I'm in my mid 30's, breaking it off with yet another Mr. Wrong who seemed more like Mr. Right than the last one. Everytime my older married sister comes around she cracks jokes about how I can't keep a man and how I need to get married. Sometimes I ignore her, sometimes I tell her that I will do as I please without her "support". When I go home, I cry. I feel upset, and sometimes helpless, that things don't workout with these guys, but I can't just get married. I don't want to show up to Thanksgiving dinner, because I don't want to hear more. What do I do?
2006-11-16 04:07:53 · 12 answers · asked by oh really 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If your family is that insensitive it's not likely that talking to them about it will do any good. If you can just play along with it and be the bigger person you'll feel better about it. Can you bring yourself to joke about it along with them or ask them for their advice? If you keep allowing this to hurt you, they'll smell blood and keep up with it. Change the subject by asking what challenges and rewards they've had with their relationships. If you get people talking about themselves, they'll forget about talking about you. Good luck. And by the way, don't feel guilty if you don't want to go to the family get-together. Find a charity that's hosting a Thanksgiving dinner, or better yet, work for one that is. Being around caring people, and people that are worse off than you, will be a great lifter of your spirits.
2006-11-16 04:30:44 · answer #1 · answered by bdenton2k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, no one NEEDS to be married. You know you are doing what is best for you in not making that commitment to someone you know is not the right man for you. It sounds to me like your older sister is insecure and making herself feel better by putting you down. You wrote here how hurt you are everything she gets on you about not being married - now put it in writing to her. Tell her how hurtful her comments are. It sounds like you want to find the right guy and get married. Her telling you you're a failure does not help. Ask her if she settled on someone when she got married. I'm sure her answer will be no. Then ask her why she thinks you should settle - that if she truly wants you to be happy that she will just be there for you. This is your life - live it for yourself.
Best wishes!
2006-11-16 12:16:55 · answer #2 · answered by davystam 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most times people taunt others because of problems they have with themselves. I know I've teased my younger sister in the past about issues I've had with myself or with others. Your sister might have issues with her own marriage and wants you to be in the same boat. However, it could also be that she wants to see you 'happy' and to her that means marriage even if she is doing it is a mean way. Marriage isn't always happiness to everyone and many married people are often envious of single people. To many marriage can feel like a burden or to others that their younger days of fun have come to an end. And while these might not be the feelings your sister has she might have some envy for the freedom that comes with your singleness. Only you can judge what are her reasons for taunting you but what is most important is that you sit her down and calmly explain to her that she is hurting you and for her to think about the way she's treating you. Marriage is not the be all and end all and your sister probably knows that already.
2006-11-16 12:14:54 · answer #3 · answered by aloha29 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl tell her to back off and live her own damn life...not everybody gets married on some wonderful planned time schedule...love happens when it happens and tell her to stop worrying about ur life, possibly hating on the fact that ur not tied down like she is, focus on her marriage....i cant stand we people do that mess to others....it's ridiculous and just be cuz marriage isnt happening for u on her time, dont mean time doesnt know what it's doing....do your thang girl, enjoy your life, remember a man/marriage is an addition to ur life not a completion...hold ur head up high and as ur long ur happy, dont let her and her foolishness get u down...even if she does know what u been thru with the different guys, she still has no room to talk unless she truly understands and cares about ur situation. Go to dinner girl, family is important, and be confident in whereever u are in ur life now. live it and enjoy it.
2006-11-16 12:13:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not show up and then when some one says hey missed you T-day tell them the truth how hurt your sister makes you feel and you are not going be put through it any more. OR go and if she says anything let her have it with both barrells right in front of everyone, Might feel pretty good.
2006-11-16 12:12:29 · answer #5 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she starts up again just tell her to shut the hell up. Let her know you are tired of hearing her line of S(you know what)T. If you really want to get her goat, find an old flame of hers and ask him to play a trick on her. Tell her HE is the guy. This works well if the guy is better than what she settled for.
2006-11-16 12:11:29 · answer #6 · answered by netnazivictim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, so here's a sorta mean thing you can say to get her back: "Well I rather end up w/ a _____ guy than someone like yours." or something. I can't think of like a word to put there, but I know it could be mean if you made it mean you could make it like a total insult. but ya i think you should just tell her that you just haven't found the right person yet, or tell her your not ready to just go settle down w/ just any guy like she did. :)
2006-11-16 13:29:29 · answer #7 · answered by lesgoracn9@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
let her know that u r happy with dating and seeing whats out there.mayb she is jealous bcuz she cant do the things that single woman could do.dont worry u dont have to rush anything with anyone whe the time comes you'll appreciate the fact that you waited for the right one.
2006-11-16 12:14:53 · answer #8 · answered by nate's wife! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her that she's giving you bad advice. Maybe she's unhappy in her marriage and wants to have someone that can share in her displeasure. If she really loves you, she wouldn't want you to be burdened with someone who "doesn't make your toes curl!"---unless she's really unhappy or jealous of you.
2006-11-16 12:14:00 · answer #9 · answered by whadda-dingo-gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your sister and let her know her comments upset you. tell her you will get married when you ready.
2006-11-16 12:11:54 · answer #10 · answered by S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋