Should children live with their mothers?

Question

My son's father and I have both agreed on joint custody. I raised my child alone from birth to age 11. His father has now married and has taken him for the remaining years 12 to 18. His father proudly has him in football and believes that a fatherly influence is what a SON needs to be raised as a proper man. My relatives are in an uproar and continue to treat me as if I am a bad mother for allowing this. I don't understand what the problem is - - his father is also his parent and also has a right to be apart of his life. Do you feel that a child should remain with it's mother during separation regardless of the circumstances?

Answer 1

I think it's good to share the parenting even if you're not together anymore. Allowing the child to experience life with both parents will give the child a stronger relationship with both parents. It's a personal decision to be made between the two of you. Don't worry about the relatives, it's not their child. As long as you're comfortable with your son living with his father and new wife then they should respect your decision and butt out.

Answer 2

I feel when in your case, it is perfectly fine, if you don't mind that's how it is. See, my husband's parents divorced when he was young...They allowed him to stay with whomever he wished- and sometimes he was with his mom, sometimes with his dad and his dad's new wife. That worked out for them... and I really think it was a good idea- it helps the child know he/she is loved by both and when parents can get along even if divorced, that's wonderful!

Now as far as my parents- my mom divorced my dad... leaving my dad with nothing- it was ugly, and I feel horrible for my dad. My mom also has my two younger brothers all the time, except for every other weekend when my dad gets them.. this is soooo hard on my brothers... especially the youngest who is 11. He always wants to be with my dad, and is sad a lot. but my mom is more about herself than she is her children.

I really think it's best to look out for the children any way you can. In this case, you are doing a good job. Keep your child in mind, and never forget he is number one. So look out for his needs. He may need you during that time 12-18 yrs... let him come to you if he needs to.

Goodluck, and don't worry about what everyone says, if you feel this is right, and the Dad is doing a very good job, then so be it!

Answer 3

No I don't, I read in an article once that said during adolescence, a child is 75% less likely to do drugs, drink, or be promiscuous if they have a fatherly influence. They do still need their mothers though, so just make sure you are still their to support him emotionally. I think your family is going over board. I think it's good his father wants to be there for him.

Answer 4

It depends. There are good and bad parents. If both parents are good, there is no reason why a child can't live with either one or be in shared custody. My grandson has been in a shared custody arrangement since he was 4. His divorced parents live in the same community so he alternates time with each. He is a happy, well adjusted child.

Answer 5

Whatever you, the father feel is best for the child. If the courts agree so be it. Don't let anyone talk you out of what you feel is right for your child. Its not like your not still involved in his life.

Answer 6

I did the same thing with my ex! We are still close (after the divorce) and see eye to eye with raising OUR children. Some of our family members don't think it's fair and my own grandmother doesn't know that I am a foster parent because of the arrangement that WE made as parents, because she wouln't understand! Good luck and remember, it's YOUR decision...no one elses!

Answer 7

whatever is in the best intrest of your child. Who cares what the others think, as long as you can go to bed at night knowing that your child is taken care of and not abused, then tell your family to MYOB!(mind your of business)
You are not a bad mother for letting him go wither. As long as you are still a big part of his life and he knows you love him, then you have done the right thing.

Answer 8

a child should live with whatever parent is responsible enough to raise him or her right and love the child the best that they can. Gender shouldn't be an issue.

Answer 9

nicely in case you have concerns for the baby secure practices or you sense the mummy isn't offering the straightforward desires of shelter, outfits, or foodstuff, you dont undertake the baby, you call baby and kinfolk amenities and enable them to renowned the childs secure practices is in threat. Then they arrive out and consider the area. they'll the two save the baby with the bio kinfolk and furnish them with amenities to improve their residing situations or they'll eliminate the baby and allow the mothers and dads to improve their residing project for the baby to return. in simple terms by way of fact the mummy in simple terms reported you've her grew to become into maximum defintely no longer an invite to take her!!! WHy dont you furnish her some help particularly of attempting to be sure the thank you to take the baby. BTW, CFS would not eliminate babies that actual in maximum states, distinctly for what you're able to be able to planned to be "in simple terms below ordinary existence sort"

Answer 10

i think u made the right decision for him and yourself. u can't change the past. i think your relatives are just concerned because they love u and your son and feel like its only right that he lives with u. we all become very protective of our family.

maybe its just because the norm is for the mom to raise the kid and if the mom doesn't have the kid that means that their bad. this is just from my experience. in my family the children who live with their dad's its because the mother did something wrong.