Is it considered to be rude to ask someone if they go to church?

Question

I had this elderly customer who used to come in weekly wearing his Jesus baseball cap with his wife. Every time he asks me if I go to church. I may be just overreacting, but I felt that question was none of his business.

I would just like to see if anyone else agrees or disagrees.

There are a lot of great answers on here... it's gonna be tough to pick just one!

Answer 1

Religion, politics, sex and illness should all be personal topics, not shared with another person casually.

On the other hand, lying to a customer about something totally unrelated to your job is fine, if it gets him off your back. It is rude.

Answer 2

Rude might be too strong of a word. It's really not his business, though. I sometimes wonder about people - if they're religious, or what church they go to, etc..... Sometimes it helps me to put people in context, and to understand where they're coming from. But I don't ask, usually.

I also look at people sometimes and wonder if they dye their hair , or whether some guy is wearing a hairpiece or not, etc......My parents taught me not to voice every thought or question that enters my mind, though.

The old guy probably means well. He might just want to share his religious beliefs with you.....assuming that because they have meaning for him, they might for you as well. I'm going by the Jesus baseball cap.

Depending on my mood and the situation, it can make me uncomfortable when people do that to me, too. For instance, if I were at work as you are when this old guy drops in, I'd be uptight about it possibly. Because you're there to do a job, not to discuss a potentially heated topic like religion. Not to mention that other customers might not really care to listen to it.

I might try to change the subject by commenting on the weather.

Answer 3

pushing aside any non secular evaluations, i'd instead be a wind chime. once I evaluate of a church bell i think of of inflexible time. The bell looks to impose some regulation that at a while everyone would desire to accomplish a little unique difficulty; the bell looks to have its very own time table which does no longer bend to the situations of the ladies and men human beings it relatively is designed to serve. in assessment, the wind chime responds to the forces for which it chimes, yet while it chimes, the forces which be would desire to no longer estimated to drop all those forces which they're and pay heed to the chime. The rigidity and the chime are interactively conscious of another, and neither restricts the choice.

Answer 4

It's not rude, he had a question that he wanted to know the answer to. Also if he is a customer who regularly comes in with the Jesus cap on, he may be a religious man and inquiring because he might want to invite you to his church sometime. I know I met a young guy on the bus and he asked me the same thing, and it was because he wanted to invite me to his church. It could be any number of reasons, but when he asked you could have asked him what was his reasoning behind that question, just ask Y????. If he can ask questions that he would like you to answer so can you. I don't think he was being nosy or trying to offend you though. All the best.

Answer 5

It's a divisive question that may drive a wedge between you two if you don't go to church. There's a rule that religion and politics shouldn't be spoken to with acquaintances.

From his perspective, he may be ok with whatever answer you give -- if yes, great, you have something in common. If no, this is his chance to "sell" you on the idea. That's how a lot of church-goers I meet approach it.

I agree that it's none of anyone's business, but I'd personally welcome the question so that I can get into a discussion about it. I would love the chance to either influence his perspective or have mine changed. Great question.

Answer 6

I agree with you: it's not his business. Since he's a customer, you probably have to put up with it. You can say yes I do (whether you do or not) but that leads into the whole what church, why not my church, etc conversation. I usually tell people that I prefer not to discuss religion in my business, and repeat it till they get the hint. I told a LDS door-to-door guy I 'wasn't interested' one day and he said, you don't want to know Jesus? and I said, son, I've known him since before you were born, and my relationship to him is not your business. Get off my porch or you'll be talking to the 12 gauge next. Which was hostile, but he was the 3rd THAT DAY! Relgious zealots/fanatics don't get hints well, so good luck with it!

Answer 7

I think it's extremely rude and invasive. Religion is a personal thing. If a person wants to talk about it, they will indicate whether they do or not. But to just walk up to a person for no reason and ask is not only rude, it's tasteless and shows a complete lack of respect.

Answer 8

Older people know better. Fifty years ago, if someone asked how you voted, what's your religion, or how do you have sex, it was considered VERY rude and VERY unamerican. I cut people slack, though, and if they then push, especially the ones who say that they consider it a goodness to "share" their beliefs with you, I always act surprised and say, "Gosh, times are sure changing. I always thought a person's politics, sex and spirituality were private, personal issues. So, do you use Viagra? I prefer men who can get it up by themselves, actually. Have you ever tried it doggie style? Gosh, these youngsters have all the best sex ideas, don't you think? Have you ever heard about that clitoral piercing idea? Wow! Now. THAT's imaginative? Have you had any problems with that herpes going around? Boy, as a nurse, you oughta SEE the sexually transmitted gooey diseases I get to see." It never fails. Somewhere in all that "sharing" people just walk away from me. : )

Answer 9

It is rude to ask someone if they go to church. This gentleman may be asking just to be nice. It may also be his "cultural upbringing." To some people, church services and church life are very important to them. He may want to share his experiences with you.

The next time he asks, you can say something like "That's part of my private life. I don't talk about it at work."

Or, you could say, "Why are you asking such a personal question?" That may throw him off. You may have to be careful how your respond. You may not want to get into trouble with some "snappy" answers.

Or, you can say, "Have a nice day" when you are done with him and NEVER answer the question.

Hang in there.

Answer 10

I agree that it is rude if someone is asking you if they go to church. Like who cares? If you don't go, then they will ask you why not? I had a few people who asked me that when I used to live in Pacifica and they would want to know why not. I told them I worked on Sundays. I didn't lie. I was in the retail industry then. Anyway, they told me one day maybe I will go to church. I don't think so after a bad experience I had at church when I used to go. They just want to invite you to their church when you can easily make up a lie and say something to turn down an invitation.

Answer 11

Yes! Like another responder stated, subjects regarding sex, religion, politics, and matters regarding your personal life are not appropriate for a guest NOR an employee to discuss. It is a rude invasion of privacy! If the two parties are familiar with each other and have no qualms about discussing personal information, it should be done at their own discretion. That being said, you can be the bigger person and say, " I'm sorry but I'd like to remain private about my personal life/opinion. How can I assist you today?" I myself feel uneasy about sharing personal information for 2 main reasons: 1) People feel free to pass judgement or their "wisdom" onto me. 2) If they are mere strangers whom I wouldn't befriend otherwise, my private life should not be a topic of interest to them. As the old saying goes, ' There's a time and a place..."