I am 23 is it wrong to be with a 17 year old?

Question

Am i too old for her? I work with her mother and have been told she quite likes me (the 17 yr old not the mother) and to be honest i like her, i just don't know if i should go for it and let things happen or not? Im 99% sure i will ask her out just want to see what everyone elses view on it is. Also any tips on where to take her on our first date?

The egal age for consent in my country (Scotland) is 16 and so nothing illegal would happen.

Sex isnt an issue right now, i just want to date her, Might look like the creepy older guy but not wanting to get serios yet and im sure she doesn't. And do not worry i will make sure that she is 100% ready and consenting before our relationship went further

Answer 1

NO NO NO! There is absolutely nothing wrong with this whatsoever. I am 30 and I would like to date a 17 year old girl. If anyone tells you you are a perv, ignore them.

Also people need to read your question properly and stop telling you to wait til she's 18 - you have already stated quite clearly that THE AGE OF CONSENT IN SCOTLAND IS 16!

Do it and enjoy it!

Answer 2

The emotional difference in maturity between a 23 year old and a 17 year old is very large. Because you, ideally, are at a higher level of mental development and emotional maturity, you are in a position of higher power over the 17 year old girl. Whenever you are in a position of higher power than someone else, you cannot be completely sure that TRUE CONSENT exists. She may engage in sexual activities with you because you are more persuasive than boys her own age, or because she wants to seem "cool" and "mature" by "going along with your suggestions". This is NOT OKAY ethically, and you would bring down the mistrust and displeasure of your coworkers and community if you dated this girl. There are millions of other fish in the sea. Broaden your horizons and date a woman your own age.

Answer 3

The math isn't bad, but the difference in life stage and experience makes this a bad decision. At 25 and 19 or 27 and 21, it will be a whole different ball game. Let her go to prom with another teenager, not a creepy old guy that can't get any with women his own age - because that's what people will think.

Answer 4

Wow, it sounds like "mom" is encouraging this..... well here's my opinion....
If, I, myself had to choose, I would not do it, because of maturity issues. Also you are older and are looking for different things in life and are at a different point in your life than she is, so it may not really work out. She is still in the "high school/prom/graduation" stage. You also have to think about what will happen if she goes to college. I'm guessing you are probably not in that same mind set. You also have to becareful as to what you "do" with her because she is indeed still a minor. I would check up on laws. I know that in the heat of the moment we can not make clear decisions, so it is something to think about. Do you want to get yourself into a situation like that? 16 is legal to give consent, but in my state it does not matter whether the girl gave consent or not, the parents can still take you to court and file rape. Then if you do indeed get together with the girl, she can't spend the night with you because she lives at home. You have her parents to deal with and she is not free to run her life or make the decisions in her life because her parents still control her life. So, does this still sound like a good idea to you? Trust me, I've come across this same thing when I was in high school, graduated, went to college, and left my boyfriend behind.....it didn't work. We lived in 2 totally different worlds. So just wait for an older woman to come your way and you will feel so much better if you hold out for someone who is more around your age. Good luck with your decision, it is a tough one, but you will ultimately make the decision that is best for you, what ever that may be.

Answer 5

When I was 17 I went out with a guy who was 23. Looking back, for me he was too old. Had much more experience than me. But I was pretty naive at that age. But you seem sensible, if you take it slow and just enjoy dating maybe it could work.

Why don't you go bowling, that's always fun and it allows you to chat which you can't do in a cinema. A meal is a bit too scary for a first date in my opinion!

Answer 6

I don't think it's that bad. I know in some states the age of consent is 17, but just make sure y'all don't do anything intimate and y'all should be just fine. 5 years is no biggie, that's how far apart my parents are. And girls mature faster than guys anyway, so y'all are probably on the same wavelength as far as maturity goes, plus you work with her mother..it's not like you will "try anything" anyway. :)

Answer 7

Take it slow for now and just talk to her and go on little dates. Explain to her why no kissing and stuff till you are 18. At least in most states it is wrong but in some with parents consent you can date her.

Answer 8

I have a friend who at the time was 23, he was with a 16 year old. They kept the relationship to themselves for fear of what people might think. He is now 26 years old and they are still together. They have a great relationship!! So I guess it depends on how committed you are, and how mature she is.

Good of you to be concerned, says a lot about your character....
Good Luck to you both!!!!!

Answer 9

What's wrong with the age gap? If you love her, & you have the approval of the parents, go for it.

7-10 years is a normal age gap. As for where you should go on a date, cinemas are good or, if you have something in common, do something around that.

Answer 10

IMHO, there is nothing wrong with it. You might want to check the local laws. Although, if her mom is OK with it, it probably doesn't matter.

First dates are about getting to know each other. Avoid places where you cannot talk (movies, plays, concerts...) Pick something fun like the zoo, an open market, the boardwalk, a picnic.