My sister in law is jealous of me?

Question

My sister in law acts like a crazy person. We just had the strangest phone call:
She just had a "heart to heart" talk with me where she wanted to tell me everything that she doesn't like about me. And for me to be completely honest with her about me feelings for her. WHO DOES THIS? Apparently she's jealous because I have a closer relationship with our husband's mother than she does. We live across the street from each other AND we work together, what does she expect? They moved 2 1/2 hours away. Also, she's jealous that I have a friendship with her old best friend, whom she ruined her relationship with due to lying and stealing and being just plain mean. This girl isn't my best friend or anything, I see her only occasionally.
What do I do about her? She just HAD to tell me how much she hates me, and I felt nervous telling her the same thing because I wasn't sure if it would be used against me later.
Would you have told your crazy sister in law everything that bugs you about her?

I'm not "assuming" she jealous of me. She told me so.

Answer 1

Don't be silly and keep ur feeling to urself. Besides, what will u benefit if u tell her? U'll only be relieved for a few minutes and then u'll regret it...this way, you're still the "bigger person" and u have advantage over her...expressing ur feelings is good only in close relationships that u feel the need to improve on...she's not exactly ur best friend! Trust me, she'll even look up to you if you keep the "courteous and friendly" grounds...

Answer 2

Although I do see your point, I also see hers. Considering the fact that she lives out of state and does not get to see her mother often, I am sure that she isn't trying to be rude, but would just like some catching up time. And, although your kids have their Friday night tradition, missing one night while she is here wouldn't kill anyone. I think that since this probably won't be an all the time thing, it wouldn't be too big of a deal to give her the space she is asking for. It would be different if she lived in the same place as you and her mom, but she doesn't. I wouldn't let it bug you too much. You get to be close with your mom in law every day, she doesn't, thats all.

Answer 3

Truthfully, I wouln't have allowed the conversation to get that far. I either wouldn't have answered the phone, (I have caller Id) and I don't answer the phone to my fiances family....... with exception of his mom, dad, and step mom of course. Or, I would have answered the phone with a quick excuse of that I was just heading out the door and would call her back another time. And then didn't. I only deal with my fiance's step brothers and all their wives during the holidays. Sure I see them at times when we go to just visit and they or one set of them happen to be there, but I stick close to my fiances step mom. I am the only she really likes and can talk to. My fiance has 4 step brothers. Their own mother 'puts up with' the women of their choice. She can't stand 3 of them and one she just doesn't get......... she says she is 'strange'.

My fiances 4 step brothers are all jealous of him because he is his dads only child. They think that his dad and their mother give him too much and are there for him too much. Their wives don't like me because they know that their mother in law can't stand them but loves me to death and is just waiting for the day my fiance and I get married. She is super excited about it, so is his dad and his mom and step dad.

I avoid all the siblings and their married partners any and every chance I get. Yes, I would have told her that I hated her and why and then I would have asked her politely to NEVER call again and I would have hung up. Jealousy is stupid, and she did ask you to be honest......... so, I would have, then I would have called my mother in law and my own mother and told them exactly what had just happened and what I said........ that way........ there would be no "using it against me later".

Blessed be .................... I hope you and her can find a common ground. If that is possible. :)

Answer 4

You should have just said, "sis, I am so sorry that you seem to dislike me so much and find so many things wrong with me. I know you want me to tell you the same kinds of things, but I just love you the way you are and I am so glad you are my sister in law." Make her hate you even more for your kindness and love her like she is your best friend and sister...it will eat her up and you will not have any fear or guilt...

Answer 5

Perhaps she just wanted to get her feelings out in the open with you and you with her so that you could resolve the problems between you two. People have heart to hearts all the time. It's a mature way to fix the problems. She probably assumed that ya'll could work out the problems. Obviously you are having none of that and that is sad. I think it is a stretch that you automatically assume she is jealous of you.

Answer 6

Got one in the family too. Keep her away from your life and keep your relationship with her very "superficial" Don't make any effort to help her with her insecurities. This type of person will bring you down and ruin your life and your family. Believe me I know. Tell her you are very sorry she has those feeling and suggest she work them out through counseling. Do nothing more. The issue is her not you.

Answer 7

No I wouldn't have said anything back to her. In the end this will drive her even more nuts and you can have the satisfaction of knowing you got to her without doing anything mean or out of the ordinary. Its her problem and her loss that she's has all of these neg feelings towords you. After a while she'll have to make a choice continue to hate and therefore pull herself out of your life as much as possible or suck it up and apologize. Good luck.

Answer 8

It sounds like this chick is just craving attention. I would just listen to her and and well I am sorry you feel that way. If you say anything to her about how she bothers you she will tell everyone that you said this or you said that. Then it will start a big family ordeal. Good luck.

Answer 9

First of all you will NEVER NEVER NEVER be closer to her own mother then she is. Sorry sweet heart it sounds to me like you are the one trying to take your sisters in laws place. Grow up and stop competing with her. You are suppose to be family. And maybe if you werent so stuck up then yall actually might be friends.

Answer 10

She did it tp make herself feel superior. She disguises as her doing you a favor. Good for you for not telling her the same things back. You took the high road--stay there, and keep your distance from now on!