I have been in a committed (so I thought) relationship with a guy for 17 years. It was his first gay relationship but we have stuck to our promises and now I learn that he is dating a 17 year old female employee of his behind my back. We have lived together the entire time that we have known each other and this behavior started appr. a yr ago when he got promoted to management. He admitted to one affair two days before Thanksgiving and the week of Final Exams in school. Yes, despite our problems I decided to better myself and go back to college for my degree in Fashion Design!! That girl shot him down and after learning the truth about me, she left town! Now I find a picture in his wallet of another teenager that had the inscription "MI Diablo Grapo" "I Love You". He says it is harmless fun and that he didn't want to hurt her feelings but what about MINE? If yoiu have any advice for me other than the obvious-lose him, dump him, etc. I can not at this time-I am STUCK!
2006-11-16 04:07:30 · 20 answers · asked by queenie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes this story is TRUE!
2006-11-16 04:21:32 · update #1
Sounds like someone is going through a mid-life crisis. Should wait until they are at least 18 and not with employees. Some companies have rules prohibiting fraternizing with co-workers. Can cause problems (sexual harassment) with supervisor/employee relationships.
2006-11-16 04:10:41 · answer #1 · answered by whadda-dingo-gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is good to hear that you are going back to school to do something on your own. Good Luck to you. I would think that you are an intelligent person that is stuck in a very bad relationship at this point. Besides the cheating issue, (which I wouldn't tolerate) this person is having relationships with minors. You need to realize that your significant other is going to keep up the same behaviour time and time again. I believe even if you confronted him, you would give in to the same situation that you are currently in. I know you do not want to hear the "dump him" line, but you might want to make a reality check and see that you will be no better off down the line. You are an important person and DESERVING of the same respect and honesty that your brought to the relationship. Don't forget, you can CHOOSE to make the right decision which I am sure you already know.
2006-11-16 04:24:40 · answer #2 · answered by rockyraccon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An odd situation...A gay man complaining that his partner is maybe str8 and cheating on him with a hot young female. It's just not fair...
Without judgment, you aren't married to this guy. He just didn't tell you, so he's a liar, but considering the circumstances, if I were 40 and could score on an 18 year old chick, I mean could you blame me? You've persuaded him toward a gay life style without letting him explore his hetero side for 17 years. He is curious and controlling people is not what life is about. While maybe both of you are a bit warped and strange, neither of you are in the wrong.
Your best course of action at this point is to lighten up, let it go, live and let live and when you are ready to be unstuck from your current living arrangement, then let nature take its course.
2006-11-16 04:24:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do to change your partner. It's too bad you feel stuck. I don't know the details of your situation, but there are always alternatives to living with someone like your partner.
If you can't make any changes drastic enough to allow you to leave this guy right now, then you just have to make a plan for when and how you will leave him. In the meantime, keep telling yourself it's only temporary.
2006-11-16 04:14:08 · answer #4 · answered by liz_in_adam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and open about it. Put all your feelings out on the table and make him an ultimatum. I'm not sure what you could say, but show him that you are hurt. Explain to him that he should also be hurting by acting this way toward you. Other than wacking him in the head with a frying pan, I hope this works.
2006-11-16 04:14:04 · answer #5 · answered by katiej47 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is dating 16 & 17 yr. olds..he is obviously a jerk. What man at that age dates girls that young. He is not gay he is bi and will always be that way. I would just stick it out until you are not STUCK and move away from him. You deserve better and he is taking you for granted.
2006-11-16 04:11:24 · answer #6 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its called pedophile... He's sick. and honey, you are NOT stuck.. dump him and move out. Im sure you have friends or something you could stay with temporarily. IF these girls really are underage, as you claim, thats against the law and he should be reported to the authorities. Ever heard the phrase SEX OFFENDER???
2006-11-16 04:16:49 · answer #7 · answered by Cyndi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you stuck? i think that's all you can do. 40 yr old w/ 16, 17 yr olds? sounds like a perv to me no offense. i'm sorry but all i can come up w/ is the obvious one. so hopefully someone else answers, huh.
2006-11-16 04:11:44 · answer #8 · answered by lesgoracn9@sbcglobal.net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would find somebody better for you. I mean if he can't give you what you want which is a commited relationship, then find somebody who can. You so deserve to be treated better, and if you honestly don't want to do that then sit down with him and talk to him and tell him that it is hurting you and that you want it to stop. If he does care for you he will stop for you.
2006-11-16 04:17:18 · answer #9 · answered by blacknessforeverandever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First DUMP THE ####!! Next turn him in to the authorities if it illegal in your area to be with a minor. Statutory rape, maybe a felony?
2006-11-16 04:12:13 · answer #10 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋