Anybody feel like a completely different person after having a baby?

Question

I lost a great bit of self=esteem, and I'm working hard on getting it back by working out and stuff. Also, I became a little bit more jealous too-SUCKS! Please share any details of how you felt, how to feel better, or just anything you want. I'm working hard on getting myself back to normal. Thanks!

Answer 1

I know what you mean. You do totally change as a person and that is hard to deal with. As far as the jealousy, it is probably because you have gained weight and probably are not back to your pre-pregnancy weight. It is very difficult to do. Some never get it back. But just as your body image has changed, so has your mates image of you. He now sees you as this beautiful mother image who is taking care of his child. Men find it sexy for women to nurture their children. I heard this in a documentary, so I asked my husband, he said it is true. You are a beautiful person in and out and just have to realise it. Try to get a friend to take the baby for a few hours either so you can have some together time or so you can have a few hours to yourself. If you dont have anyone willing to do that, then when the baby is asleep put the housework off and take that time to be together. You did not say how old the baby is, but you could put the baby securely in her/his playpen or bouncer and take some time for you either to shower or what ever you find as quality time. It will get better, but if it doesn't you may want to see someone. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and there is nothing wrong with getting the help you need. We all need to talk to someone from time to time. I am sure it will resolve itself soon(on its own) , but keep in mind you will never be that carefree woman again. You are now responsibile for a little life.

Answer 2

I have an 18 month old son and am prenant with another baby boy due in February.Since becoming a mom I have felt much less attractive because of the extra weight,stretch marks and cellulite.Plus I nursed so my boobs were not as pretty and perky as before.They kinda hang there now:( I have also felt guilty because sometimes I just want to be by myself and I need a few hours about once a month to go do my own thing-some time away.I love being a mom-and having kids is a beautiful thing-but I wish my body hadn't changed so much-I used to look so sexy.

Answer 3

I feel like my daughter was a miracle sent to rescue me from myself.

Three things I've noticed different about me:
1) I never used to smile, now I never stop smiling.
2) It used to be hard for me to talk with certain people, but now I'm not afraid to talk to anyone!
3) I used to be angry a lot, but now I can't stand the feeling of being angry.

My daughter is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I am so sorry to hear that you've been feeling worse instead of better. I'm glad to hear that you are trying to get better. You're off to a good start.

Answer 4

Yes I did. In fact, I think that you completely change after having a baby, as with any major lifestyle change. How long ago was your delivery? I felt more "normal" around the 6 week mark, I think it takes a while for your hormones to adjust and level off.

Answer 5

Hey having a baby really takes a toll on you and your body and your emotions. It is a known fact. I have 2 kids and I went through a depression after my first child and didn't want my husband to touch me after my second. For most women your body gets all out of shape when you have a child. You tend to gain weight where you didn't before, you have rolls where you didn't and wish for them to disappear because it is hard to fit into your jeans again. It also takes a toll on you emotional/mentally. You just went through labor and for me with my second I pushed out a 9 lb. 10 oz. baby and squeezed him out of a tiny hole. I had problems with both of my labors. My babies were turned and with my second since he was bigger it was harder on my body in trying to get him out.

I still today don't feel like myself and have esteem problems. I don't have time to exercise. I'm a stay-at-home mom and my child that is at home demands my attention and I give it to him.

Remember, you aren't alone in how you feel. I now suffer from PMS really bad and that doesn't help when you already have esteem issues.

Hang in there and it sounds like you are on the right path to getting back to where you want to be. It isn't easy, but it'll be worth it. Also, your doctor could help if you feel like you may be suffering from some depression. Sometimes people feel like they are terrible people for even having depression or even thinking about getting on something. I did until someone told me that I shouldn't feel that way because everybody needs help at times. Hope I could help.

Answer 6

Having other parents to talk to helps a lot. Sorry, but hanging out with single friends w/o kids sometimes make it worse. Working out is one of the best ways to really feel better about yourself. Most gyms offer daycare, and it's a great way to meet friends and to know you are also taking care of yourself. Feeling fat, lazy and just exhausted is a common feeling. Taking time for yourself will benefit everyone in your family. Sorry guys, but they usually have no clue to helping us out the way we need it. Hormons also play a cruel joke at this time.. again, working out has benefited me tremindously. Good Luck.. chat rooms w/ parents can also help.

Answer 7

of direction that's diverse inclusive of your individual toddler than once you're finding after somebody else's. there is not any handing them back because of the fact you're drained or ill or have someplace to pass. you spot them while they're cranky, obdurate and are often the only they hit back at. ascertain's are expected to comprehend each and every thing, and are blamed for each fault their offspring has, each and every undesirable selection, each and every revolt and the word "you will desire to blame the mum and dad" is bandied around further and extra. in spite of this all sounding adverse you besides mght see the perfect sides of your toddler, those little moments that for the duration of effortless terms you're privileged to ascertain, the little ones softer component, the little ones remarkable humour and the greater youthful toddler's achievements as they advance and mature. you may show satisfaction in the guy your toddler will become and the help and preparation a ascertain provides is incomparable to the different!

Answer 8

I had some pretty significant baby blues, too.

It's especially hard, I think, if you're nursing. You have this needy little person who depends on you for EVERYTHING, including food.

Or if you've had a C-section. It's just so much harder to get your body back and do all the things you used to do.

You get so "touched out" with a new baby. You just want some personal space with NO ONE TOUCHING YOU! But then, when they don't, you wonder if you've just become some kind of horrible mom blob, completely unwanted and unattractive.

You feel like you're totally unproductive, so you try to take advantage of every opportunity to throw in a load of laundry or clean or cook or whatever, but you're kind of resentful about it.

And it's so easy to just wander around in a fog of unhappiness. Even when you're able to back up and say to yourself, "I wanted this baby. I love her more than anything. I love my husband, and he's a willing partner, and he helps. We have food on our table and a roof over our head and great friends and family..."

I needed opportunities to talk without being pushed to talk. And I needed to hear how much my withdrawn behavior was worrying the people who love me.

I started taking the dog for walks at night; exercise for me, love for the dog, and a chance to be out and about, free, with no one fussing at me or touching me or needing me to be doing anything more than walking.

I found that having my best friend come over to the house on her lunch break (while I was on maternity leave) was great. She kept me tapped in to goings on at the office and in the outside world. She would hold my baby (who was an acid reflux baby and screamed 14 hours a day) while I showered. And she'd bring lunch and chat, and when she left I'd discover that she'd cleaned my sink or swiffered my floor, too. She wasn't afraid to tell me that I'd been wearing the same T-shirt for days, or that my bed head was getting out of control. And having that kind of unjudging but honest feedback, along with constant support from my boy, got me through it. One day, I woke up and realized I felt like myself again. Or maybe I'd just forgotten my old life? But I wasn't "blue" anymore.

Answer 9

You go through so many changes after having a baby. Its like someone else is now more important than yourself. This tiny little infant puts all its faith and love in your hands. I fell in love with my babies, who are grown and married with children of their own now. But I do remember I was very emotional then too. Just wait until menapause comes...:)

Answer 10

i got post pardom depression after both my babes. and not to mention had gained over 50lbs with both so i had to work the weight off too..
but yes it is not just you feeling this way

i have heard ppl say that every time you have a baby you change phsyicaly and mentaly just a little maybe but yes i belive there is a change