told me to do this it worked, i no longer chase men if they like me after meeting me a couple times than HE will ask ME out not vis versa. and if they don't stop the pursuit and look some were else. just don't base your life on men they weave a dangerous web with our harts some times with out knowing it

Answer 4

First of all, it looks to me as though you have a low self esteem issue. What I suggest you do is talk to a mental health professional about this problem.
Secondly, I think you should try to come up with a better outlook on life. You should try to balance your school life, and your social life. It's OK to have guy friends, but you should keep the flirting to an absolute minimum. I hope my answer helps you.

Answer 5

Right now simply seeing U R on right here offers me a miles happier outlook on existence...I am praying that U being on right here method well information...for Buddy, as for romance, now that Q will also be spoke back in lots of methods, I suppose I had been blessed with a mother who loves me, a couple of truly peers who do,you're one million of them, I suppose I have additionally been blessed by way of being in a position to like again, and to suppose love and understand love. But as for the affection of a person, I rather suppose I have adored,however certainly not as but been in love, and that's unhappy.

Answer 6

think how important you are to yourself
forget guys for now, focus on school. work real hard and it will pay off in the long run.
if you slack off school and mess around and just go for fun, are any of these people going to take care of YOU for the rest of your life? is any of those people or guys going to pay your bills, buy you food and take you on trips fro the rest of your life..
I DO NOT THINK SO !
It is up to you to get down to school work get an education and go out into the world and do it for yourself, so you can make your own money, and I do not mean minimum wage either...great if you get married to a great guy who has a great job, then you two have choices..two work, and put a lot of money in the bank, or he works while you take care of the children and when they go to school you go back to work at a great paying job...( because you got a GREAT education ) do it for you...every one around you will be struggling to provide for themselves...you can have friends, but concentrate on school..it goes by real fast, then your out in the world working for the rest of your life, then have more fun than you can imagine, but now..SCHOOL and NO GUYS..give them up..
they will come to you, and you can pick and choose....really..
stick with education
first off guys will always be there..either one or another, but school and a good education will not always be there......
you are very smart person, start using it for school and not guys..
I have total faith in you, you can do it..

good luck
smile

Answer 7

Definitely concentrate on school. The guys will come along on the side.
As long as you love yourself, you are ok. It took me a LONG time to realize that. I had a similar view on love. If I didn't have anyone, I felt worthless. I've learned that AFTER I love myself, others can then love me.

Answer 8

Listen, your better off liking no one and going out with no one, someone always gets hurt and in the end it's not worth the pain and suffering

Answer 9

well im sure that you shouldnt live in the past, you should start going out and they will come to you but i do think you should keep up in school to because school is very important but so is a life so i would just start going out to like the movies and trust me they will come to you

Answer 10

that's quite natural but you musn't over do it, it will turn against you, try to take satisfaction in other things, you will get lots of frustration playin with guys that way